Adolescent writers of erotic slash fanfiction

Adolescent Writers Of Erotic Slash Fanfiction

By

Jennifer Portillo

11137827

jenniferportillo@rocketmail.com

Master’s Thesis in Sociology, Gender, Sexuality and Society June 2016

First Reader: Sherria Ayuandini Second Reader: Dr. Margriet van Heesch

Table of Contents

Introduction...1

Definitions...1

Structure of the Paper...2

Methodology...5 Recruitment...5 Adolescent Participants...6 Analytic Plan...7 Literature Review...9 Slash Fanfiction...9

Adolescents, Sex and Internet Erotica...13

Chapter One: Adolescent Construction Of ‘Mature’ Slash Fanfiction...17

Building Slash...18

‘Mature’ Slash as Pornography...22

Smut and Lemons...28

Chapter Two: Identification of Desire In Slash Authorship...31

Exploring Identity...32

Challenges in Expression...36

Slash Desires...38

Chapter Three: Adolescent Intimate Expression In Slash Space...47

A Secret Slash Space...48

Finding an Outlet...51

Slash, Fandom and Acceptance...53

Shifting Pleasures...57 Conclusion...61 Further Study...63 Bibliography...67 Appendices...69 Questionnaire...69 Email...70 Summary...71

INTRODUCTION

In 2011, an analysis by FFN Research on users of the popular fanfiction website fanfiction.net (ff.net) revealed the majority of its users were adolescents (ffnresearch). In 2013, an informal census conducted on the equally popular fanfiction website Archive of Our Own (AO3) by its owners presented the “M/M” category, defined as “male/male” romance or homoerotic stories known as slash, as the most popular category of fanfiction for reading and writing with

adolescent users (AO3 Census). Additionally, this census showed that the most popular rating, such as disclaimers of “T for teen,” for fanfiction among adolescent users was “M” or “mature” (ibid). These two, the analysis on ff.net and AO3, were one of the first attempts to map out demographics in the virtual space of fanfiction.

For those active in fanfiction, like myself, the results were not a surprise. In my over ten years of participating in fanfiction online, my personal observations coincide with the claims of adolescents as participants in slash fanfiction. The data offered by the research on ff.net and AO3 signal a prominence of adolescents creating homoerotic fanfiction. However, in nearly all slash fanfiction research, the slash writer has been regarded as an adult woman with connections to intimate and sexual expression in writing slash fanfiction (Bacon-Smith, 1992; Jenkins, 1992; Harris & Alexander, 1998; Zubernis & Larsen, 2012). Evidence of adolescents writing erotic slash fanfiction exits and presents a unique opportunity for insight on adolescent desire and sexuality. I aim to explore a gap in slash fanfiction with interviews of adolescent writers of erotic slash fanfiction to include rare narratives to the discussion of intimate expression within slash. DEFINITIONS

A closer look at the term ‘slash’ and others is required to fully comprehend the results of my interviews. I will provide the definition of a term as I have come to understand through years of participation and that which is widely recognized through previous researchers.

Fans participating in appreciation for a chosen entertainment are collectively known as “fandom” and is considered its own subculture (Jenkins, 2006; Gray 2007). Some fans choose to write stories involving characters of the original work which is called “fanfiction” (Jenkins, 1992). Fanfiction has a category known as “slash” and is where the writer focuses on an attraction and sexual relationship between male-identified characters which can be considered homoerotic (Bacon-Smith, 1992). ‘Slash’ derived from the punctuation mark between “M/M” of

“male/male.” ‘Slash’ can be used as a verb meaning the participant pairs male characters together romantically in the phrase “they slash.” I label slash with sexual content is labeled as “erotic”—a “stimulation” of desire (Mey, 2007). ‘Mature’ is used interchangeably with ‘erotic’ because of the

“mature,” or “M,” rating given to a fanfiction on a website. Throughout this paper, for the sake of brevity, I will refer to ‘erotic slash fanfiction’ as ‘erotic slash’ or ‘slash’. ‘Fic’ is the shorthand of fanfiction.

“Ship” is sourced from the word “relationship.” It can be used as a noun as a placeholder for the names of the characters in a relationship. Such as, “my interviewee writes this ship.” When used as a verb, “to ship” something means the fan has an affinity for the romance between characters. For example, “my interviewee ships the characters from a television show.” A ship can be signified with a “/” or “x” between character names, written as “character/character” or “character x character.”

Pertinent to this research is the term ‘adolescent’ and describes anyone under the age of 18 as outlined by the United Nations (UN Convention). Also of importance is the

implementation of the use of gender neutral pronouns to respect the gender disclosed by participants which are outside the traditional gender binary of ‘male’ and ‘female’. The pronouns ‘ze’ and ‘hir’ will be used in place of he/she and him/her, respectively.

STRUCTUREOFTHE PAPER

To start research involving the complexities of adolescent sexual expression within slash fanfiction, I chose the fanfiction website Wattpad. Wattpad holds the strongest contingent of adolescent fans to be contacted on with its private messaging system AO3 is without and its ability to search for M-rated slash fanfiction which ff.net lacks (Baker-Whitelaw & Romano, 2014). The highest rating available on Wattpad is “Mature.” M/M slash is the focus of my research as the AO3 census labeled male-oriented slash as the most popular with adolescents. I recruited adolescents on Wattpad from a variety of fandoms and conducted interviews regarding their erotic slash fanfiction. The findings of these interviews resulted in three important subjects: (1) Individual constructions and understandings of ‘mature’ rated slash fanfiction, (2)

Identification of desire within the creation of slash fanfiction, and (3) Intimate expression in participation of the online slash space. Utilizing a narrative analysis of 16 interviews, I breakdown these elements in three separate chapters.

In the first chapter, I will cover adolescent construction of erotic slash as a category with a connection to their own intimate desires. The understanding of what erotic slash fanfiction is to the adolescents I interviewed will give grounding to sexual comprehension they hold as well as that which they write. This chapter further explores the definitions of “erotic slash” and how adolescents consume and produce material that may or may not be pornographic in “mature” slash.

The second chapter will focus on direct connections to the adolescent author.

Conversations here will include relations to various facets of identity in the slash they write and specifics of what they desire within slash fanfiction and ships to reveal intimate preferences.

Lastly, the third chapter covers the online space in which these adolescents slash which is dubbed as ‘slash space’. This is the place where slash fanfiction exists and thrives as their

creations are subsequently shared with others. My interviewees discuss the intimate expression with themselves and others that is done in fandom participation.

In this paper, I attempt to answer the following questions:

 How is erotic consumption and production constructed for adolescent slash fans?  How does adolescent sexuality find a place for expression in erotic slash stories?  How do adolescent participants of erotic fanfiction utilize the web to find pleasure?

METHODOLOGY

The findings discussed in this paper with a narrative analysis were gathered from adolescent writers of slash fanfiction with sexual content. In order to obtain this desired pool of respondents there was a need to implement a multi-step process consisting of scouting,

distributing questionnaires, and interviews over the internet. Each step will be briefly explained before exploring the results in a thorough analysis.

RECRUITMENT

Participants for this research were recruited through the fanfiction website Wattpad due to its private messaging system and ability to search for M-rated slash fanfiction other sites do not have. On Wattpad, I searched fanfiction for content containing the descriptors ‘slash’, ‘yaoi’, ‘boyxboy’, and ‘gay’. The choice for using these terms was made based on the frequency which these labels appeared on the website to correspond with popularity. The results of this search produced a set of stories and authors. Further, I sought stories labeled with a “mature” rating, alluding to the sexual content of the story, as this is the highest available rating. The authors were then contacted via the private messaging system if their profile stated an age of under 18 years. This message contained an invitation to participate in an online questionnaire and were reassured of anonymity. This resulted in approximately 119 messages with 33 never responding. Not all of those who replied chose to take part in the questionnaire.

The questionnaire was created through Google forms. The questionnaire asked for a variety of responses which would serve to find adolescents participating in ‘mature’ slash. The implementation of a questionnaire served to account for transparency as a researcher involved with slash fanfiction and as an additional method of fact checking respondents’ ages. A portion of these questions were marked as required or the entire questionnaire would not be possible to submit. Some of these questions will be briefly discussed.

The first element asked of the questionnaire was a name and age. Both of these were required to answer. The name offered the choice to use an online username or other alias. Another required question was if they write or read mature slash fanfiction. The available answers were set to ‘read’, ‘write’, ‘both’, or ‘no’. Additional required were asked with optional questions users were free to answer at their discretion. Lastly, an opportunity to leave their email to be contacted for an interview was given. At the end of this step, the questionnaire closed with 62 responses.

Respondents of the questionnaire who left their email were then evaluated if they met the requirements of an adolescent erotic slash writer. This initial check produced a set of 24

potential respondents. All 24 were contacted via email. This email provided additional information about the interview and research as well as requesting a time and method for an interview. Also provided was an opportunity to share fanfiction which they would like to discuss during the interview. Not all of the 24 potential respondents were able to setup an interview within the data collection period. 16 interviews resulted from those contacted. Two interviews were not included in these counts as one was deemed unusable due to a lack of cooperation and another withdrew their interview. The tally of ages of the recruitment pool are one 12, two 13, four 14, four 15, one 16, and four 17. Two age discrepancies became present with a respondent stating an age younger in the interview than in the questionnaire and another the opposite of stating themselves older in the interview. The age provided in the interview was utilized.

Interviews took place through various methods. These were via Google Hangouts, Skype, Kik, Wattpad messaging, email, and iMessage. The interviews lasted an average of two and half hours and worked with an open-ended interview outline focusing on slash content they created and their participation in slash.

ADOLESCENT PARTICIPANTS

As this research involves adolescents, anonymity was the highest priority and names in this analysis have been altered. Nearly all slash writers contacted were incredibly weary about taking part in an interview unless they were allowed decide the method. I knew I had to remain flexible throughout the process to accommodate each potential participant. Interviews with adolescents required careful planning of questions so as not to directly press the sensitive topic of sexuality onto interviewees. While the sexual scenes are present in the fanfiction and in other slash content online, it is not common to discuss these sensitive topics outside of these online conditions. Some openly discussed attraction and sexual orientation whereas others alluded to the discomfort in analyzing these topics, especially in-depth. Many gave very brief answers as they didn’t wish to delve into the topic in great detail. I was bound to make sure my participants were always comfortable with the topics presented and respected every answer. There was a reluctance to share location and this proved to be a problem in scheduling interviews because of unclear timezones. Because of the lack of a physical space within the digital it may seem very difficult to successfully evaluate the interviewee, but web savvy adolescents are adept at

conveying their emotions very well through the use of emoticons. These are the best calculation for assessing an interviewee’s attitude and my interviewees were assured that they need not omit them.

ANALYTIC PLAN

A narrative analysis was implanted for the interviews. Quotes included from interviews in this paper are presented verbatim, with original formatting. This includes punctuation, spelling and the use of emoticons to display emotion that would otherwise be undetectable on the web. There is one exception with my interviewee Kiran who chose to respond with all caps in their answers and their excerpts in this paper have been edited to for clarity. Interviews were

transcribed and coded in vivo with Atlas.ti. Narratives were broken down into quotes based on the relevance and relation to the research questions. The codes formed 13 families and then subsequently grouped into 6 super families which accounted for the three research questions with 2 super families each. The findings which emerged from coding will be presented in a narrative analysis in three chapters regarding the adolescent construction of erotic slash fanfiction, identity and desire in authorship of slash, and intimate expression in the slash space.

LITERATURE REVIEW

The subculture of fans and fandom have not remained unexplored within academia through media and popular culture as explored in research from Henry Jenkins (2006). Fanfiction has also been an area of study for researches before dedicated websites for fanfiction existed in Jenkins’ Textual Poachers (1992). Fanfiction research has extended to slash fanfiction and the scope of digital cultures and fandoms (Harris & Alexander 1998, Zubernis & Larson 2012). Research on fanfiction, erotic slash fanfiction and adolescents writing fanfiction exists separately yet there lacks an intersection of the three (Chandler-Olcott & Mahar, 2003; Salmon & Symons, 2004; Schaffner, 2009). With knowledge from the fanfiction.net and AO3 studies that the

demographics of popular fanfiction websites have significant counts of users as adolescents there has been little recognition on the fact that these users also produce slash content. Most lacking of all within related research is the adolescent narrative with Rebecca Black’s Adolescent and Online Fanfiction being one of the few exceptions (2008).

For the base groundwork on adolescents in erotic slash fanfiction, I will discuss research which has been done on slash fanfiction, studies on adolescent sexuality and erotic material on the internet.

SLASH FANFICTION

Fanfiction was first curated for a larger audience in Henry Jenkins’ text Textual Poachers: Television Fans and Participatory Culture (1992). This premier text on fanfiction also included a chapter solely to slash. Here, Jenkins discusses what slash can be to its creators:

Slash fiction represents a reaction against the construction of male sexuality on television and in pornography. […] A refusal of fixed-object choices in favor of a fluidity of erotic identification. (p. 189)

Masculinity and choice of “erotic identification” are Jenkins’ understandings of slash which can be seen in the manipulations of original content occurring within slash. Jenkins also relates the storytelling of erotic viewpoints of writers to identity and pleasure:

[Women’s] pleasure in multiple identifications is reflected by the narrational structures characteristic of slash writing. (p. 199)

Slash is created to be pleasing to the writer in this excerpt. While Textual Poachers includes a thorough breakdown on how slash can be interpreted, Textual Poachers sparsely discusses erotic slash and is focused on printed slash that was distributed to a clientele who knew of its existence. The choices of slash available to Jenkins was narrow as fanfiction wasn’t easily accessible on the

multiple websites that exist today. The analytical focus of this academic commentary on slash also focused on woman writers (p.201).

To take the view of the erotic slash writer further, I turn to Theorizing Fandom: Fans, Subculture, and Identity (1998) edited by Cheryl Harris and Alison Alexander. As this text once again speaks largely on a female perspective, its argument finds a connection in desire and the slash writer. Mirna Cicioni writes in the “Male Pair-Bonds and Female Desire” chapter:

Both heterosexual romances and slash narratives can be defined as fantasies in which the sexual desires women are trained to suppress and the nurturance they are trained to cultivate come together, have a positive outcome, and result in satisfaction. […] In slash texts, women’s desire for nurturance is eroticized and displaced onto masculine bodies. (p. 171-172)

Cicioni notes the unique displacement of erotic desire that slash offers its writers onto the characters within slash. With the consideration of the erotic material in slash as fantasy and satisfaction, a view on labeling slash as pornography is presented as incorrect:

In the literature of slash, the sex scenes have been interpreted either as romantic metaphors or as outright women's pornography. […] However, I would disagree with [this] identification of slash with pornography. […] Slash sex scenes, far from representing degrading behavior [which pornography has been defined by], are usually set in contexts of deep emotional closeness. (p.168)

Similar to the excerpt from Jenkins’, slash is seen by the author as an alternative from pornography as slash is seen by the author as constructed as something that is not as

“degrading” as pornography. This is, of course, inferring to the understanding of porn at that time and current slash is complicated with subgenres containing ‘porn’ in the name—like that of ‘PWP’ which stands for ‘porn without plot.’

Erotic slash has also been considered in Fandom at the Crossroads (2012) by Lynn Zubernis and Katherine Larsen. This text, by self-identified fans, offers one of the first insights from the unique viewpoint of that of a fan and academic. Their definition of fandom, which is something they know from experience, desribes more than a ‘space’: “Fandom is something to be indulged in. Something that makes us feel good” (p. 64). In following this relevant discussion on author desires in fan creations, Zubernis and Larsen continue with relation to participation in fandom:

That fandom can provide some of [female desire] discourse is suggested by the interaction and fanworks in various communities of [specific fandoms], which allow women a forum in which to get in touch with their own authentic desires and openly express their genuine experience, including their sexual selves. (p. 67)

Although, this passage highlights female desire like previous research, the same can be applied for adolescents as a whole because there is no doubt that in the digital space some of these women must be in their youth. Consider the following passage from Zubernis and Larsen when applying adolescents to the topic:

Fans openly proclaim their appreciation of sexually explicit fanworks created for the enjoyment of other women in a way that rarely happens in “real life” social interaction. (p. 68)

“Fans” can be anyone, especially on the web where identity isn’t necessarily needed or revealed. If the word “women” in the previous passage is replaced with “adolescent”, the statement would still hold true. Zubernis and Larsen do briefly touch on the adolescent writer with reference to a separate study by Angela Thomas (2004):

[Fanfic] narratives, which at first reflect and later begin to allow evolution of the girls’ identities. […] [Writing] a character, even one based on the self, allows them to take down their customary

emotional defenses and reveal—and feel—more than they ordinarily would without such displacement. (p. 107)

The focus on the mentioned research was “girls” and Thomas found the character displacement in fanfiction to be fundamental in the forming of identities in adolescents. As noted, the

reception of fanfiction is different and varies on the author’s age. Even while taking into account the “transformative” properties which Zubernis and Larsen devote a chapter to, it is unfortunate they didn’t allow for more discussion involving adolescents.

In another section of Fandom at the Crossroads, there is recognition that young female fans can have their behavior misinterpreted by others and labeled as “harmless childhood fantasy” (p. 60). This is why previous texts on slash fanfiction paid little to no attention on the adolescent writers present in fandom. They are overlooked and most likely regarded with little maturity unlike the adult fans approached for providing input to the previous authors’ research. In attempts to bring legitimacy to slash fanfiction as something worth researching, researchers overlook a significant population (Stanfill, 2013). It can be reasoned that researchers actively

avoid adolescents and other factors that can be considered as harmful to a ‘positive’ view on fanfiction.

In “Slashing the Romance Narrative” (2003) by Anne Kustritz, there is a passage that explicitly shifts slash writers away from adolescents as “not children, they are not social misfits, and they are not mentally ill” (p. 376). This sentence is an active choice to exclude what Kustritz aims to do in the paper and that is define slash writers as “well-adjusted adults” (ibid). In this statement, however, Kustritz implies that authors who are indeed within the constraints of “not” belong in a lower category of fanfiction. Granted, Kustritz is trying to shake stigma from

fanfiction, but the argument does not succeed in that. This claim only harms the type of authors listed in ‘not’ because it removes the negative implications of fanfiction and places it on the “children,” “social misfits” and “mentally ill.”

Unlike Kustritz, Sara K. Day spares plenty for adolescent authors in “Pure Passion: The Twilight Saga, ‘Abstinence Porn,’ and Adolescent Women’s Fan Fiction” (2014). Here, Day adds critical input:

Although adolescent women, like their adult counterparts, seek entertainment and escape in their engagement with fan fiction, they may also find opportunities to explore identity development and vicarious experiences of the love, sex, and romance many have not yet encountered in their real lives. […] Fan fiction, then, makes possible readers’ vicarious exploration of the sexual urges the [entertainment] inspires. (p. 34)

Day looks into adolescent fans of Twilight yet the basis can be applied to other fans in their youth. Day suggests that adolescents turn to fanfiction to fulfill a desire incited by the original content. As the title of the article suggests, the fanfiction was applied against a lens of

abstinence which Day asserts is promoted through the Twilight series. While Day includes excerpts of fanfiction from adolescent authors no actual input from adolescents exist in the paper.

The same problem exists in Catherine Tosenberger’s “Homosexuality at the Online Hogwarts: Harry Potter Slash Fanfiction” (2008). This is an exceptional introduction to adolescent slash as Tosenberger tackles notions of slash and its fans, and the potential of studying fans in adolescent-oriented media:

One avenue that has yet to be explored, with specific regard to adolescent fans, is the potential to encounter and experiment with

alternative modes of sexual discourse, particularly queer discourse. Potter fandom, due in part to its sheer size, but also to the great diversity of ages and sexual orientations of its members, is ideal ground for exploring many varieties of non heteronormative discourses in fandom. Slash is therefore one of the most popular genres of Potter fanfiction. (p. 186)

Recognizing the unique opportunity online slash offers in “sexual discourse”, Tosenberger continues with an analysis on Harry Potter slash fanfiction and other, traditionally published, homoerotic literature. Of note, is the exception which slash fanfiction presents compared to this literature:

Fanfiction writers are not bound to a pedagogical imperative, which means they are free to concentrate on eroticism rather than on social issues. (p. 200)

“Free” is a particularly crucial element in slash fanfiction which is connected to fanfiction authors, but rarely applied to its adolescent authors. While Tosenberger does make this relation, they do not include input from any adolescent although there is a hefty amount of excerpts from slash fanfiction.

Adolescents haven’t been wholly excluded from other fanfiction research beyond slash. Rebecca W. Black works extensively with fanfiction and adolescents in covering topics such as English language learning in the book Adolescents and Online Fan Fiction (2008) and other articles. The work does justice in the learning potential of fanfiction, however, its focus is not on romantic fanfiction. Kelly Chandler-Olcott and Donna Mahar examine the literary merit of fanfiction in “Adolescents' amine-insprired 'fanficitons': An exploration of Multiliteracies” (2003) where they continue the learning potential of fanfiction. In another work, Becca Schaffner notes that they themselves were involved in fanfiction from the age of fourteen in “In Defense of Fanfiction” (2009) and this should alert fanfiction researchers who are not fans themselves, that there are adolescents active in all parts of fandom. Unlike previous slash research, I seek to distance from the focus of the slash writer from women to the adolescent writers.

ADOLESCENTS, SEXAND INTERNET EROTICA

Sexuality and adolescents remains a sensitive issue which numerous scholars have covered yet the methods remain restricted. When considering adolescents and sexuality, very little exists that is not a psychoanalysis à la Freud, a wide coverage behavior study, or in the form of an anecdote from adults. A good example of this would be Larry Constantine and Floyd

Martinson’s Children and Sex: New Findings, New Perspectives (1981). There are others who contextualize adolescent sexuality in terms of leaving adolescents to define it themselves. In Sexual Citizenship (1993) by David Evans—a work tying sexuality to capitalism and, ultimately, citizenship—explains youth sexuality as something hidden and “unspoken to adults” which gives full rein to fantasy (p. 219). As a followup to Evans, Ken Plummer introduces the concept of Intimate Citizenship (2003) that, Plummer insists, fits into the modern digital age, noting the “unregulated erotica” spanning many varieties that are “available at the touch of a computer key” (p. 10-11). The focus on the digital coincides with the topic of erotic slash. Plummer further adds that much of youth “live their intimacies through the media” (p. 21). While contribution from Evans and Plummer may seem to offer little to slash fanfiction, they both focus on youth crafting a space for themselves out of necessity because sexuality is restricted to them and one avenue for this may be the web.

Beyond the listed exclusions, there is very little with the adolescent voice when the demographic has been considered for research. This is true for other work on adolescents and sexuality. Adolescents in a frame of the erotic and media was briefed in Media, Sex, and the Adolescent (1993) by Jane D. Brown, Anne Barton White, and Lia Nikopoulou. Here, girls’ interviews focusing on “fantasy boys and men” reflected a “struggle to sort out emerging physical desire” (p. 186). Karen Sternheimer observes that “[young people] use sexual

representations to create identity and status within their peer groups” in “Fear of Sex: Do the Media Make Them Do It?”(2003: 172). This “peer group” can definitely be expanded to fandom in an online space. Lydia Kokkola notes that teenagers who express their carnality are “deemed deviant” in Fictions of Adolescent Carnality: Sexy Sinners and Delinquent Deviants (2013: 37) and describes why adolescent romance penned by adults falls short of teenage expression. All of the previous can be applied to the source of entertainment for fans and the online slash fandom, yet it hasn’t.

In adolescent slash production, adolescents post their erotic works online for others to read creating a complex environment of participation in sexual expression. Zoë D. Peterson notes adolescent girls’ sexual empowerment in fantasy:

the freedom to experiment with sexual roles and fantasies is part of developing a healthier sexuality seems to apply even more strongly to adolescent girls, who are just in the process of developing a sexual identity (2009: 312).

Of course, this sexual expression is up for interpretation of researchers and becomes incredibly more complex when factoring in a subculture with multiple term definitions.

As earlier literature stated, there is contestation on whether erotic slash fanfiction can be categorized as porn like in Cicioni’s excerpt. Current porn studies on the internet do not cover the fanfiction category. While Margret Grebowicz discusses erotic material on the web—and connects its access to pleasure and freedom, which desire does not have according to Grebowicz —in Why Internet Porn Matters (2013), the relation to adolescents is presented in the context of sex education. Grebowicz does, however, mention the importance of anime (Japanese cartoons) porn, called hentai, and some of my interviewees are fans of anime. The proliferation of ‘alternative’ sex on the internet makes it more accessible to those who live in places where it would be an issue. Yanrui Xu and Ling Yang discuss how production of erotic slash fiction on the web is “easier” in the form of fiction as words “disseminate on the Internet” and bypass local sexuality restrictions (2013: 30). As my interviewees come from all over the world, including India and Bulgaria, climate in geography and within family and friends in regards to

homosexuality mattered greatly. Other internet porn writings such as C’Lick Me: A Netporn Studies Reader (2007) cover erotic fiction but not fanfiction save for one brief mention despite fanfiction residing largely on the web. However, this all can be seen as part of the debate whether erotic slash can be categorized as porn.

Though research has been extensive in the authors previously covered, I will attempt on what has been left out. In my research, I asked adolescent slash writers many unanswered questions such as whether or not they would categorize erotic slash they have written as porn, and their views on their slash creations in relation to their identity and the online space to fill a void of discussion which has not been facilitated.

Chapter One:

“I mean it can be considered as porn but not really.”

Devon, 14

EROTIC SLASHANDTHEADOLESCENTFAN

During interviews, one fact was becoming increasingly clear: not everyone held the same

definitions of slash. At the beginning of this paper, I introduced slash as a category of fanfiction focusing on men in a romantic and sexual relationship. The personal interpretations arising from interviews alluded to the understandings of sexuality the interviewee had on slash they read and write. Further, the classification of erotic slash alongside pornography produced divergent opinions on how sexual content is evaluated for enjoyment. Although, the basics of slash remain consistent as homoerotic stories, the term ‘slash’ itself is not always used by the slash writer. This discovery of how my interviewees consume and produce erotic slash will construct the

background for sexual expression within erotic slash fanfiction.

For the first part of this chapter, I will explore how slash is built and described as something desired from its adolescent writers as a preferred form of intimacy. This will be explained in the varied definitions of the term ‘slash’ from interviews. With the ‘mature’ label that is adhered to erotic slash on Wattpad, my interviewees consider the possibility a

‘pornography’ label. In this, interviewees discuss how erotic content is enjoyed. BUILDING SLASH

To understand why adolescent slash creators develop their own definition of slash, it is necessary to explore how my interviewees define the category of slash of “same-sex sexual relationships.” Not all interviewees utilize the term ‘slash’ despite their stories containing male-focused

homoerotic content. Before the adolescent slash writer creates slash fanfiction, they must first have comprehension of what slash is intended to convey to themselves and others. I will start this analysis with my interviewee Avery’s, 17, definition of slash: “I would define slash as someone/(Slash)someone.” This definition forgoes mentioning the gender of the characters. This is crucial as Avery began hir interview by introducing hirself as “agender.” To Avery, it is important to experiment with gender and the possibility that the characters in the story can be written as outside the traditional gender binary. Avery constructs slash with a connection to hirself. As the category of slash is focused on implementing romance between characters, ze asserts hir creations bring sexuality to characters regardless of gender. This is a focus to broaden the concept of slash beyond the traditional “male” yet keeps slash as an alternative outlet for romance.

To examine the complexities of the term further, I will take another brief and simple definition from my interviewee Sidney, 12: “Romance between two dudes (that's code for:

HOT…)” Sidney chooses to specify that slash is centered around “two dudes” which keeps the definition on a male focus. By labeling the category as “hot,” Sidney establishes that slash is intended to entice the reader and writer with the sexual scenes presented. The significance of Sidney’s choice to capitalize the letters within “hot” displays the strength in her favorable

conviction of slash as something she openly indulges in. Further, her “romance” must equate to “hot” within slash. With the two definitions from Avery and Sidney, there is a contrast in how homoerotic material is framed by the adolescent. Avery establishes inclusion and Sidney alludes to pleasure. Another take on the category is considered from Nika, 17:

Yaoi, or in this case slash, is a ‘boys love’ genre in the manga or anime community, popular with fangirls who ‘ship’ two guys together, forming a homosexual bond.

Nika incorporates her understanding of the original work, anime or Japanese animation. By introducing the terms “boys love” (BL) and “yaoi”, she describes slash within the anime and manga community. These references suggest the slash she consumes lies within the manga and anime segment of media. Nika’s definition also considers the audience of slash to be “fangirls.” This is based on her own intimate knowledge of the ‘yaoi’ segment of fandom which caters to “forming homosexual bonds.” Nika is one of the “fangirls” as a writer of slash.

Interviewees are aware of the focus on gender in slash and this extends to Avery’s choice to not specify gender as a conscious choice. With Nika’s definition of slash, the concept of writing slash for an audience with a preference is seen. These are personally formulated views of romance and can be found in Cassidy’s, 15:

Basically it's a ship between two males that fall in love and tend to do things that normal couples do.

The use of “two males” within Cassidy’s answer is familiar, however, there is something else which stands out. This is her understanding of slash as different from “normal couples.” This is tied to her societal understandings and placing slash as an alternative romance. This is clarified by Cassidy:

Something about the forbidden part of it. How yaoi is (for the most part) not acceptable in society. It makes you feel like you are

rebellious in a way. Normal romance you see all the time. It gets boring after a while. Being rebellious as a teen feels good.

Cassidy, like Nika, uses the term ‘yaoi’ to classify her slash. Cassidy’s views slash as something outside of normalcy and thus abnormal. Participating in creating abnormality is “rebellious” and

stands as the opposite of “boring”—feeling “good.” Slash, to Cassidy, is to gladly produce and accept the “forbidden” act that slash is.

The observation that slash is different in its content is not uncommon among my interviewees. Innes, 17, presents a definition entangled with her understanding of slash:

[Slash] is an alternative to your generic fiction stories you see in bookstores and online, and in a way it's a great way for people that includes myself to express themselves in strange ways.

Yes, you could do that with any straight couple but slash... Hm... It's hard to explain, honestly, but it's just different in some way.

In a weird way, slash made me who I am and this probably sounds very deep and sappy but it's true, slash is just so different and yeah people think it's weird but that's the point!

Innes realizes slash is different beyond the context of manipulating a romance between two characters of the same sex. The belief here is that the romance in slash differs because it is outside the constructs she is used to. Other stories that are, as she states, “straight” are unable to capture the level of expression possible in slash. Although Innes cannot explain in detail what it is that makes slash “great”, she does attribute this difference to herself and her expression.

To the slash writers I interviewed, the comparison to other romance or fiction was prevalent and it varied whether slash was more or equal. One interviewee, Kiran, 14, presented a similar definition as the above then emphasized her preference. Like Innes, she states that slash is definitely something different and she does not know why, but still expressed as being heavily in favor of slash:

Is it more preferable? Hell.

Fuckin’ Yes.

It is so much more preferable. I don’t know why but it is. I’ve found that it’s the only thing that can actually make me feel something and cry. Nothing else can do what slash does to me.

Nothing.

*demonic voice* Nothing.

Slash is preferred by Kiran in its differences from other media, however, she is not able to explain much beyond that. Of particular note is the line: “it’s the only thing that can actually make me feel something.” Kiran prefers slash because it evokes enjoyment that is incomparable to other forms of entertainment. “Nothing else” allows the advantage of creating something tailored to personal tastes.

My interviewees understandings, as evidenced from the chosen excerpts above, paint a picture of slash created to fit with personal preferences. While gender remains important to most interviewees in specifying the characters as ‘male’, slash is also asserted as something that is different from that which is available. As evidenced previously, not all interviewees define their work with the term ‘slash’. My interviewees also considered the reason as to why they use other terms beside slash. Earlier, Nika and Cassidy chose to use the term ‘yaoi’ in place of slash as it was how they categorized their homoerotic fanfiction. Two interviewees explained why they do not use the term ‘slash’. Innes, 17, reasons that slash simply cannot encompass all which the term is meant to:

Well slash to me is such a general term but I tend to use it to talk about non-heterosexual relationships, mainly gay and lesbian, since many other categories have their own names; smut and fluff for example.

I'm sure once upon a time it simply meant 'not straight' but now people just get confused! Myself included.

Innes draws a distinction between the writing style and content which slash fanfiction may include as demonstrated in her use of “smut and fluff.” These terms are widely understood to mean sexual activity for ‘smut’ and short and sweet for ‘fluff ’. The implication of these substitutions is that the content of the story is more relevant when discussing fanfiction. More so than that of the gender of the characters since slash is “a general term” and doesn’t specify what the relationship in the story is about. Consider Innes’s statement regarding confusion and compare it to Avery’s earlier definition of not being exclusive with gender. “Not straight” is something that cannot be easily applied to genders outside the traditional gender binary with reliance on the hetersexual ‘male’ and ‘female’. This is where slash fanfiction expands to include more of the variety of which Innes alludes to.

This instance of slash not being inclusive to more categories is echoed in another explanation of choosing a different term for slash. Jessie, 14, explains:

I use the term 'ship' and it is two or more people a fandom, or group of people interested in the same thing, would find cute or perfect for eachother.

Sometimes LGBTQ, Straight, or Threesome+.

Jessie believes slash is restricted in its focus of two male characters in her use of “threesome+.” This is a reflection of her interests within slash to include multiple persons in sexual situations. The intention here is her slash writing shouldn’t be narrowed by the number of people in a relationship nor gender. The use of “cute or perfect” is also important as there must be appeal in the characters to the writer.

In developing definitions for ‘slash’, adolescents are outlining the slash they like. Interviewees were initially discovered through their labeled erotic slash stories on Wattpad, so reasoning as to why their definition is different is seen as including everything they enjoy in slash with an intention to convey personal desires. These reasons are also influenced by views on gender and sexuality. ‘Slash’, as a category, is still used as it houses all the additional ‘alternative’ fanfiction that does not have its own category on most fanfiction websites. Despite the variances in definitions in writing male character-centered relationships, the fact exists that these authors do write sexual content in slash fanfiction. This moves to another area of contrast: is this written sexual content pornographic? Earlier, the term ‘smut’ was introduced and I will explore this, along with others, in the following section.

‘MATURE’ SLASHAS PORNOGRAPHY

As my interviewees considered the ‘mature’ label of their slash fanfiction that is given on Wattpad, they were also presented with the possibility of a ‘pornography’ label. There is sexual content within erotic slash, but for the content to extend to the label of ‘pornography’ varies among writers. This is dependent on the term ‘pornography’ and how adolescents view this is relation to their content. To explore this, I will first present excerpts from interviews of those who believe their slash fanfiction can be pornographic followed by the dissenting voices.

The context in which the following opinions were formulated occurred during a discussion about comparison between slash and pornography. This is outlined in the excerpt from my interview with Cassidy, 15:

Me: How can some—or all—mature slash fic be considered porn or not?

Cassidy: Well mature slash fic can be classified as porn based on what it is about. Others can be mature but super fluffy at the same time so it's not as bad as others.

Me: Would you consider the same for your slash fanfiction? Cassidy: Possibly…

There are a few important elements in Cassidy’s answers. Firstly, Cassidy is ready to accept that her writings can be considered pornographic. Secondly, this label of ‘pornographic’ depends on how the sexual content is written. “Fluff ” was explained as a cute, short and sweet romance earlier. When sexual content is positioned alongside “fluffy” it will be “not as bad as others.” This is implying that slash strictly focused on sex may be extreme or “bad”. Erotic slash with fluff is different for Cassidy because having a “cute” romance with sex means there is more beyond sex and will soften the pornographic label.

The awareness of sexual content in slash provokes contemplation of how the content is processed by the adolescent writer. Kiran, 14, offers her insight into what it takes for slash to be pornographic:

I mean, if it’s extremely detailed and you can practically imagine it from how amazing and descriptive it is amd it’s some fifty shades of grey type of stuff. then yes. it very well could be considered porn. of course, this is rarely the case so most of the time it can’t be.

To Kiran, slash that is “extremely detailed” can be pornographic, but as “this is rarely the case” with the current content that is available. This alludes to the content she writes as well as others as not possessing an interpreted high quality. The of the book Fifty Shades of Grey also gives an insight to the content Kiran considers as pornographic.

As the adolescents I interviewed write erotic slash, they comment on the explicit nature of the words as a factor for pornography. Consider the following from Shiori, 16, with a more direct line of reasoning behind the porn discussion:

Welllll if there is insertion and graphic things in it…I suppose it can be considered porn.

The criteria here is simple: if there is sex that is detailed then it will be considered as porn, particularly when that sex involves “insertion” or anal sex. Shiori also describes an awareness in word choice when writing sex scenes in slash that reflect personal views in pornography. Shiori has the option to be “graphic” in hir word choice or not.

For porn in slash fanfiction, the level of description in sex is a factor in categorizing erotic slash. The last few statements agree that if a story contains “graphic” sex then there is a good chance it can be considered porn. However, another interviewee, Indigo, 15, compares this belief against the entire story as a whole and sees sex as separate:

It's porn if there's no rhyme or reason to it. Writing a story simply to lead up to a sex scene is PWP, and I'm not interested. If there is a message to be conveyed though, then I understand. Like getting over trust issues enough to have sex or being comfortable with your body. I don't see that as being pornographic.

Before continuing, there is a new term introduced. Based on my own observations, ‘PWP’ is an acronym for ‘porn without plot’. It refers to a fanfiction with the intention to make the

characters have sex. In this instance, “no reason,” as Indigo states, is reason for fanfiction to be considered porn or PWP. However, the opposite, sex with a “reason,” is not pornographic because it means more. Indigo draws differences between sex scenes that are written with a message versus not since the internalization of the sex scene as a reader or writer will be different when a message exists with varying preferences.

As the fanfiction rating of ‘mature’ is applied to Wattpad stories that can include sexual content, another interviewee, Innes, 17, draws attention to the variety within ‘mature’:

Porn I call explicit, mature to me is simply something that includes a theme that shouldn't be read/seen by younger people. Like a brutal murder with gruesome details […] Porn however, is what it is, that's all very explicit. But I agree in a way, it's more of a 'sub-topic' of mature.

Much like slash has sub-topics instead of one definition.

Innes echoes a claim that porn has to be “explicit” in the writing to be considered such. This interview further highlights that there is no clear way to know based on the internal ratings system on fanfiction websites if a work contains sexual content. An additional understanding Innes possesses is that of how varied the terms ‘mature’ and ‘slash’ from those who create it.

The explicit sex in a fanfiction is evaluated differently by readers and writers. This can be on the word choice and writing slash along other genres as Ashanti, 13, notes:

It depends on the content. If there’s lemon or lime (A.K.A sexual acts) then it’s basically porn. If it’s for violence or language or gore (but still slash), then it’s not porn.

There are two additional terms here: “lemon” and “lime”. To avoid repetition, I will only use ‘lemon’ to refer to these two. These terms are defined by Ashanti as “sexual acts.” Ashanti describes stories with a focus beyond slash sexual relationships as being different then porn. While the story can still be considered ‘slash’, the addition of more story or plot gives slash stories distance from ‘porn’. The choice to label sex acts as ‘lemon’ versus other terms gives the content a more acceptable term for adolescents by avoiding the direct implication of sex in ‘mature’ and ‘pornography’.

My interviewees have described their erotic slash with consideration to how they create and evaluate the sexual content. The main factor tends to be how sex is written and viewed in slash. I will now turn to another interviewee, Sidney, 12, who had a very brief addition to this discussion:

In my opinion, they're the same… As long as it has yaoi sex I DUNT CARE…

Although, Sidney agrees that slash rated as ‘mature’ can most definitely be considered pornographic, she adds her preference in sexual content. When she reads and writes slash fanfiction the “yaoi sex” is something of a given. The label given to erotic slash matters little to Sidney. Sidney defined slash as “hot” in the beginning of this chapter and her focus of

consuming and producing the material is enjoyment.

The opinions given by my interviewees varies with acceptance of creating pornographic material to a conditional possibility. This is a connection between erotic slash they write and their own understandings of pornography. Some interviewees do not share the outlook that slash can be categorized as porn, even under certain circumstances. Nika’s, 17, opinion on the matter involves a deconstruction of the terms ‘porn’ and ‘slash’ into other avenues:

I don’t consider them as porn, more like smut or something like that. Porn is only for the love making, while in my opinion, more mature slash fics actually have some history in the story they belonged to originally.

“Smut” was introduced earlier by another interviewee that refers to sexual scenes. Nika’s

comment that “porn is only for the love making” means that if the story relies on the sex scenes then it can be porn. Smut, however, remains different as it is sexual content with a purpose. This purpose is the plot and “history” which Nika claims is closer to erotic slash. Her opinion denotes that the slash she creates is formed in the manner described.

When compared to their own ‘mature’ slash fanfiction, Mattie, 17, cements the distinction further:

My slash fics are mature, yes, but not all in the porn sort of way. Some angst, some violence and some bad language. The erotica comes after that.

What is unique here is the mention of “erotica.” To Mattie, it’s “erotica” and not porn. The fact that there is angst, violence, and “bad language” is what makes their slash fanfiction different from porn because, like others have said, there is more beyond the sexual scenes. Slash is crafted with erotic content as Mattie admits, but it comes “after” some time.

Tracy, 15, continues on this tone to discuss slash and its sexual content in reference to hir own work and others:

Ehh. To me no. It can be violence, graphic content, etcetera. But [my] story has sexual content and violence. Sensitive topics like abuse as well. 18+ could also be extreme language.

Slash fanfiction must be evaluated against its entire content if it includes other genres such as violence and abuse. There is more going on aside from the sexual content, so slash does not fit into the porn label for Tracy. The sexual content is an element, but only one of many. Ze also chooses to categorize mature slash as “18+” although ze hirmself is not.

My interviewee Kiran’s, 15, takes a different approach to not considering her own work porn:

My work is never that, could and never will be. I’m not capable of such potential.

Kiran was also included as describing erotic slash as highly detailed to be considered porn. Here, the difference lies in the fact that Kiran does not consider their own fanfiction “capable” of achieving that level of writing. There is a lament for her stories as she doesn’t believe she will ever have the “potential” to create pornographic slash. Kiran views pornographic slash as separate from what writing slash is capable of, but is not against the label of ‘porn’.

These discussions on pornography and slash fanfiction revolve around the extent to which sex is explored in the fanfiction and if it is accompanied with another genre. There are personal understandings of porn included, but most of my interviewees did not go into great detail. One interviewee, Avery, 17, possessed a very strong opinion in “slash as porn”

I don’t often consider mature slash fic porn. When I think porn I think of someone finding pleasure in it and in return pleasuring themselves through masturbation. When I read mature fics I wouldn't even think to do that. I'm here reading a story not ‘jacking off ’. That being said I can't speak for other maybe others consider it the same thing.

[…] my mature slash fics are I hope different from porn because I only add sexual content to further my story and if it is purely a mature fic and all sexual I think of it as a story not porn. My intention isn't for people to be turned on at all just to read it and enjoy.

Avery removes their own slash from the consideration of ‘pornography’. Ze also explains that erotic slash solely relying on sex scenes would still not be considered pornographic. This is from a personal understanding that the desire from a porn consumer is different than that of the slash consumer. Desires in slash, Avery insists, is something different than “finding pleasure”

physically. Ze understands pornography as “someone finding pleasure in it and in return pleasuring themselves through masturbation.” Avery is direct that the enjoyment received from slash is not on the solely physical level which pornography is to hir. Beyond intersections of genres which erotic slash stories may intersect, there is still something more in the sexual relationships of slash.

Interviewees maintained a separation of sex from porn and, for Avery, sex is in slash to “further” the story. This aligns with other interviewees where they interpret erotic slash as having history or meaning and eliminates the porn label. Consider the very last line from Avery’s excerpt that hir work isn’t intended “for people to be turned on at all.” Ze continues with slash should be read and enjoyed. These two, enjoyment and “turned on”, do not mean the same. Porn maintains a separate existence from erotic slash. Avery clarified that ze has a preference of fluff over smut and restated sex in hir slash is added conditionally. This produced a discrepancy:

Me: Can't smut also be fluffy? Isn't that what some of your fic is? (Essentially, fluffy angst smut?)

Avery: Yes, smut can be fluffy. I guess I’m talking about PWP. Yes that is what mine are.

Avery can accept the ‘smut’ label more readily than the ‘porn’ one. Another familiar term, ‘PWP’, comes up again and it is denoting another distinction for the complex realm of erotic slash

fanfiction. Recall that “fluffy” is when the romance can be considered short and sweet Another way to think of this category is ‘lovey-dovey’. The admission from Avery, that smut can be fluffy, draws an overlap into other categories and genres. Avery does admit that ze writes fluffy smut, but it is not PWP, it is ‘smut’.

Avery’s response is one that is markedly different from other interviewees in that ze has a specific view on what hir slash fanfiction is perceived as. However, the acceptance of ‘smut’ should not be ignored and will be discussed more next.

SMUTAND LEMONS

There is a reason and preference for choosing ‘smut’ over ‘porn’. Those who described sex scenes within slash fanfiction through other terms did so to draw a separation from porn. One of these terms which was frequent was ‘smut’. As evidenced from Avery’s interview and the use of other terms like ‘lemon’ through interviews, when sex is labeled differently then it

becomes easier to write and explore.

‘Smut’ has been used and reinforced by my interviewees to describe the sexual scenes in erotic slash fanfiction. There was an acceptance of ‘smut’ and a distancing from ‘porn’.

Interviewees did not see a connection between these two terms. There is a need for elaboration on the term ‘smut’ for an understanding as to how adolescents are interpreting their preferred nomenclature for erotic slash. I asked my interviewees to define it and Mattie, 17, supplied her definition:

Me: How would you define 'smut'? Mattie: For me it's real graphic sex

‘Smut’ has been stated as equivalent to sexual content yet different from porn. Mattie further clarifies that smut can be “real graphic sex.” For some interviewees, “graphic sex” can be considered porn, but for others, sex in a slash context is more suited to smut. With slash fanfiction, some of my interviewees stated that the overall story contains more than its erotic content which in turn reflects how the story should be interpreted. It is a reliance on a personal connection in slash.

My interviewee, Indigo, 15, has a complex answer for how ‘smut’ is defined when compared to a mature-labeled slash fanfiction:

Me: Is your definition of “mature” slash fic different? Is it equal to “smut”?

Indigo: Not really. Sometimes sex makes sense in a story. Sometimes it helps to further the plot, as strange as that may sound. Mature just

means it's more so aimed towards people that pick up on that better than the other people who are only in it for the smut element. And other than that, couples have sex. It's realistic to talk about or include something that most would consider important in any relationship.

There remain differences between ‘mature’ and ‘smut’ as has been seen in other interviews. Indigo adds to the discussion and describes smut as an element, referring to the sexual content of slash fanfiction. This places smut beyond a descriptor of slash and this makes sense when arguments against the ‘porn’ label are considered. Erotic slash may have sex, smut, or porn, but Indigo’s stories do not place emphasis on sexual relationships, so they shouldn’t be labeled as such. This is true of Indigo’s fanfiction and other interviewees, but does not account for those who did not have an issue with the ‘porn’ label. Personal understandings of relationships account for Indigo writing erotic slash as she wants to aim for realism. Sexual content in slash remains interpreted and constructed as writers see fit for themselves.

So, what is smut? Smut is a more accepted label in referring to sex in slash fanfiction meaning adolescent authors are writing smut rather than porn or sex. This circumvents a necessity to delve deeply into the erotic content they create by avoiding the ‘porn’ label and not referring to sex directly. As erotic slash is constructed and formulated with terms that are chosen by its adolescent writers, they further adjust the slash category to accommodate their

understandings.

Adolescents who create erotic slash fanfiction do so with their own understanding of gender and sexuality. This is an individually-constructed sexual comprehension that emulates into the slash stories they write and read. The consumption and production of erotic slash relies on interpretations of desire within the story. Slash has a definition that can be manipulated to fit the slash they want. The portrayal of a relationship in homoerotic texts involves a unique and individual construction. These are the basis of erotic slash and the mindset which the adolescents I interview have when creating their own erotic slash. In the next chapter, I will discuss the connection of the adolescent writer’s identity to the slash they create.

Chapter Two:

“The fantasy is anything you want it to be.”

Avery, 17

ADOLESCENCE WITHIN SLASH

As explored in the previous chapter, adolescents creating slash rely on a construction of slash that is wanted. This knowledge of how erotic slash is framed does something else beyond what was covered: it presents a keen awareness of how slash is a refection of their intimate desires. In this chapter, I go into greater detail about how adolescents are aware of their identity and desires when authoring slash.

This chapter will first look closer at the relation of the authors to their work as writers draw explicit connections to their identity. This will also explore any challenges that arise with writing erotic material during adolescence. Additionally, I will focus on the specifics of what the adolescent creators want in their slash and why as an insight to intimate desires. This will include an explanation on ships they write for more elaborated preferences in relation with desire. EXPLORING IDENTITY

The adolescent slash writers I interviewed related their slash stories to various facets of their identity. This relation was seen and detailed by the authors themselves when discussing effects of slash. The involvement of slash fanfiction produced an inability to separate themselves from the material. My interviewee, Shiori, 16, opens this discussion with a clear connection of written slash and hirself:

I suppose that by writing slash, I found my own sexuality and such…And also, when I do xreaders…More often than not the xReader is an extension of myself therefore, yes, I always have a connection with the characters in my work.

I will briefly explain the concept of fanfiction Shiori introduces: the “xReader,” also known as ‘reader-insert’ fanfiction. This is a subgenre of fanfiction where the reader is clearly stated as taking the role of the main character and interacts with a character borrowed from an existing work. It is common for the ‘reader-insert’ character to become the love interest. As Shiori states, ze believes writing slash fanfiction led to finding hir own sexuality. The “xReader” is written with the intention to ‘insert’ the reader as the romantic interest and it is not difficult to see a direct reference to hirself when ze was the one to write it. This allows an experience of varying levels of intimacy through a proxy character which aided Shiori’s discovery of desires.

Another interviewee, Ashanti, 13, relays a similar experience of how writing slash fanfiction is part of their intimate life:

I guess it helps me to relate to my own life, and it’s a way to rebel at the same time. My parents are both Christian, and they think that if some one that’s not straight (like myself) are confused. My mom is disgusted with the thought of two people that are the same sex being together.

Ashanti is direct to her claim that slash fanfiction helps relate to her sexuality. She describes writing slash as an act of rebelling, stemming from the fact that she is “not straight,” and this action is at odds with the wishes of her parents. Writing slash, for Ashanti, is an expressive outlet of sexuality that cannot be found in her daily life.

The claim of slash fanfiction relating to their own sexuality continues with my youngest interviewee, Sidney, 12: “It helped me figure out my sexuality and not be afraid of it.” Sidney’s comments show that slash, with its focus on homosexuality, provides an exposure to sexuality. The continued expression through slash fanfiction was an encouragement for Sidney to “not be afraid of [her sexuality].”

With the relation to sexuality and interpretations in desires, there is an awareness of acknowledging intimate preferences within slash fanfiction. This can be seen with Devon, 14, responding to her preference of slash fanfiction with all capitals:

I AM A DIRTY SINNER! I SHALL ALWAYS BE A DIRTY SINNER FOR LIFE

Devon labels herself as a “sinner” when she creates sexual content despite. ‘Sin’, in the context of fandom, through my own personal experiences and research, is used by fan creators who are aware that they have an interest in something that may be reprehensible. With Devon’s statement, she regards the homoerotic content she creates with enthusiasm as shown in the choice to use caps. It is an explicit connection to the sexual scenes with the phrase “dirty sinner” to display a preference.

Beyond recognizing the sexuality identification of the writers, it is important to not overlook their age as another factor of idenity. Their youth is something in which those I interviewed commented on openly as seen in Sidney’s, 12, interview:

Me: How is it like writing mature slash fanfiction at your age? Sidney: I HAVE NO SHAME

Sidney is the youngest of my interviewees and holds, as she states, “no shame” in creating ‘mature’ slash. She is very much aware of the sexual content within slash fanfiction and her age does not bother her as she is proud of her interest. This is further elaborated with her choice to

use all capitals in the answer. The glee Sidney has in the lack of “shame” she has in writing mature slash expresses a denouncement of any negative opinions on creating erotic slash. For Sidney, there is little difficulty in participating in slash. Others did note of a challenge as Shiori, 16, explains:

It was a bit awkward at first, but it’s fine now xD It’s just another way of expressing myself.

The difficulty encountered by Shiori was an “awkward” feeling when ze began to write slash. However, as ze continued to write, the production of slash became less of an issue. After a familiarity developed, ze relates hir slash fanfiction as “just another way of expressing” hirself. Shiori is aware of the avenue of expression which slash allows and encourages. The emoticon “xD” is a face with an open smile and eyes tightly shut on its side. In my personal experiences, it is meant to convey laughing and extends to Shiori’s joy of writing slash.

Describing the initial venture into slash as “awkward” reappears in another interview. Here, Tracy, 15, explores more:

Well. Sometimes it's a bit awkward and I don't know how exactly everything works (feeling wise) because I've never experienced anything sexual in my life.

For Tracy, slash becomes awkward because of a lack of understanding physical intimacy. There is acknowledgment in the discrepancy of writing sexually explicit content as ze doesn’t “know how exactly everything works” because ze has “never experienced anything sexual.” Not having first-hand intimate knowledge of sexual activity is the only “awkward” part of writing slash during this age for Tracy although interpreting sexual expression within a story is not.

Despite the discomfort that is experienced when first participating in slash, it is immediately overcome and accepted as a valid form of expression. There has been little acknowledgment for the writer's and my interviewee, Kiran, 14, does not think age is a relevant factor for writing slash:

I don’t really care all that much. I feel like age has nothing to do with it but maybe that’s just me.

Kiran has no qualms in participating within slash fandom at her age. She does not care about her age because she feels “like age has nothing to do with” slash. It is a reasoning that age

restrictions have no place in the production and consumption in slash.

As discussed earlier, there are interviewees with little to no conflicts in writing slash and remark on enjoying fanfiction. Here, my interviewee Leslie, 15, praises the expression in slash:

It’s so cute and I just love to fantasize things on my own. I’m not really open about it, cause I am still young, even I confess that but I love it. I can’t go back on it. I’m hooked for life.

Her age does not inhibit her desire to continue writing “fantasies.” Although, she possesses some hesitancy to share her appreciation for slash with others due to her age. Leslie knows she could be considered too young to be creating and enjoying the sexual content that she is involved with, but she can not stop her love for it. Slash creation does not let her desire be restricted despite her age.

The relevance of age as a factor to enjoying slash varies in the interviews discussed while still discussing a preference for slash. During the interviews, previous respondents didn’t

contemplate on the subject for long. This is not true for the following interview with Indigo, 15, displaying a sense of uncertainty:

Sometimes enjoyable. Sometimes uncomfortable. I'm assuming you're implying mature to mean sexual. It really does depend on my current mood and context in which smut is being written.

Smut, as explained in the previous chapter as an interchangeable term for sexual scenes within slash, once again varies in how it’s being written. Indigo clarifies the creation of sexual content can be either “enjoyable” or “uncomfortable.” She feels there will be conflict in writing slash if sex is written outside of the conventions she finds fit in the story. Indigo provides elaboration on how they perceive these feelings:

Indigo: Yes. I'm guilty of writing porn, though I am somewhat uncomfortable with the idea. Sometimes readers deserve a little break from all the seriousness, though. So I push through for them. Me: This is interesting because you focus on the readers. […] You write the porn because that's what the readers want?

Indigo: Pretty much. It's not usually something I enjoy or particularly aim for, so I do it as a break from the story. […] And it can be fun on occasion, but not very often.

This understanding is different with a choice keyword that separates this interview from the previous: “guilty.” Consider an earlier response mentioning the implicit acknowledgment in using the descriptor “sinner.” Indigo knows she is “guilty” of writing sexual content. When sex is incorporated in her slash, it is dependent on the audience of her writing. She does not deny that