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make a best-possible decision, the situation is not a ‘dilemma’.

94

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95

Chapter 6 Moral Disorientation and Ethical StrugglesDUfh&Gc`X]Yfg]b7cbɘ]Wh

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7 I have not been able to convincingly verify the following, but according to rumor, several Dutchbat II soldiers gave local W\]`XfYb]bGfYVfYb]WUÃhfYUhgÄh\UhkYfYUWhiU``m^Ua!WcjYfYXZiY`hUV`YhgB=C8&$$& d"%&(,"5`gc =\UjYVYYbhc`Xh\Uh

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that colleagues spat on local children throwing stones at them, and colleagues slapped children who kept trying to climb cbh\Y]fjY\]W`YgXif]b[dUhfc`g"BcbYcZh\YjYhYfUbg=gdc_Yk]h\gU]Xh\Ym\UXXcbYgiW\h\]b[gh\YagY`jYg dYf\Udg

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is conceivable that some behaviors remain too hard to admit to others, possibly even to oneself. Some veterans told me that indeed they were not yet ready to talk about ‘some things’ they had experienced.

96

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, In these circumstances, even the slightest gesture made a great impact. To take Bob’s story as an example. He had been XYYd`m acjYX k\Yb h\Y Aig`]a Vcm [UjY \]a \]g W][UfYɛYg" 6cV gYYag hc \UjY YldYf]YbWYX h\Y [YghifY Ug U gcfh cZ

understanding or forgiveness, or human kindness at least. At the same time, it underscored the unfairness of the situation.

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99

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no reason to think badly of oneself or for others to think badly of oneself. To have failed, by contrast, is to have a reason to think badly of oneself and to expect others to do the same’. Calhoun adds that even when failures have been ‘unavoidable’, they ‘leave their evaluative mark. They are sources of regret, shame, loss of self-esteem, and of the thought that one’s character or life is blemished by falling short of some standard for what lives should look like’ (ibid).

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