“Gestampte muisjes”:
The audiovisual translation of humor in Theo
Maassen’s Zonder Pardon
MA Thesis by Marjolein Berends Master programme Linguistics: Translation Student number 10003074 Supervisor Dhr. Eric Metz 4 July 2014
Abstract
Although one can easily assume that the translation of humor is almost always problematic – especially in audiovisual translation –, it is still done in practice very often. With the
upcoming of comedy films and TV series such as sitcoms, it could be said that the ordinary, everyday translation of humor is present most in its audiovisual forms. Humor in audiovisual translation is is difficult enough as it is, but an extra layer is added when discussing the translation of comedy shows, which unlike TV series and comedy films, do not entirely
depend on fixed scripts. Comedy shows are not directed in a way that films and TV series are, and some parts often contain some improvisation on the comedian’s part as well. Not only does this cause the possibility of having to omit parts in translation because the comedian’s pace of speech tends to be much higher than in professionally directed films, but it also contains a kind of language that is much more natural than the pre-written scripts for feature films. This demands for a natural, well-flowing translation into the target language, which requires much effort from the translator in question. In this paper, an attempt at translating Dutch humor to English has been described and analyzed. A part of a comedy show called
Zonder Pardon, performed by Dutch comedian and actor Theo Maassen, has been transcribed,
translated and subtitled. Many difficulties arose regarding the translation of several humorous elements in the subtitles, but it can be said that the translation process was successful in most situations. Nevertheless, it has been concluded that despite best efforts, a part of the humor will always be lost in translation.
Table of contents
1. Introduction………..3
1.1 Audiovisual translation………4
1.2 The constraints of subtitling……….5
1.3 Humor in translation………...10
1.4 Translating Theo Maassen’s Zonder Pardon……….11
2. Method……….13
2.1 Materials used………13
2.2 Translation………..13
3. Translation and analysis………15
4. Conclusion………...67
1. Introduction
A widely recurring problem in translation studies has always been the issue of translating humor – humorous texts such as comedic novels or plays tend to require a different approach than just “regular” texts, as the content needs to have a specific effect on the target audience. The concept of humor is regarded differently in different cultures throughout the world, and thus humorous texts vary immensely throughout various parts of the world. Therefore, the act of translation – adapting a text into a different language and thus a different culture – seems to be a difficult challenge when regarding humorous texts.
An extra challenge translators have to face is when these humorous texts occur in an audiovisual environment. The translation of sitcoms or comedic films usually happens through dubbing or subtitling – although there are other options – depending on the location and the usual traditions of the target country. With either dubbing or subtitling, new problems arise when translating a humorous text: one has to take into consideration either the wording in relation to the moving of the mouth (dubbing), or the amount of information one can display on a screen in just a few seconds (subtitling).
In addition to that, even more challenges arise when the audiovisual text in question is a cabaret show performed by a comedian. These shows, especially when performed by a local comedian who is famous in the country in which the show is performed, usually talk about concepts that are very culture specific. These concepts can be celebrities, politics, or typical traditions found in that particular culture, and more. The most obvious question a translator then faces is the issue of translating, and thus adapting these culture specific items to the target culture, or not: either option will have positive and negative effects at the same time. The option of adapting a culture specific item to the target culture in question will be more probable to cause the audience to understand the content, whereas it might be taken
completely out of context, which will cause the humorous effect to be lost. Keeping the culture specific item in its original context will prevent this from happening, but might cause the target audience not to understand and therefore the humorous effect will still be lost.
The main question regarding this topic is therefore: How can this kind of humorous audiovisual text be translated in a way that the target culture will understand and will appreciate the humor? This question will be the main topic of this thesis. Analyzing a self-made translation to English of a cabaret show performed by a Dutch comedian in Dutch, this thesis will discuss the options and challenges present when translating such a text.
1.1 Audiovisual translation
There are many ways of translating an audiovisual text even besides subtitling, such as voice-over or dubbing. This paper will only focus on subtitling, as there are already many things to say about this specific kind of translation. There is a number of variations in subtitling. Some might categorize these forms differently and state that not all of them can be called subtitling, as the variation between these different forms is too great – I will categorize them as similar forms of all subtitling, as they all refer to written screen on text to support the audio in an audiovisual text. Radochová (2012) follows Jeremy Munday in categorizing the variations of subtitling as follows:
Interlingual subtitling – this is perhaps the most common form of subtitling
throughout the world. It involves written text on the screen, usually the lower part of the screen, in a different language than the original audio, to accompany whatever is said on the audio. Interlingual subtitling is always in a different language than the source audio, as this is the definition of the word “interlingual”.
Bilingual subtitling – this type of subtitling involves showing written text on the screen in two languages. This often happens in bilingual countries such as Belgium (where Dutch and French are both spoken) and these subtitles show the two languages at the same time.
Intralingual subtitling – the term “intralingual” basically stands for subtitling which does not change the language of the original audio file, and thus it is a literal
transposition of the audio on to the screen.
Surtitling – Surtitles have often been used with live shows in theaters, to support the understanding of the audience. The text is usually portrayed above the stage or on the back of the seats in the theater, and could therefore be regarded a form of subtitling as well. (Radochova, 12-13)
This is just a short selection of the many ways in which audiovisual translation is carried out in modern times, and this only refers to the technical options this type of translation has to offer: besides the physical aspect, there is much than can be said—and has been said—about the translational and thus theoretical aspect of audiovisual translation.
Chaume accurately describes the idea of audiovisual translation and its surrounding issues: “An audiovisual text is a semiotic construct comprising several signifying codes that operate simultaneously in the production of meaning. […] Its typology, the way it is
organised and the meaning of all its elements results in a semantic structure that the spectator deconstructs in order to understand the meaning of the text. What interests the translator is knowing the functioning of each of these codes, and the possible incidence of all signs, linguistic and non-linguistic, within a translation” (Chaume, 2004). This short quote already points out many problems an audiovisual translator will face in the process. As an
audiovisual text makes up much more than just linguistic code, the translator will need to keep in mind that they are not only transferring linguistic elements to another language, but also visual signs as well as sounds. This does not refer to the literal transposition of image and sound in the means that they need to be described of course, but it does weigh in in translator’s decisions about how to translate certain words or which information to omit from the subtitles. For example, a film character being very emotional while uttering a sentence might cause a linguist to translate this in a certain way as to preserve the emotions in the subtitles, even though it is written text. This is just one example of how important it is to take everything into account when translating an audiovisual text, as it takes much effort on the translator’s part to comprehend all the different signs in order to grasp the overall meaning of the original text.
Having noted some of the issues concerning audiovisual translation in general, the next paragraph will discuss the specific issues that arise with subtitling as a form of audiovisual translation.
1.2 The constraints of subtitling
An obvious but interesting point to raise when regarding translation in subtitling, is the fact that the translation is not only interlingual, but intersemiotic as well. As the source text is mostly spoken text on a screen, the translation transforms it into written text displayed on the screen. This can already cause problems and challenges on the translator’s part: spoken words can be performed and regarded very differently than written text, and therefore the translator has to make sure the written text resembles the spoken text as closely as possible. This means that the translator has to pay specific attention to the tone and register of the spoken source text, and try to mimic this as closely as possible in the translation. For example, a film in which a certain character has a very strong accent, which contributes to the character’s personality and thus perception of the audience, will be difficult to translate as an accent is usually not portrayed in written text. However, because of the heavy accent’s contribution to the personality and image of the character, the subtitles will have to get that across in some way, as otherwise a great part of the character will be lost. This is just one example of many
issues that can occur in this respect.
Another very constraining issue about subtitling audiovisual texts is the rules implied by the media. Linguists that create subtitles for any kind of audiovisual content will have to adhere to a specific set of rules – these rules vary throughout cultures, but always address the same problems with technique and timing. Subtitling rules are imposed by almost every major media company in the world, as it has been claimed that without adhering to these kind of rules, the subtitling would interfere with the audience’s perception and understanding of the source text. Karamitroglou (1998) states that “[l]arge satellite companies around the continent have already stressed the need for a unifying code of subtitling practices, a code that would enable them to reach the various individual country audiences through a unique
set of subtitling standards that would not violate the already established conventions within
the various countries” (ibid: 1).
In other words, companies have stressed the need for one set of rules that will be adhered to, in order to have the different versions throughout the world not cause too much confusion on the linguists’ part. In their paper, Karamitroglou describes this extensive set of rules, which will be explained below. As this list is quite elaborate, a shortened version will be given in order to illustrate the major constraints to look out for when subtitling, especially the ones that apply to the kind of translation that will be analyzed in this paper.
Karamitroglou stresses that “[t]he general practice of the production and layout of TV subtitles should be guided by the aim to provide maximum appreciation and comprehension of the target film as a whole by maximising the legibility and readability of the inserted subtitled text” (ibid; 2). The general idea of their proposed set of rules has been divided into four categories. They can be found below:
Spatial parameter / layout
o Subtitles should always be placed at the bottom part of the screen, as to maximize the part of the image that the audience can still see clearly. In order to not cause the audience to be unable to see an important part of the image, subtitling should also always show a maximum of two lines, so as to not take up a large part of the screen.
o To make reading the subtitling easier on the viewer’s eye, subtitles should be placed in the middle of the lower part of the screen, as this is often the position in which the most action of the image takes place. In that respect, the viewer will not have to make the effort to look elsewhere to read the subtitles.
o Although trying not to omit any important parts from the source text, subtitles should consist of about 35 characters per line, thus approximately 70 per subtitles shown in each instance. No more than 40 characters should be used per line, as this will heavily decrease the audience’s ability to read, because of too much content and the font being too small.
Temporal parameter / duration
o According to the calculated average reading speed of the average viewer, the average time one instance of subtitles consisting of two lines should appear on screen is about 5½ seconds, according to Karamitroglou. Calculating in the average time it takes for the brain to realize that the subtitles have to be read, an extra half of a second should be added, so the total maximum time of the two-line instance appearing on screen should be about 6 seconds.
For single-line instances this would be about 3½ seconds, as the brain will not read this as fast as two-line instances. The amount of text appearing on the screen will not be enough to trigger the brain into reading faster and thus the time on screen for a single-line instance should be relatively longer.
For a single-word subtitle, the duration would be exactly 1½ seconds. Less time would cause the viewer to not be able to read the text and just experience the subtitle as a flash on the screen, whereas more time would cause the viewer to perhaps read the subtitles again, especially if a fast reader. This is also an unwanted effect.
o As for the synchronization of subtitling with audio; subtitles should never appear simultaneously with the initiation of the spoken text. The written text should always appear on screen ¼ second after the audio has started, as the brain will be confused if both initiate at the same time.
Consecutive subtitles cannot appear directly after one another, but at least ¼ second should be between one instance and the other. If this rule is not applied, it will cause the “overlay”-effect: the viewer’s eye will not notice that there is a new instance of subtitles and perceive it as the same as the preceding one. Punctuation and letter case
o Triple dots: these should be used to indicate a sentence being broken up in two or more parts and thus spread out over two or more instances of subtitling. The first part of the sentence should end the instance of subtitling lines with triple
dots, with no space between these dots and the last word. The next instance should then start with these triple dots, followed directly by the next word with no space and no capitalization of the first letter.
Because these triple dots are used so frequently to indicate a broken sentence, the more common use of these dots in written text should be avoided – thus, to indicate an unfinished utterance or thoughts.
o Full stop (period): The full stop should be used only to indicate the end of a completed sentence, which then triggers the brain that the subtitling instance has finished and the focus can go back to the screen.
o Question marks and exclamation points: these symbols should be used just like in printed material to indicate a question or emphasis, with no space between the word and the symbol.
o Upper- and lower-case letters: capitalization is used just as in printed materials; the beginning of a sentence, names and places should be capitalized as if they were written text on paper. Sentences and words in only capitals should be used to indicate the translation of written text on screen, e.g. a sign in the image.
Target text editing
o Single line or two lines: a long single-line instance of subtitles should ideally always be broken up into two lines, as this will trigger the viewer’s brain into reading faster, as two lines seem to consist of more text.
On the other hand, one line of subtitles should never consist of more than one full sentence. This will make the screen look cluttered. Therefore, multiple sentences should always be broken up into two lines.
o Segmentation: ideally, one line should consist of one sentence. If a sentence has to be broken up into two lines, it should be segmented according to the syntax of that sentence, thus the phrases (noun phrase, verb phrase etc.) should remain intact.
If a sentence is broken up into two lines, these lines should also be as similar in length as possible, as well as respecting the separate phrases in the sentence. o Length of spoken words and subtitles: the length of the written subtitles and
spoken text should be about the same, as otherwise this will confuse the viewer and make the subtitles seem less realistic.
o Omissions: as a rule, only the linguistic items that are of no particular contribution to the information conveyed can be omitted. As for the rest, usually these decisions are made on an instance-specific basis, as every instance of subtitling is different and needs a different approach. It can be said that these linguistic items are on the bottom of the chain when it comes to relevance or importance and therefore they can be omitted if necessary:
Padding expressions such as “you know”, “well”, “as I say”
Tautological cumulative adjectives/adverbs such as “great big”, “super extra”, “teeny weeny”
Responsive expressions such as “yes”, “no”, “ok”, “please”, “thank you”
There are also linguistic items that should never be omitted from subtitles. As many people would not expect, these actually include proper nouns, even though they are mostly written the same across languages and cultures. These should actually be translated word for word, as the subtitles will not be rendered “authentic” if they are omitted. This is because inherently, the viewer’s brain looks for recognizable points in the subtitles that match the source audio, and if these items are left out, the viewer will get confused and perhaps think the subtitles do not correspond to the source audio.
o Altering syntactic structures: this might happen often and can in fact enhance the readability and conciseness of the translated text. A sentence that is quite grammatically complex in the source audio can be simplified in the subtitles to facilitate the viewer’s reading.
o Rendering dialects: dialects should not be shown as phonetic transcriptions, as this is not immediately recognizable and will therefore confuse the viewer. o Taboo words: no censoring of taboo words, unless they are repeated multiple
times, which then falls under the category of omission of unimportant linguistic items.
o Culture-specific elements: attempting to establish fixed rules or guidelines for the translation of these elements in subtitling would be almost impossible. Karamitroglou lists 5 possible solutions for the translation of these items:
Cultural transfer: replacing the culture-specific element with another element that is specific to the target culture, in order to “transfer” the culture
Transposition: not making any changes to the source text in terms of culture, keeping the culture-specific element as it is
Transposition with explanation: transferring the cultural element in its original form, but accompanied by a short explanation, for example in brackets following the term
Neutralisation: changing the culture-specific element but not
transferring it to the target culture: making it more specific to in a way “explain” it to the target culture
Omission: taking the culture-specific item out of the text and thus ignoring it in translation
(summarized from Karamitroglou; 1998)
In short, looking at these numerous rules and guidelines to follow when translating an audiovisual text through subtitling, one can easily see that this is not the easiest task. In addition to that, one might conclude from this that subtitling a humorous audiovisual text might be an even more daunting task, considering the enormous cultural load in these types of texts. This is what the next paragraph will touch upon.
1.3 Humor in translation
As many scholars have noted, the translation of humorous instances can be quite tricky as it involves not only linguistic elements. Vandaele (2002) notes that humor is very difficult to accurately define and therefore many simply decide to not even try. He attempts to define humor along the lines of translational equivalence, as this term is defined as having more to do with the effect of the utterance rather than the linguistic elements on the surface: “For our purposes, it would seem that humour can indeed be readily recast as a humorous effect and, hence, translating humour would come down to achieving the ‘same humorous effect’ (ibid: 151). Thus, if one were to adhere to Vandaele’s words, translating humor is not so much about translating the content of the utterance as it is about trying to achieve the same effect with a different audience in a different setting.
Vandaele goes on to describe humor and attempts to deconstruct it through a form of discourse analysis. He defines humor as a series of incongruities, thus elements—either linguistic or non-linguistic—that do not seem to fit together in a ‘normal’ situation. As an example, Vandaele (1994) mentions a joke about a bishop making a sexual remark (240). It excellently shows two factors that are not typically associated with each other, which causes
the humorous effect. This notion of incongruities could in a certain manner be compared to Raphaelson-West’s (1989) division of jokes into three categories:
Universal jokes Cultural jokes Linguistic jokes
(ibid: 130)
Raphaelson-West defines the first category as the kind of joke that has a humorous effect all over the world and is not culturally bound – this is the ‘unexpected’ factor. Although this category might then compare to Vandaele’s incongruities as they both denote the unexpected factor causing the humorous effect, it could be said that all three of Raphaelson-West’s categories carry some aspect of the ‘unexpected’ in them. For example, linguistic jokes are often based on wordplay or puns, which are very unexpected to the audience’s ears as well.
Zabalbeascoa (2005) divides humor into various forms of jokes and along the lines of these categories tries to use mapping in order to be able to find the right translation for each type of joke. He states that coming up with as many suitable variables as possible will help think of the most accurate translation. He notes that this ultimately depends on the context, and that having the possibility to choose from so many variables might even be the problem itself: “[W]hen translating humor we need to know where humor stands as a priority and what restrictions stand in the way of fulfilling the intended goals […]. The complexity of translation, then, arises from the range of possible combinations of so many variables. Priorities and restrictions may change considerably from translation to translation and even between the translation and its source text” (ibid: 201). Thus, although trying to create a theory for the translation of humor in different contexts, many scholars seem to admit that there often is no better way to approach the translation of humor than on a case-by-case basis.
1.4 Translating Theo Maassen’s Zonder Pardon
Theo Maassen is a Dutch comedian, most well known in the Netherlands. At his current age of 47, he has performed and published several theater shows since the start of his career in 1993. However mainly being known as a comedian, he has also starred in a few films by Dutch film producers and even produced his own film, which came out in the Netherlands in 2008. Although being known as a comedian, some of the films he produces or stars in are of a quite serious nature.
characterized by dark humor – even though it is comedy, it is filled with serious ideas and opinions on the world around him. One of Maassen’s strongest points is sarcasm: saying one thing he usually means the complete opposite, and this is the point in which the audience needs to see through his sometimes harsh personality to grasp the true meaning of what he is trying to convey. Giselinde Kuipers excellently comments on this when talking about ethnic humor and Dutch comedians: “Hoewel zowel Teeuwen en Maassen zich […] hullen in een nogal dommig personage, lijkt het toch niet echt mogelijk er een ‘boodschap’ uit af te leiden. Maar op deze manier kan etnische humor zelfs een anti-racistische inzet krijgen” (Kuipers; 197). This is, as most people claim, exactly the goal that Maassen is trying to achieve: by shocking the audience with extreme racist and seemingly ignorant remarks, he makes the audience think critically about the issues he raises – even though these extreme remarks and opinions uttered by him are not genuine.
Some of the jokes made during Maassen’s performances have raised heated debates about the boundaries of humor and whether or not comedians are allowed to make cruel jokes to the point where people can get hurt. Gunter Lamoot claims that this should be allowed: “Er zullen altijd mensen gekwetst zijn en ik begrijp dat. Statistisch kun je daar niet onderuit, maar als je rekening houdt met statistiek, kun je niets meer zeggen. Maak je een grap over kanker, dan is de kans erg groot dat er mensen gekwetst zijn. Bijna iedereen krijgt op de een of andere manier met kanker te maken, maar moet je daarom een goede grap laten liggen?” (Lamoot).
The show of which the translation will be discussed in this thesis is Maasen’s 2009 show called Zonder Pardon. During this show, one of the main topics Maassen discussed is the fact that he recently became a father. Besides this, he discusses many political topics as well and gives his honest and very often blunt opinion about them as usual.
During the process of the audiovisual translation of part of Theo Maassen’s show, the problems expected to occur most often are obviously related to the combination of humor and audiovisual translation. As humor in written translation often tends to be more extensive in the target language than in the source language, because there will be more words needed to explain the core of the original joke, this can cause a problem related to the spatial and timing constraints of subtitling. Therefore, it can be expected that much information will need to be omitted, which will cause loss of linguistic information that might be important. The manner in which this process was handled will be explained in the next chapter.
2. Method
As this project involves a type of audiovisual translation, the translation itself is a video file with subtitles attached. This subtitled video will count as the actual translation, but this thesis will show the transcription of the video along with the translated subtitles in table form, in order to analyse the original text and accompanied translation accurately.
2.1 Materials used
The video file used is one of Theo Maassen’s most recent shows called Zonder Pardon, performed on the 17th of September 2009 in the Oude Luxor theater in Rotterdam. The video was taken from a broadcast, which was shown on national television in the Netherlands on the 2nd of January 2010. The video file was in .mkv format and because this format is difficult to work with in editing programs, it was converted into .mp4 format using the free software Any Video Converter, which can be downloaded from the internet.
The subtitles for the video were created using the free software Subtitle Edit, which can also be downloaded on the internet. Time codings and the actual translation were inserted into this programme, which then creates a subtitling file in .srt format. After having chosen the right encoding for the .srt file to ensure symbols such as the Euro sign would be displayed correctly, as the wrong encoding can cause special symbols like these to be displayed as random punctuation marks. Once having completed the translation in the subtitle editor, the video was put back through the free software Any Video Converter, where the .srt file with the subtitles was added and thus both files were merged into one as an .mp4 file with integrated subtitles.
2.2 Translation
Firstly, the video file was transcribed onto paper and the text was put in a table, divided into segments according to time coding and sentences. The transcription of this text was then used to create the initial translation, while trying to keep in mind that the translated text would eventually be used in subtitles – thus already translating in such a way that the text would resemble subtitling.
As previously mentioned, the proposed set of rules for subtitling created by Karamitroglou (1998) has been used as guidance when creating the subtitles for this
audiovisual text. Although many rules and guidelines proposed by Karamitroglou were quite straightforward, they showed to be rather difficult to respect with this translation, and it turned out that the translation process took much more effort than anticipated. As has been
noted previously, decisions on how to translate culture specific items are often made on a case to case basis and depend on the context and the translator in question. This has also been done with this translation, since some contexts allow for more freedom on the translator’s part whereas others do not.
The next chapter will show the transcription of the Dutch text of Zonder Pardon along with the English translation in subtitles, accompanied by a detailed analysis.
3. Translation and analysis
This section will show the transcription of part of Theo Maassen’s show Zonder Pardon along with its translation in subtitles. The actual video with subtitles can be watched through the video file attached. The text in the left column is the written text in Dutch, which has been transcribed as precisely as possible, showing repetitions of words and fillers such as “uhm” and sighs, to portray Theo Maassen’s manner of speaking as accurately as possible. The text in the right column shows the translation of the transcription as shown in the subtitles in the video file. The text has been divided into multiple segments, in order to analyze and discuss the translation and choices sufficiently.
Omissions of repetitions and filler words as well as the use of certain punctuation marks will be discussed only once, so as to not cause too much repetition in the analysis since these details occur many times in the translation. The English uses abbreviations of phrases such as “it’s”, “I’m” and “you’re”, not just to make the subtitles shorter but also to get the right tone of voice as Theo Maassen is using. Maassen is very colloquial in his use of language, has a slightly southern accent and comes off as very blunt. As this cannot be replicated in the subtitles as accurately as one would want, it has been made sure that the English language used is not too formal.
3.1 Theo Maassen’s Zonder Pardon
This part consists of only on-screen text and has been translated in the subtitles. The first two instances are shown in the introduction bit of the show, in capital letters. These capital letters have not been transferred onto the subtitling, as this might cause them to look chaotic. The third segment appears right before the curtains open in a somewhat “subtitle” form, but as “Oude Luxor” might not mean anything to non-Dutch speakers, this text has been transferred onto the subtitling as well. “Oude Luxor” has been kept as it is a proper name, but the word “theater” has been added to make clear that this is referring to the location where the show
4. [On-screen text] 5. THEO MAASSEN [On-screen text] Theo Maassen [On-screen text] ZONDER PARDON [On-screen text] No Mercy [On-screen text]
Oude Luxor, Rotterdam 17 september 2009
[On-screen text]
Oude Luxor Theater, Rotterdam 17 September 2009
was performed.
The title of Maassen’s show is a typical Dutch expression and is often translated to English as an adjective or adverb: “unceremonious(ly)”. As this would not be a very suitable word to just use as the title of a show, a somewhat more creative translation has been used. “No Mercy” conveys somewhat the same information as the Dutch does and sounds better than the literal translation.
[Applause] Ja! Dankjewel, dankjewel! Hallo Rotterdam,
hallo Rotterdam.
Thank you. Hello Rotterdam. Zit daar nou iemand voor de tweede keer met
een fototoestel te flitsen? Did someone just take a picture again? Zag jij dat ook, Marco, of niet? Ben ik gek?
Did you see that, Marco? Or am I wrong? Ja, ik doe... Dan doen wij, ah godverdomme,
eh, zullen we effe opnieuw eh... Wat is dit, is dit nou iemand die totaal niet snapt hoe het werkt?
Dat soort volk.
Well, can we… Damn.
Should we just start over? What is this? Don’t you know that this isn’t allowed?
Idiot.
Filler words, like “ja” in the second segment of this part have been left out in the subtitling. If needed, the word could have been inserted into the subtitles as there is enough room for it, but as it is not completely necessary and adding the word would add useless information which would probably not be appreciated by the viewer. For the same reason, the repetition of “dankjewel” has been left out of the subtitles.
In the third segment, the sentence has been rephrased in order to make it shorter to fit the subtitling. It could be said that it has been made more explicit as well, as “met een fototoestel flitsen” has been translated to “take a picture”. The last segment contains many filler words and hesitations, as this is a part in which Theo seems confused. As these
hesitation words would seem sloppy and confusing to the viewer, they have been left out. The only indicator to show that Theo is not completely sure of what to say is the three dots at the end of “can we”. As Karamitroglou (1998) noted, these triple dots should only be used to indicate that the sentence is not complete and it will continue on the next instance of subtitles
(ibid: 4-5). She notes that a simple unfinished utterance should not be indicated by triple dots, but it has been done here. As it is not the ending of the subtitles and the next word is
immediately shown, this will not cause any confusion on the viewer’s part.
Lastly, “dat soort volk” has been translated to “idiot”, as this would be a catchier phrase then a literal translation such as “those people” or “that kind of people”. As the audience laughs after Theo Maassen utters this phrase, the translation needs to be catchy as well, as the target audience needs to understand that this is meant to be laughed at.
Dat vind ik het mooie van dieren. That’s what I like about animals. Dieren die niet snappen hoe het werkt, dat valt
automatisch af.
Animals that don’t know how the world works don’t survive. Maar wij hebben verzorgingsstaten waardoor
we dat soort zwakke exemplaren in leven houden.
But we live in a welfare state, and keep those weak creatures alive.
En ja, in plaats van dat die zich koest houden en dankbaar zijn, zijn dat godverdomme nog de
mensen waar ik het meest last van heb van allemaal.
And instead of being grateful… …those people cause me the most problems.
In this part as well as the previous and the next part, Theo Maassen tends to use the phrase “hoe het werkt” very often. This does not literally translate into English, and therefore it has been translated in different ways according to the context throughout this section. In this particular section it has been translated to “how the world works” as this is most suitable for the sentence.
The last segment of this part contains a very long sentence, which has been broken up into two subtitle instances as otherwise the text would be shown on screen for too long. However, as one instance is followed by the other quite quickly, the length of both instances cannot be too great either. This is why the two single-line instances have been kept quite short and some of the original content has been omitted, such as “koest houden”, which is not very important information in this context – “koest houden en dankbaar zijn” can be
interpreted as belonging together.
Hè, en als ik naar boven klim en ik pak dat toestel af en ik smijt het kapot, dan ben ík de
hufter.
And if I walk off the stage and smash the camera… …then I’m the asshole.
Ja, ik heb vaker zo’n akkefietje aan de hand
Toen heb ik een toestel kapot gegooid, blijkt ie achteraf 15.000 euro te kosten.
I smashed a camera that turned out to cost €15,000. Vijftien duizend, man! Ik wist niet dat je zulke
dure wegwerpcamera’s had.
€15,000. I didn’t know
disposable cameras could cost that much.
This part accurately shows that English needs fewer words to convey the same message than Dutch does. The translation of the first segments maintains all the original content. The translation could have fit into two lines of subtitles at once, but as Theo Maassen hesitates before he utters the last part, it has been split into two. This also enhances the effect of the joke as it can only be seen at the very moment that Theo says this – if the sentence had been packed into one two-line subtitle, the viewer would have probably read the joke before it had been said on screen.
The last segment is quite tricky to translate, as the term “wegwerpcamera’s” makes the joke very explicit and easy for the viewer to understand – it literally means “camera to throw away”. With the term “throw away” Maassen refers to the fact that he smashed the camera into the ground. “Disposable cameras” is the literal translation of this term, and does not have the inherent meaning of literally throwing something away. However, the term still implies that the camera was “thrown away” and thus keeps the effect of the joke intact, although less explicit.
Maar goed, ik doe effe... effe voordat we weer begi... Ik wil effe weten van, is dit nou... Wat is dit nou? Is dit iemand die echt niet snapt hoe
het werkt?
But before we start over, I just want to know… What is this?
You really don’t know how it works? Of is dit iemand die wel snapt hoe het werkt
maar die er eigenlijk gewoon schijt aan heeft?
Or do you know, but just don’t give a shit? Ja, de enige andere optie die ik kan bedenken
is dat mijn technicus een apparaat heeft opgehangen en dat ik met hem heb afgesproken dat als ik zo doe [Theo strikes a pose, there is another flash] dat er dan een flits gaat, dat is dan ook wel heel... kinderachtig vind
ik.
The only other thing I can think of is that my technician has a device…
…and that when I do this a flash goes off. That’s just immature. Hé, Rotterdam.
The first segment of this part shows the first occurrence in which Karamitroglou’s subtitling method has not been adhered to. She notes that “[b]ecause of their particular function as
signifiers of sentence incompleteness, the use of ‘sequence dots’ to simply indicate ongoing thoughts or an unfinished utterance by the speaker should be considerable restricted” (ibid: 4-5). This has been done throughout the entire show, as there is probably no other way of indicating an unfinished sentence.
The sentence could have been left out, but in many instances this meant that Theo would be speaking for quite a while without any subtitling, and the viewer would feel as if they are missing something. Moreover, even without any knowledge of the Dutch language, the viewer might already notice that Theo can’t find the words to say what he wants to say and therefore assumed it is an unfinished utterance. Every other instance in which the sequence dots have been used in this way is because of these reasons.
The third instance is a very long sentence and has therefore been cut short as well as spread over two subtitles. The information “dat ik met hem heb afgesproken” is the most redundant information in this sentence and has therefore been left out. The last segment “Hé, Rotterdam” has been completely left out, as it does not provide any useful information for the viewer and it follows the previous subtitle quite shortly, thus it might cause the time for the screening of the subtitles to be too short.
Heb jij... Heb jij je... je telefoon uit staan? Oké, dankjewel. Effe, de telefoon, eh...
Did you switch off your phone? Okay, thanks.
Those phones. Ja ik vraag het expres effe hier (wijst naar
persoon), ehm...
I deliberately asked you, because… Ik speelde een tijdje geleden, toen speelde ik
ergens en toen ging midden tijdens de voorstelling gaat er een, precies daar gaat er een telefoon af, en in plaats van dat die jongen
schrikt en ‘m uit drukt, pakt ie ‘m op, en die begint gewoon doodleuk te bellen.
…a while ago, I was doing a show… ...during the show, in that spot,
a phone went off. And instead of quickly turning it off… …the boy picks up the phone
and just starts talking. Ik hoor ‘m gewoon zeggen van: “Ja, ik zit bij
een voorstelling van Theo Maassen.”
I could hear him say: “I’m at Theo Maassen’s show.” Aan de andere kant werd iets gevraagd, wat hij
antwoordde met: “Mwoah, gaat wel.”
The person on the other line asked something…
and he answered: “It’s alright.” Ik heb ‘m kapotgemaakt, ik heb ‘m vernietigd,
dat was een jongetje van 16 jaar. Thomas, heette die.
I wrecked that kid. 16 years old. His name was Thomas. Kapotgemaakt, die jongen, 16 man, ik had je
vader kunnen zijn, ja.
Wrecked him. 16 years old, I could have been your father. Maar je moeder wou per sé dat ik in ‘r mond
klaarkwam. Ja.
But your mother insisted that I came in her mouth. Ah gênant man, die ouders bleken d’r bij te
zitten, dat was...
That was awkward.
His parents were sitting next to him. Die vader was een boom van een kerel, die kon
er gelukkig om lachen, maar goed die... Die dacht dat het een geintje was.
The father was huge. Good thing he found it funny.
He thought I was joking.
The next part shows quite a few long sentences uttered by Maassen. However, as he does not speak very slowly in this part, most of the content has been maintained and spread over multiple subtitles. “Mwoah, gaat wel” has been translated to “It’s alright”, leaving out the “mwoah”, as this is universal and can be understood by English speakers as well. Leaving this term in would cause redundancy.
Additionally, the expression “een boom van een kerel” does not transfer very well into English, and has thus been made slightly more explicit by translating it to “the father was huge”. Although it is not as figurative, the term still holds the same kind of tone of voice as the original expression.
Ik weet niet wat het is, man, ik heb altijd, of dat nou aan mij ligt... Ik heb altijd van die
akkefietjes.
I don’t know why, but I always get into trouble like that. Laatst ook. Ik loop over straat, en iemand die
komt mij tegemoet.
It happened the other day. I was walking down the street,
and…
…and I saw someone walking in my direction.
En ik, ik doe niets. Echt niet, niks! I didn’t do anything. Really, nothing. Ja, ik kijk ‘m aan, da’s alles. Maar blijkbaar te
lang. Er was meteen mot.
I just looked at him. For too long, apparently. He wasn’t happy with me. Ik denk, ja jongen als jij ziet dat ik jou aankijk,
kijk jij mij ook aan, en kunnen we die twee dingen niet gewoon tegen mekaar wegstrepen?
But if you can see me looking at you, you’re looking at me as well.
Don’t those two things just rule each other out? Nou nee, niet bepaald, het was meteen
(buitenlands acccent) “wat is jouw probleem?”
Not exactly. Right away, he said: “What’s your problem?” Ik zeg, nou, ik denk dat ik als kind heel vaak
verhuisd ben.
I said: “Well, I think I moved house too often as a kid.”
In this part, the term “akkefietjes” has been replaced by “get into trouble like that” in English. The word “akkefietje” does not have a direct equivalent in English and cannot be used in the same context as it is used in the Dutch, therefore this option was used. The same goes for the expression “er was meteen mot”. In English, this expression cannot be used in the same fluent way as Maassen uses it, and therefore it has been changed to say something else in English while simultaneously conveying somewhat the same meaning: “he wasn’t happy”. In the next segment, the Dutch expression “tegen elkaar wegstrepen” has a direct equivalent in English which can be used in this context as well: “rule each other out”.
The second last segment has Theo Maassen talking with a “foreign” accent – he imitates a Turkish or Moroccan accent, and therefore tries to impersonate a male teenager or young adult of this descent. This accent cannot be portrayed in the subtitle without looking odd, and therefore the sentence is displayed in standard language. The viewer will be able to get the aggressive tone that Maassen is trying to convey by his body language and way of speaking, as well as the volume.
Hè, maar wat zijn dat, wat is dat man, die korte lontjes. Dat opgefokt sfeertje.
What’s up with the short fuses? Such a worked up atmosphere. Het gaat toch van kwaad tot erger. And it goes from bad to worse. Hè, ambulance-personeel wordt belaagd,
politieagenten worden aangevallen door hooligans, het is toch van incident naar incident.
Paramedics getting harassed, hooligans attacking police officers.
It just goes on and on. Wat dat betreft heeft Frans Bauer de vinger op
de zere plek gelegd toen die zong “Er is altijd wel wat, dan weer dit en dan weer dat”, ik denk
ja!
When I was little, my mother used to say: “I can never get some rest, there’s always something going on.” Ja, dat is wel wat er op dit moment aan de hand
is in Nederland.
That’s exactly what’s going on with the Netherlands right now.
The first segment of this part has two expressions in it, which might seem difficult to translate at first. However, it turns out that the expression “korte lontjes” has a direct
equivalent in English: “short fuses”, which means exactly the same. The term “opgefokt” is a little more tricky to translate into English, as it is a widely used term in Dutch which does not have a direct English equivalent. The closes equivalent to this term would be “worked up”, which has about the same meaning as the original term.
An interesting point to raise is the translation in the second last segment, which contains a culture specific item that cannot easily be transferred to English. Therefore, it has been substituted for content that is somewhat more general. It does not refer to a specific English person – this content could work in both cultures. The original refers to a song by Frans Bauer, who is a Dutch artist who produces music that cannot be taken very seriously – his work is considered to be quite bad. This is why Maassen’s joke has an effect: he talks about a very serious topic and then refers to Frans Bauer’s somewhat silly lyrics to make his point. The English translation has preserved some of this effect, as it refers to his mother who complains about not getting any rest, which is also quite silly in relation to the discussion that Theo Maassen has started.
Wat is er gebeurd met ons kouwe kikkerlandje? What happened to our peaceful little nation? Ik snap ook wel dat al die problemen die d’r zijn,
dat die niet ophouden bij onze landsgrenzen.
I understand that all this is not just happening in our country. Nee man, het zijn niet alleen de poolkappen, de
hele westerse beschaving brokkelt af.
It’s not just the ice caps, the entire Western civilization is melting. ‘t Is niet echt een probleempje waar we mee te
kampen hebben, ’t is een clusterbombardement aan problemen.
It’s not just one little problem. It’s a bombardment of problems. Hè, klimaat, krediet, energie, integratie,
voedsel, ’t is één grote crisis.
The climate, economy, energy, immigration, food…
It’s a big crisis.
This part contains quite a few segments with which it was possible to translate quite literally, as many of the words had direct equivalents and Maassen did not speak to fast, which is not expected with a comedy show – thus not much content had to be omitted. The only term that has been changed somewhat regarding content is the term “brokkelt af” in relation to the ice caps and the Western civilization. As in English, one often refers to the fact that the ice caps are “melting”, not breaking, or any other verb in that sense. Therefore, the verb “melting” has been used in the English, as it goes well with the idea that the Western civilization is “melting” as well.
Crisis. Ik heb opgezocht in het woordenboek: crisis.
Crisis.
I looked it up in the dictionary. In Van Dale Grote Woordenboek der
Nederlandse Taal staat bij crisis, staat: “toestand waarin oude leefgewoonten ontoereikend zijn voor een harmonieuze
oplossing van gerezen problemen.”
In the official dictionary, the definition of crisis is:
Situation in which issues have arisen… …that can only be resolved by making a drastic change. Oftewel, hoe wij leven, dat moet anders. En, ik
heb het altijd gezegd, het moet anders.
In other words:
we need to change the way we live. I’ve been saying it forever.
We need to change. En daarom schrik ik zo dat ze tijdens zo’n
kredietcrisis, in plaats van dat ze het anders gaan doen, gaan ze wanhopig in stand proberen te houden, gaan ze geld verstrekken
aan bankiers.
That’s why it scares me that instead of making a change…
…they desperately try to keep things as they are. They start giving extra money
to bankers. Ik denk kom op, dat zijn toch juist de
Dat is zoiets als Viagra verstrekken aan pedofielen.
It’s the same as giving Viagra to pedophiles.
En dan wil ik in deze vergelijking, wil ik het nog opnemen voor de pedofiel.
Although pedophiles are not even as bad as bankers. Hè, pedofielen kunnen er uiteindelijk niks aan
doen.
In the end, it’s not their fault. Kinderen kunnen nou eenmaal het bloed onder
je nagels vandaan halen.
Sometimes children just make your blood boil. En ja, als dat bloed dan rechtstreeks naar je
zwellichamen gaat.
And for pedophiles, that blood just goes straight to their genitals.
The first part of this section talks about an object that can be considered a culture specific item: the Van Dale Grote Woordenboek der Nederlandse Taal. This is one of the most
prominent dictionaries in the Netherlands and is most often consulted for language issues. As an English person might not know about the existence of this specific dictionary, the term has been generalized in English to say “official dictionary”. The definition that Maassen “reads” out loud has also been changed somewhat to be able to fit over two subtitles, but to still convey the same meaning.
A very Dutch expression that Maassen mentions here is the phrase “het moet anders”. This cannot be translated to English literally, as it is a very Dutch saying. That’s why it has to be changed to say “we need to change”, which is about as short as the original and therefore it is just as catchy as the Dutch phrase.
The segment in which Maassen utters the sentence “dat zijn toch juist de klootzakken” needed to be translated in such a way that it would trigger a laugh from the target audience as well, as it can be noticed that the way he utters this phrase makes the audience laugh. This sentence could have been translated literally, but because of the previously mentioned reason, “klootzakken” has been replaced by “the bad guys”.
The second last segment contains another Dutch expression: “het bloed onder je
nagels vandaan halen”. This expression is used when one is particularly annoying to someone. As this expression does not have a direct equivalent in English, another phrase had to be found containing the aspect of blood, as this is used to finish the joke in the following segment. This is why the expression “make your blood boil” has been used in this section.
Maar het moet, echt geloof me, willen wij als soort overleven, dan moeten we het vanaf nu
radicaal anders doen.
But really, if we want to survive…
…we have to make some radical changes. En je hebt ook mensen die zeggen “we moeten
de planeet redden”, da’s bullshit.
And some people say that we have to ‘save our planet’.
That’s bullshit. Die planeet, die redt zich wel hoor, die planeet.
Die planeet, die lacht in z’n vuistje.
Our planet will be fine. It’s actually laughing at us. Man, die hele opwarming van het klimaat is
voor de planeet zelf geen probleem, hoor.
Global warming is a problem for us, not for the planet.
Integendeel, da’s een oplossing.
On the contrary, It’s the solution to a problem. Zoals koorts, de opwarming van het menselijk
lichaam, niet de ziekte is maar juist het afweermechanisme van het lichaam om de
ziekte buiten te drijven.
Fever warms up the human body, but is not an illness. It’s a defense mechanism
to get rid of the illness. De aarde wil van ons af.
Our planet is trying to get rid of us. En terecht, dingen hebben nou eenmaal hun
consequenties, wet van oorzaak en gevolg.
And it should.
Our actions have consequences. En je hebt mensen, die doen daar nonchalant
over, die zeggen “ach, de opwarming van het klimaat, wat maakt het uit, de winters worden
warmer, te gek.
Some people try to act cool about it and say:
“It’s great, at least we won’t be cold in winter.” Mocht het dadelijk oorlog worden hebben we
geen hongerwinter maar een lekkere-trek-herfst, jee!”
“No hungry winters for us if a war breaks out.”
On the screen, this is a section in which Maassen talks quite quickly and therefore some content had to be omitted or rephrased to shorten the subtitles. This is the case with the eighth sentence, in which he mentions the “wet van oorzaak en gevolg”. This has been omitted, as it could be considered to be duplicated information. “Our actions have consequences” conveys the entire utterance perfectly and fits into one subtitle, taking away the risk that the subtitles will be shown for a too short period of time.
The same goes for “lekkere-trek-herfst”, which has been left out. This is not only because of the time constraint – there is not enough time during this section to spread the text
over two subtitles – but also because the cultural reference does not translate into English very well. The Dutch famine is called “hongerwinter” (hunger winter) in Dutch, with which Maassen makes a play on words to produce a humorous effect. As the famous “hongerwinter” does not translate literally into English (in English it is called the Dutch famine of 1944), this content has been omitted.
Echt, het moet, geloof me, het moet anders. Believe me, we need to change. En ik geloof wat wij nodig hebben om te zorgen
dat het echt anders wordt, wat wij nodig hebben, is een leider.
I think that what we need in order to change… …what we need is a leader. Weet je, een echte leider, niet het soort leider
dat wel sms’t met Jantje Smit maar niet wil praten met de dalai lama.
A real leader, not like the current one…
…that refuses to talk to the Dalai Lama. Nee, een echte leider. Iemand die ons verbindt,
iemand die ons het vertrouwen geeft dat we het ook echt anders kunnen.
A real leader.
Somebody that can bring us together… …someone that makes us believe
that we can make a change. In eerste instantie zat ik te denken aan, eh... Ja,
aan mezelf.
I was thinking that that someone could be…
…me. Ware het niet dat ik op dit moment in m’n leven
ook net effe in een soort toestand zit waarin m’n ouwe leefgewoonten ontoereikend zijn, ik zit
effe... zelf in een soort privé-crisis.
But I’m at a point in my life in which I can’t resolve any issues either.
I’m going through a little personal crisis right now.
This part contains another cultural reference which is problematic to translate literally and make sure the target audience understands. The “leader” Maassen is referring to is Jan Peter Balkenende, who was the Dutch prime minister at that time. Midway through the year 2009, the Dalai Lama came to visit the Netherlands and Balkenende refused to meet him. This was because of the fragile relationship with China at that moment. The prime minister feared that
meeting the Dalai Lama could hurt the relationship between the Netherlands and China at that time (Koelé, 2009). At the same time, Balkenende has also been in the newspapers for
commenting on Jan Smit’s break-up with his girlfriend. Jan Smit is a famous singer in the Netherlands. Maassen is trying to make clear that he does not accept a political leader to engage in conversations with a mediocre Dutch artist while refusing to speak to the political / religious leader of Tibet.
This raises two issues: the possibility that the target audience might not know who Jan Smit is and the possibility that they might not have heard about the prime minister’s refusal to meet the Dalai Lama. Therefore, the reference to Jan Smit has been omitted and only the second part has been kept. To clarify that Massen is referring to Balkenende and not just blurting something out, “niet het soort leider” has been changed to say “not like the current one” in English. This makes clear that he is talking about a current Dutch leader.
In the last segment Maassen refers to the dictionary definition he cited earlier, and as this definition had been somewhat changed in the English, it has been changed in this segment as well to be consistent with the English.
Ik zal effe uitleggen wat er aan de hand is, anders is dit een onduidelijk... Ik zal effe
gewoon effe zeggen hoe het zit, ehm...
I’ll just explain what’s going on, otherwise…
Het is namelijk zo: ehm, mijn, ehm, mijn vriendin, hè, laten we d’r effe voor ’t gemak
“HEEEYY!” noemen.
It’s like this, my girlfriend… …let’s just call her…
…for now. Die, ja... Ik zeg nou vriendin, ik zeg vriendin,
maar officieel is het mijn vrouw.
I call her my girlfriend, but she’s officially my wife. We zijn getrouwd, maar ik vind het niet klinken,
mijn vrouw.
We’re married, but I don’t like to call her my wife. Hè, met je vriendin heb je geile seks, met je
vrouw, daar ga je mee naar bed.
You have hot sex with your girlfriend, but you ‘get intimate’ with your wife. Ja, voor je het weet heb je
geslachtsgemeenschap.
Before you know it, you’re having sexual intercourse. Ik vind, een vrouw, vind ik veel meer iemand
die, iemand die als je naar werk gaat, die je in de deuropening staat uit te zwaaien en dat dit stukje arm zo net de andere kant uit zwaait.
A wife is the one who waves at you when you go to work… …and you can see her elbow
waving in the other direction. Uuhh, vriendin. Girlfriend.
The second segment in this part contains a joke about the name of Theo Maassen’s girlfriend. As he presumably does not want to make her name public, he turns it into a joke and just screams “hey”. This term has not been translated as he is obviously screaming on the screen which can be picked up by the viewer quite easily. Keeping this term in the subtitle would create duplicated information.
A few segments further on, Maassen uses many typical Dutch expressions for having sex with someone, according to the “kind” of sex one has with a wife or girlfriend. These terms have been transposed and English expressions were used accordingly.
Maar goed, mijn vriendin, mijn vriendin die stelde mij een tijdje geleden voor het voldongen
feit dat zij ging stoppen met de pil, en dat ik onderhand maar een keer wat moest verzinnen
om ervoor te zorgen dat zij niet zwanger zou worden.
So, my girlfriend. She recently told me that she was getting off the pill… …and that I would have to make sure
that she wouldn’t get pregnant. Ja goed, één ding wist ik meteen heel zeker en
dat is, condooms, dat is geen optie.
One thing I knew for sure is that condoms are not an option. Ik heb ’t wel eens geprobeerd, maar dat rubber,
hoe dat ruikt, hoe dat voelt, ik... Ik heb toch altijd...
I’ve tried it before, but the rubber, the smell… Als ik met condoom vrij, heb ik toch altijd het
gevoel alsof ik met Barbamama lig te neuken.
…condoms always make me feel like I’m having sex with Barbamama. En geen kwaad woord over Barbamama. Not that I don’t like Barbamama
Hè, we kennen allemaal ‘de mop’, maar uiteindelijk is Barbamama wel de enige vrouw ter wereld die na het neuken daadwerkelijk kán
veranderen in een stel vrienden en een krat bier.
We all make fun of her, but after sex she’s the only one… …who actually can transform into a couple of friends and some beers. Hè? Geen kwaad woord. Maar goed, dat... Dat
viel af.
Nothing wrong with that. But that was not an option.
In this section, Theo Maassen brings up another cultural reference. However, this reference is not typically Dutch, as it is a reference to a TV series called “Barbapapa”. It is originally a
French TV series and has been translated (dubbed) into several languages to be broadcast in multiple countries. Whether a person is familiar with the series or not depends on the age of that specific person and if “Barbapapa” was a big hit in the country in which they live. It was quite famous in the Netherlands at the time it was shown on TV and therefore most Dutch people will get Maassen’s reference. As the joke is too specific to be substituted for
something completely different, the cultural reference has been kept in its original form here. “Geen kwaad woord” is another fixed expression in Dutch which cannot be translated literally into English in this context. This is why it has been translated differently in the two segments in which it occurs: “Not that I don’t like…” and “Nothing wrong with that” respectively, according to the context.
En... Ja, het enige, het enige wat ik verder nog kon bedenken was... Ja, hè, voor het zingen de
kerk uit.
The only other thing I could think of was… …the pull-out method. Of, zoals wij in Eindhoven zeggen: coïtus
interruptus.
Or how we say it around here: Coitus interruptus. Maar goed, het grote nadeel daarvan is
natuurlijk, da’s... Dat is niet veilig. Dat is niet veilig.
But the thing about that is it’s not safe. Ik vertel niks nieuws, dat weet iedereen, dat
komt omdat vrouwen van voorvocht ook zwanger kunnen raken.
This is nothing new, everybody knows women can get pregnant from pre-cum. Het is, eh... Maar goed, dat is algemeen
bekend, ik heb het altijd geweten ook, van dat voorvocht.
It’s common knowledge, I always knew that. Dat, wat ik me alleen nooit echt helemaal
gerealiseerd heb is, is..
But what I didn’t realize until now… Is dat er dus mensen zijn, ja je hebt dus
mensen die zijn ontstaan als gevolg van, hè, een ferme zaadlozing.
…is that some people were conceived through a firm ejaculation. En je hebt mensen die zijn ontstaan als gevolg
van: voorvocht.
And other people came into this world because of…
…pre-cum.
De zogenaamde voorvochtmensen. The so-called pre-cum people. Als je het weet, dan zie je het, dan eh... hé
[points at audience].
If you know, you’ll recognize them.
The first segment in this section contains the Dutch expression “voor het zingen de kerk uit”. This has a direct equivalent in English, although it is not as figurative: “the pull-out method”. As there is no other expression for this phenomenon, the English equivalent has been used. The following term “coïtus interruptus” has a direct equivalent in English which is also the exact same phrase, thus a relatively easy decision.
A somewhat more tricky translation is the term “voorvocht”. This term is used in Dutch in colloquial context as well as a medical context. The direct equivalent for English would be “pre-ejaculate” which sounds a little too formal for this context. Therefore, the colloquial equivalent “pre-cum” has been used. This is how the translation for
“voorvochtmensen” was created as well: “pre-cum people”, maintaining a bit of the alliteration of the original term made up by Maassen.
In the last segment, Maassen talks about recognizing a certain “pre-cum person” and points at someone in the audience, so as to act as if he just saw such a person. This consists of only a “hey” uttered by Theo Maassen and has thus not been translated – there is no linguistic information to be translated as the viewer will understand what Maassen is doing.
Maar, eh. Maar goed, dat ging... het ging, op zich het ging... het ging op zich, het ging
allemaal goed. Het ging goed.
Overall… It went fine. It went fine, really. Eh, eigenlijk totdat het moment dat eh... dat het
eh, misging. En mijn vriendin mij belde en die zei: “Theo, je moet komen.”
Until the moment… …where it went wrong. My girlfriend calls me and says: “Theo, you have to come over.” Ik zei, “Hoezo, wat is er dan?” Ze zei “Kom nou
maar”, ik zeg “Maar.. Ja, wat is er dan?” Ze zegt “Kom nou.”
“Why, what’s going on?” “Just come over.”
“What is it?” “Come.” Ik denk, “Fuck, waar is ze nu weer
achtergekomen.” What did she find out about me now. Dus ik, ik ging naar haar toe. Want wij, wij
wonen niet samen, dat had ik er nog niet bij
verteld. We don’t live together. I forgot to mention that. We zijn wel getrouwd, maar we wonen niet
samen, dat kan ook. Ik kan het iedereen aanraden.
We’re married, but living apart. That’s the best thing. Er was natuurlijk wel effe sprake van, dat zij bij
mij in zou trekken, maar ik denk nee. Hè.
We thought about moving in together, but no. Vind het ook leuk om af en toe een balletje te
trappen, maar ik hoef geen voetbalveld in m’n huis. Snap je.
I like playing football, but don’t need a football field in my home.
As previously mentioned, Theo Maassen tends to hesitate very often and produce many unfinished utterances, as usually happens with stand-up comedy. Therefore, the usage of the sequence dots has been introduced to indicate unfinished sentences as well with this project. This has also been done in the first segment of this section, as Theo hesitates a long time before actually saying something that makes sense. Without at least one subtitle, the audience would feel like they are missing something that Theo said.
This is also the first part in which quotation marks are introduced to indicate a quoted conversation. The standard form has been followed, something along the lines of “I said” followed by a colon, double quotation mark and then the utterance closed by another double quotation mark. As the conversation Maassen is quoting is uttered very quickly, some linguistic information has been left out such as the repetitions of “I said” and “she said”.
The last segment has been shortened a bit, as “af en toe een balletje trappen” has been generalized to say “playing football” in English.
Eh, afijn. Ik ging, ik ging dus naar haar toe, zij, zij woont vlakbij, we hebben een HOLA, zoals
dat heet: een huwelijk op loopafstand.
I go over to her place, she lives very close.
We’re in a MIWA: Marriage in walking distance. ’t Is twee straten. En ik ga, ik ga... Ik ga bij haar
naar binnen, en ze staat me al op te wachten in de gang.
I walk through the door, and she’s standing in the hallway. En ze kijkt me aan met een blik die ik niet
helemaal kan plaatsen.
And she looks at me with an unusual look on her face. Ik doe de deur achter me dicht, en ze zegt het
gewoon... Recht in m’n gezicht.
…and she tells me right there. Ze zegt: “Theo, ik ben zwanger.” En ik zal heel
eerlijk zeggen, ik had op dat moment, had ik niet echt een expressie paraat die klopte bij die
situatie.
She says: “Theo...” “...I’m pregnant.”
I don’t know which facial expression goes with that news. Waardoor zij zei: “Wil je dat ik het weg laat
halen?”
That made her say:
“Do you want me to have it removed?” Ik zeg: “Nou ik zou het wel laten doen ja, je
moet niet zelf gaan zitten eh...” [gestures at his crotch] Ja.
I would have it removed, yes. You shouldn’t try to do it yourself. Ja, ik, hè ik had nooit zoveel met abortus, maar
ja als het dan van jezelf is. Hè.
I never really cared for abortion, but when it happens to you.
The first segment of this part contains an acronym. This would usually cause much problems in translation as there is often not a direct equivalent to be found of acronyms of cultural references. However, Maassen made this acronym up himself and therefore the English equivalent can be quite creative as well. Therefore, the translation of “HOLA: huwelijk op loopafstand” is “MIWA: marriage in walking distance” in this section.
A typical Dutch thing to say in one of the next segments is “een blik die ik niet helemaal kan plaatsen.” This cannot be said directly in English and therefore it has been generalized to say “an unusual look on her face” in English.
Maar goed, maar goed ik zat in die situatie dat ik moest nadenken over, over wat ik nu
eigenlijk... Wilde.
So, I had to think about what I really...
...wanted. Weet je... Wat moet je nadenken. Argumenten
zijn het probleem nooit, maar waar wil je het heen geluld hebben.
What’s there to think about? Enough arguments on both sides, but
which side do you want to pick? En, tuurlijk dacht ik meteen: “Ja, wil ik wel dat
mijn kindje geboren gaat worden in deze crisiswereld?”
Immediately I thought… …do I want my child to be born
in this world of crisis? Ja, in welke dan hè. Zoveel alternatieven zijn er In what other world then?
