Work-family balance in narrative premarital counselling: a postfoundational practical theological approach

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Work-family balance in narrative premarital

counselling: A postfoundational practical

theological approach

PJ VISSER

orcid.org/ 0000-0002-5821-3143

Thesis submitted for the degree Doctor of Philosophy in

Pastoral Studies

at the North-West University

Promoter:

Dr HE Pienaar

Co-promoter:

Prof dr FP Kruger

Graduation May 2018

26328348

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I wish to express my appreciation and thanks to my promoters Dr. H.E. Pienaar and Prof. F.P. Kruger. This thesis would not have been possible without your advice and encouragement. To my heavenly Father thank you for the opportunity to share Your love and grace through full-time ministry. Your grace has guided me through trying full-times and made the joys and successes even greater. It is a privilege to be invited into the narratives of others.

Especially I would like to thank my wife, (Dr.) Jeané Visser, for her encouragement, care and support throughout this process. Your understanding and advice on this journey: in life and the process of writing a PhD is of unmeasurable value. I am eternally grateful to God for allowing us to share our lives with each other and look forward celebrating our mutual successes.

I am grateful to my child, Dandré, who added to my work-family balance story and helped me in reaffirming my life values. I am looking forward to fun and exciting times spent together.

Prof. D.J. Human and Prof. E. van Eck, from the Biblical studies departments of the University of Pretoria, and Dr. J. Meyer, from the Practical Theology department of the University of the Free State, thank you very much for your advice, it is of inestimable value.

To my mother; Marietjie Visser, in-laws; André and Jeanette Olivier and friends: your support through the process of our studies and understanding of our absence at gatherings are greatly appreciated. We love you so much and look forward to spending more time together.

Thank you to the congregation of NG Wierdapark for your support and encouragement with this study.

To the couples and interdisciplinary team that were willing to share their insights and stories with us, I am incredibly grateful for your openness and willingness to take part in the journey of this study. I have learned so much from you and I am certain so will others.

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ABSTRACT

This study aimed at addressing the research gap found between the combination of premarital counselling, work-family balance and narrative therapy. The central research problem addressed considered the contribution narrative counselling can make towards work-family balance for premarital couples who have the intention of getting married.

This study employed research methods from the qualitative research design, and more specifically from the pastoral care division of practical theology and narrative therapy, in exploring the above issues. The epistemologies of social constructionism, postfoundational practical theology and the narrative approach guided the research in creating a route for premarital narrative counselling.

The primary researcher utilised the transversal space allowed by postfoundational practical theology to include the voices of various fields of study, which included a Biblical social-science background, business science, the narratives of premarital couples and an interdisciplinary team that reflected on those narratives.

With the use of metaphors that co-researchers created themselves, through the course of narrative counselling, the primary researcher embarked on a journey with the co-researchers in the construction of a preferred alternative narrative.1 The metaphors which the couples created incorporated both the realities of work expectations and relationship values chosen by them. The metaphors that couples chose guided them towards a co-created future to live their lives in a preferred and satisfying manner that they agreed on. This narrative process constituted an aid in couples’ communication through the values chosen by premarital narrative counselling and extended the conversation by creating an approach for pastoral counsellors in facilitating conversations with premarital couples on work and family life.

Keywords: Narrative Premarital Counselling, Postfoundational Notion of Practical Theology,

Postfoundationalism, Practical Theology, Premarital Counselling, Social Constructionism, Work-Family Balance

1_{It is for relational-ethical reasons that postmodern narrative researchers do not refer to people’s lives,}

their stories, as data unless for the purpose of relating (translating) the concepts back for a dominant potentially modernistic audience. This will be discussed in more detail in the thesis.

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OPSOMMING

Hierdie studie het ten doel om die navorsingsgaping in die kombinasie van voorhuwelikseberading, werk-gesinsbalans en narratiewe terapie aan te spreek. Die sentrale navorsingsprobleem spreek die bydrae wat narratiewe berading kan maak ten opsigte van die werk-gesinsbalans vir paartjies wat die behoefte van ‘n huweliksverhouding uitspreek.

Die studie maak van die navorsingsmetodes van kwalitatiewe navorsingsontwerp gebruik, meer spesifiek: die pastorale sorg afdeling van praktiese teologie, om bogenoemde sake na te vors. Die epistemologië van sosiale konstruktivisme, postfondamentele praktiese teologie en die narratiewe benadering lei die navorsing om ‘n roete vir voorhuwelikse-, narratiewe berading te skep.

Die primêre navorser maak gebruik van die transversale ruimte wat die postfondamentele benadering tot praktiese teologie toelaat om die stemme van verskeie navorsingsgebiede in te sluit, nl. Bybelse sosio-historiese agtergrond, besigheidswetenskap, die verhale van voorhuweliksepaartjies en van die interdissiplinêre span wat op die paartjies se narratiewe reflekteer het.

Die gebruik van metafore, wat die paartjies self vir hulle verhoudings (deur middel van narratiewe berading) geskep het, het die primêre navorser toegelaat om op reis te gaan met mede-navorsers in die samestelling van verkose alternatiewe verhoudingsverhale.2_Hierdie

metafore wat paartjies geskep het, het die realiteit van hulle werksverwagtings sowel as verhoudingswaardes, wat die paartjies gekies het, ingesluit. Die metafore het paartjies begelei tot ‘n toekomsnarratief wat deur beide saamgestel is om hulle lewe saam in te rig dat beide daardeur bevredig sal word. Hierdie narratiewe proses het voordele vir paartjies se kommunikasievaardighede aangedui, as gevolg van die gemeenskaplike verhoudingswaardes wat deur hulle gekies is. Dit het ook die gesprek oopgemaak deur ‘n benadering daar te stel vir pastorale beraders en versorgers om voorhuwelikse paartjies se gesprekke oor hulle werks- en gesinslewe te fassiliteer.

Sleutelterme: Narratiewe Voorhuwelikse Berading, Postfondamentele Beweging in Praktiese

Teologie, Postfondamentalisme, Praktiese Teologie, Sosiale Konstruktivisme, Voorhuwelikse Berading, Werk-Gesinsbalans

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LIST OF FIGURES

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CHAPTER 1 ORIENTATION AND PROBLEM STATEMENT

1.1 Background and problem statement

1.1.1 Background or context

Within a postfoundational approach to practical theology3_{(where narratives are emphasised),}

the background is referred to as the context of a certain problem or phenomenon (Müller, 2011b:2; Park, 2010:1). The context of the research is set against the background of the interplay between personal and work lives. Literature refers to this interplay as work-life balance (Soni, 2013:35; Waumsley, et al., 2010:2). Postfoundational practical theology is serious about practical theology being a contextual theology (Müller, 2005:75; Müller, 2004:294). This study focused on how couples tell and live their stories – how they integrate their family stories in their relationship and how they combine work and family narratives.

In pastoral care people are helped to create meaning or make sense of their lives. The pastoral narrative therapist could help through assisting in creating narratives and helping others to communicate them (Menken-Bekius, 2016:81). Nullens (2015:50-51) emphasises the role of communication in pastoral care. Pembroke (2013:25) in turn noticed that the narrative approach to counselling has been underplayed in the past and that the hermeneutical possibilities in creating meaning or sense of one’s life could lead conversation partners4 to new perspectives. Narrative therapy, as it is explored in this study, finds itself in the postfoundational approach to practical theology (Müller, 2004:293).

Postfoundational practical theology is an epistemological paradigm created by Julian Müller (2004:279) that is based on Van Huyssteen’s (1997:4) application of postfoundationalism to theology. Müller (2005:73) postulates that practical theology is something that happens where there is a reflection on practice, within the consciousness of God’s presence. It needs to stay connected to the basic forms of theological reflection, but at the same time move beyond the rationalistic and modernistic boundaries of its past. He, therefore, sees postfoundationalist practical theology as a necessary contribution to the understanding of practical theology (Müller, 2005:73), and in this context particularly the discipline of pastoral care and counselling.

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Context, as described in postfoundational practical theology, requires specific people whose lives and relationships are honoured by a well-suited narrative approach for a proper description in the process of knowledge creation (Müller, 2004:295). A narrative paradigm (as part of a postfoundational notion of practical theology) is therefore intimately part of the context. The stories of specific lives become the context. Furthermore, the research is informed by the notion of Christian marriage in the Dutch Reformed Church.

1.1.1.1 Epistemology

This section explores the transition to the hermeneutical and practical theological understanding of hermeneutics as a matter of epistemological understanding. It is, therefore, imperative to investigate this hermeneutical evolution in the field of practical theology.

Epistemology relates to how we acquire knowledge, how we understand it, what we know about knowledge and how we interpret the knowledge. As such the epistemology acts as legitimisation of the problem statement, setting the background in which it will be explored. Epistemology also asks who is knowledgeable and who creates knowledge (Van Der Westhuizen, 2008:13). It investigates how we know what we claim to know and how we regard it as truthful (Richter, 2010:9). The first chapter, concerned with background, positioning, research design and methodology could be described as the suburb in which the house of this study resides (positioning) and the building plan (research design and methodology). In this chapter the first movement (“A specific context is described”) of a postfoundational notion of practical theology is used to introduce the research topic and explain the epistemology that will be used throughout this study (cf. Müller, 2004:300). This is an important focal point as it indicates the style in which this “house of enquiry” will be built. When designing a house, the style in which it is built leads the overall “feel” of how the house will be perceived and lived in. Certain stylistic features complement each other and others do not. These stylistic elements will be referred to and explained in the different chapters where their influence is mostly visible: social constructionism and narrative approach (Chapter 2) and postfoundational practical theology (Chapter 3).

Alcoff (1998:preface) described epistemology as a philosophical enquiry into knowledge’s nature, what we mean when we claim something to be true and how we justify belief. Elgin (1998:28) in turn describes epistemology as “the study of nature, scope and the utility of knowledge”. Audi (2010:1) links epistemology and the creation of knowledge with the theory of justification, which is in turn connected to perception, memory and other elements of human life. To form a knowledge base within a study like this, epistemology and an explicit exploration of the theoretical points of departure should be clearly defined. The theoretical paradigms used

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within this study will inevitably influence the method of research: how data is collected and analysed or interpreted (Meyer, 2010:40).

Within the type of investigation that I am conducting, namely postfoundational narrative research, an important influence as to where I arrived at such a research topic as work-family balance within the context of narrative premarital counselling, needs to be presented. This has a direct influence as to where I draw my concept of knowledge from.

In narrative research as well as in narrative therapy the primary researcher should be aware of his or her own stories and how these influence the stories they choose to tell. A narrative researcher should be aware of their own context and knowledge, and that it differs from the context of their co-researchers (Müller, 2004:301). It is accepted in narrative research to include the reference to the researcher in the first person, as an acknowledgement of the influence the researcher has in the context of research (Van Der Westhuizen, 2008:12; Müller, 2011a:58; Pienaar, 2015:153). I, therefore, find it relevant to include part of my own story (as I did earlier and will do in the autoethnographic reflections on the different chapters) and interest in this study in this field of premarital counselling and work-family balance.

In this narrative study, I utilised the insights of Müller (1996:22), by which our lives and identities are constructed and interpreted through the stories we choose to tell about our lives. It is therefore explored how the work and family stories of premarital couples have an impact on their relationships. According to Demasure and Müller’s (2006:412) hermeneutic interpretation of Ricœur, couples’ interpretation of their stories of the past will influence how they see their future together (Müller, 1996:111). This study focuses on how couples tell and live their stories – how they integrate their family stories in their relationship – how they combine work and family narratives.

Osmer (2008:4) describes four core tasks of practical theology:

1. The descriptive-empirical task. Focused on gathering information that helps the practical

theologian to recognise patterns or certain dynamics in a situation or context.

2. The interpretive task. Relying on theories of the arts and sciences to explain why this

pattern or dynamics are occurring.

3. The normative task. Making use of theological concepts of above-mentioned patterns and

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Within the sphere of a postfoundational practical theology study, relying on the concepts of social constructionism, Osmer’s four core tasks are limiting as they do not take the epistemology of social constructionism and postfoundationalism (that knowledge is created socially, relying on all partners of the research conversation equally and that social context, discourse and the role of power involved in the creation of knowledge) into consideration (Van Der Westhuizen, 2008:29-31). Furthermore Osmer’s (2008:4) four questions: “What is going on?”, “Why is this going on?”, “What ought to be going on?” and “How might we respond?” are limiting to postfoundational practical theology study, when compared to Julian Müller’s (2004:300) seven movements for research in postfoundational practical theology.

Müller (2004:300-304) has identified seven movements to be used within the sphere of postfoundational practical theology that will be utilised as a guide in this study:

1. A specific context is described.

2. In-context experiences are listened to and described.

3. Interpretations of experiences are made, described and developed in collaboration with co-researchers.

4. A description of experiences is made as it is continually informed by theological and other traditions of interpretation.

5. The religious and spiritual aspects – experiences of the presence of God – are reflected on.

6. A description of experience is thickened through interdisciplinary investigation. 7. Alternative interpretations are developed that point beyond the local community.

The seven movements for postfoundational practical theology study developed by Müller (2004:302-304) will be used as a guideline for the methodology of this study. Pienaar (2012:242) describes the effect of the development of practical theology as an ideal space and discipline for fostering interdisciplinary participation.

1.1.1.1.1 Hermeneutic evolution in practical theology

Osmer (2008:20) explains the hermeneutic approach to practical theology as one that was initially focused on the interpretation of ancient texts. Because of the increasing gap between the cultural and historical eras of the past and present (especially realised in the scientific and industrial ages), the differences and a need for understanding increased with the gap. He also

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explained how the field of hermeneutics expanded: from the interpretation of ancient texts, to people in everyday life, to a dimension in different areas of study.

Osmer (2008:21) explains that Heidegger “portrayed this interpretive activity as grounded in the already interpreted world into which human beings are born and socialized”. Considering the hermeneutical dimension of scholarship, Osmer (2008:22) explains how Gadamer (a student of Heidegger) argued that “all interpretation begins in already interpreted world.” Gadamer (1975) therefore questioned the preconceived ideas and limitations of modern science since the Enlightenment prescribed to scientists – compromising their objectivity. Osmer (2008:22) elaborates that in scientific enquiry research traditions dictates that a scientist use the particular language, conceptual framework and research practices in his or her inquiry. It is imperative that the researchers acknowledge their interpretive point of departure, as dictated by the tradition of research. Osmer (2008:22), therefore, criticised the Enlightenment’s “prejudice against prejudice” that denied the contributive role of “preunder-standing” (sic).

Gadamer (1975:310-325) created a hermeneutical circle of interpretation for academic study, comprising the following five movements:

1. Pre-understanding;

2. The experience of being brought up short; 3. Dialogical interplay;

4. Fusion of horizons; and 5. Application.

The influence of Van Huyssteen’s (1997; 2000) work on postfoundational theology and practical theology has opened up new avenues for interpretation in practical theology. Julian Müller (2004) found inspiration in the work of Van Huyssteen and chose to move beyond the hermeneutical work of Gadamer (1975) and Heidegger (1988).

Müller (2004:294; 2005:74-75) finds the hermeneutical approach to practical theology limiting and problematic, he motivates the following reasons:

• Like Bleicher (1980:191), Müller (2004:294) finds the hermeneutical approach inadequate in situations where a continued distortion of communication through the use of language is

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• It lacks the ability to provide Practical Theology with contextual outcomes and creates “theories for praxis” that are “distant from the real world” (Müller, 2005:75). Müller (2004:294) states that a hermeneutical approach to practical theology that negates context leaves theology with mere “theoretical abstractions”.

• The hermeneutical approach to practical theology is rooted in and mainly influenced by Dutch and German scholars and is estranged from the South African context and history with the struggle against apartheid. A more contextual and holistic approach is needed (Müller, 2004:294).

Cain, Holland, Lachicotte and Skinner (1998:52) emphasise the importance of acknowledging social construction that determines knowledge within a specific context. Wilson (2015:894) argues that this is a hermeneutically influenced perspective of culture, as meaning and knowledge is created socially. She states: “People interpret and come to understandings within a set of meanings, rather than a fixed body of meanings existing somewhere outside of people.” A choice is therefore rather made for a postfoundational, narrative approach for Practical Theology as it acknowledges the importance of context within the construction of knowledge (Müller, 2004:295). The hermeneutical or interpretive ability that the narrative approach brings to the table respects the voice of participants, as narrative enquiry is a process of co-creation between the primary researcher and participants (Wiklund, 2010:67). As will be described the narrative approach finds itself embedded within the worldview of social constructionism. This is an ideal fit within the scope of postfoundational practical theology (Dreyer, 2014:2-3), as will be described. In line with how Gräb (2005:182) explained Schleiermacher’s influence on modern practical theology, it opens this field of study to explore the praxis of human life from a perspective of Christian religion.

The key elements such as the narrative approach, social constructionism (see 2.1.1) and postfoundational practical theology (see 1.1.1.2.4 and 3.1), therefore, need to be described to understand how qualitative research fits within this theoretical framework within the seven movements that Müller (2004:302-304) suggests, as it in this case applies to premarital counselling.

1.1.1.1.2 Narrative approach

Meyer (2010:93) explains narrative as a frame of reference which we use to organise our life experiences. Stories, parables and legends have been used for ages to communicate important life lessons, values and information (Burns, 2005:3). Burns (2005:4) further explains that we as a species use stories to explain our world and origin. This helps us in the process of defining our world – shaping our identity. This is underlined by Wiklund-Gustin (2010:32) who describes

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the narrative approach as an epistemology which has ontological outcomes. She emphasises that the narrative approach should not be reduced to a mere methodology, although it certainly has methodological implications, but should be seen as an epistemology in its own right (Wiklund-Gustin, 2010:32).

Lena Wiklund (2010:61) explained narrative hermeneutics as an interpretive approach that focuses on a person’s understanding of being in the world. This incorporates meanings that are designated to life events and includes the narrative process of conveying these meanings to others.

Francois Lyotard (1984:29f) described a symbiotic relationship between the use of narrative and so-called scientific knowledge, wherein narrative creates a space that the description of absolutes is not required, like in the case of positivistic and modernistic knowledge (cf. Meyer, 2010:93). The narrative approach, as an alternative construction of epistemology, can be seen as a liminal space in the creation of a holistic understanding of knowledge and the description of reality (Meyer, 2010:93).

From Ricœur’s (1984; 1988) writings, Wilson (2015:888-893) highlighted how cultural narratives and narrative identity are enriched. In using narratives as data, she has identified the following influence from Ricœur’s preunderstandings (1984) as a heuristic:

1. to identify cultural meanings that become resources for participants’ positioning work; 2. to ground the identified cultural meanings in participants’ experiences; and

3. to understand participants’ interpretations of constraint and agency within that context. Ricœur’s main research on fictive text and literature does not exclude using his research and theories of interpretation on qualitative data or life history. His interest in personal identity surpasses theory that is only limited to the interpretation of texts and literature, but through interpreting texts and the questioning of one’s narrative identity as an understanding of the self or self-knowledge can lead to self-interpretation (Wiklund-Gustin, 2010:32-33). Wilson (2015:892) explains that people’s identity is communicated through narrative, when people communicate their interpretation of experiences and their identity (how they perceive themselves). This is done either in congruence with or with resistance to the way other people perceive one’s identity. This process of “storying” one’s identity is, therefore, one of convincing oneself and the listener of your story of one’s evaluation of your identity.

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had (Van der Westhuizen, 2008:20). This underlines Ricœur’s (1984) theory of configuration or memesis, where events are strung together in the formation of narrative, as an act of hermeneutics. Ganzevoort (2012:216) emphasises the influence of Ricœur’s hermeneutical philosophy on practical theology, in the sense that it takes the narrative structure of how we understand our lives into account and additionally regards meaningful action and identity as “text”. In order to configure these narratives, the elements of structure, symbolism and temporality are used (Wilson, 2015:889-891). Michael White (1993:36) originally linked narrative and identity by stating that stories provide structure to people’s lives. Freedman and Combs (1996b:268) stress the importance of narrative by stating that the story of “self” is constructed socially – in relationship with other people (cf. Van Der Westhuizen, 2008:20).

This identity or description of a narrative is not only limited to a single person but is used for groups as well. Demasure and Müller (2006:412) use the example of Jewish people’s identity, which is closely linked to the description they find in texts they have created, to describe themselves as a people. Ganzevoort (2012:214) elucidate how ritual and liturgy form part of the narrative that shapes identity within a congregational setting. Meyer (2010:94) explains that identity is, therefore, constructed by the dominant discourses of one’s society or social group and that people construct stories about themselves and their experiences, including their interpretation of those experiences, in a specific context that is influenced by different traditions. People understand their life as if it were a story (Ganzevoort, 2012:216).

The narrative approach focuses on the meaning people assign to stories or life events (Mills & Sprenkle, 1995:373). The nuance in how people choose to tell their stories is the concern of the narrative therapist, as identity is shaped by the dominant stories (Morgan, 2000:7). It is through stories that people can re-author their lives (Freedman & Combs, 1996b:11). People or groups could also become entrenched in the dominant story of problem or loss, particularly when knowledge or beliefs are taken for granted (Swart, 2013:3). Particular meaning is formed by the use of certain and specific narratives people present of a certain given situation. Wilson (2015:889) explains that in the construction of a narrative, the conversation partner adds meaning through describing why events happened, are happening or will happen.

Meyer (2010:94) continues by saying that people’s narrative identity is used as a template or a resource centre from which they will interpret events that happened in the past or will occur in the future. The importance of narrative or stories should therefore not be underestimated as a platform of change, because the sharing of stories is linked to the creation of relationships, changing of ideas and future behaviour as well as having an influence in understanding (Burns, 2005:4).

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Within the narrative approach, certain key concepts are vital and will be explained as part of the positioning for this study. Anderson and Goolishian’s (1992:26) reference to a “not-knowing position” underlines the inquisitiveness required for a narrative study. Interdisciplinarity or transversality (Müller, 2009a:204) aids the narrative approach in taking hands with other fields of study in search of liminal spaces to make changes within a system practically viable. The search for stories of meaning (Morgan, 2000:6) aids people within these liminal spaces to create new stories and possibilities for the future.

The narrative approach is positioned within a postfoundational framework and broadly within a postmodern frame of reference. Freedman and Combs (1996b) have further placed the narrative approach within the sphere of social constructionism and Grimell (2017:97) acknowledged the liminal space the narrative approach opens for discussion between the fields of psychology and theology (both will be explored later in this chapter). The collection and evaluation of research data, therefore, should be done with the intent of being socially constructed.

My research participants (in the narrative approach called co-researchers) are considered as experts on their own stories and the primary interpreters of the relationships they engage in. They are not seen as “objects of research” or simply respondents but rather creators or co-researchers, whose understanding of their own stories is as important as other voices in my research. Van den Berg (2010:18) acknowledges a symbiotic relationship between the primary researcher and co-researchers in a narrative enquiry. Co-researchers, therefore, should not be pathologised or victimised, as they are an integral part of the research and should be respected as such (Graham, 2000:112). In this study the conversation and research partners’ stories will be used in a process of co-creation, to add meaning to the way they understand their relationship and work-family balance.

1.1.1.1.3 Pastoral narrative approach

Brunsdon (2010:16) argues for a Biblically inspired narrative approach that stays true to the epistemology of practical theology. Ganzevoort (2012:214) finds three dimensions in narrative approaches that emphasise their use in a theological setting: their use in practical ministry and religious communication (preaching and pastoral care), empirical analysis and deconstruction of religious subjectivity and the empowering of marginalised voices. To the latter Louw (2012:5) stresses the liberating function of pastoral care, helping to free people from “slavery”, situations of victimhood and aiding in the facilitation of change. Brunsdon (2009:3) adds that the Biblical

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Bible. Through narrative, people’s sense of lifelikeness is addressed by creating specific real-life scenarios, which are not always addressed through the absolute or generality of something like commandments or prohibitions. Graham (2006:860) emphasises the added need for faith formation in the Church that could be addressed through the formation of identity; in this sense the narrative approach should be able to aid local congregations. This adds to Gräb’s (2006:52) understanding of religion as a process of finding meaning and self-understanding. In this study the co-researchers’ stories of God and religion became clearly visible in the couples’ narratives of their relationships. The primary researcher, in facilitating the conversations, brought his expertise, as congregational minister, to the conversations in opening the couples’ relationship metaphors to Biblical narratives that were used in their wedding sermons.

The narrative approach should not only be used to analyse and interpret verbal forms of narrative, like life stories, sermons and Biblical Text, but also rituals and congregational exchanges, among others (Ganzevoort, 2012:216). To this Graham (2006:859) adds the positive influence that corporate practice, in the form of ritual and liturgy, has on the processes of healing, reconciliation, support and induction. Ganzevoort (2012:223) introduces other possibilities opened through the narrative approach, which includes the interaction it provides with Biblical theology, seeing people as “living human documents”, accentuating the internalised narratives of people and God. Additionally, it aids the discussion between Biblical science and social science. In this sense Graham (2006:860) emphasised the social responsibility of the Christian Church by strengthening congregants’ identity through faithful vocational work in their everyday life.

Brunsdon (2010:15) finds the encounter between God and man imperative in the pastoral space. To this Ganzevoort (2012:220) adds the human nature of stories between God and men as they are found in the Bible; this adds to the reader’s experience of living before God (coram

Deo). Furthermore, Biblical narratives could confront the narratives of readers, challenging us to

reconsider or reframe our own stories. Louw (2012:5) adds that the hermeneutical perspective pastoral counsellors could add to the pastoral discussion could aid people’s concepts and perceptions about God. Scholars like H. Richard Niebuhr, Hans W. Frei and George Lindbeck brought attention to the narrative nature of Biblical stories over the tendency to reduce Biblical narratives to mere generalisations of morality. Shillebeeckx and Brueggeman also introduced the narrative approach to their scholarly work (Ganzevoort, 2012:217-218). Brunsdon (2009:4) adds that a pastoral narrative approach is less concerned with human potential as a change agent and allows the God narrative as found in Scripture as an important conversation partner. This does not use Scripture in the sense that it dictates a modernistic and linear view of using the Bible, but that it is invited into conversation in the process of meaning making.

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1.1.1.1.4 Narrative research

Although the general expectation of therapy would be the creation of change, this study is focused on narrative therapy with premarital couples; therefore, the goal would instead be to listen to their stories, so as to allow change to emerge rather than creating change. Listening and retelling of stories will create a space for stories and their interpretation to evolve. Change happens through co-creation and is not a one-sided decision. Where the “action-research model” is focused on bringing forth change from the context of the researcher, narrative research sees such an intervention as a discourse of power, which should be avoided (Human, 2003:41).

The “not-knowing position” (Anderson & Goolishian, 1992:28) is an integral stance in the narrative approach. It allows the researcher to a true social-constructionist understanding of the co-researchers’ stories. The co-researchers enable the researcher to gain insight into their life stories, and the researcher is invited to see how these stories form part of the co-researcher’s reality. The danger in research as well as in therapy could be that the researcher may decide which stories are relevant and should be told. Within the narrative approach, co-researchers are invited to tell their own stories and take a decision on the relevance of their stories for their situation. The primary researcher becomes a facilitator of the space where these stories are told (Human, 2003:42).

Conclusions made in narrative research and within narrative therapy should also be done from a stance of social constructionism as it reveals discourses and power relations (Demasure & Müller, 2006:413). Conversation with different co-researchers and conversational partners were sought after before conclusions were made.

It is important that the researcher handles the couples’ narratives in a responsible and respectful way, trying to keep interpretation as close as possible to how couples experience their relationship and work (Wiklund, 2010:66). The co-researchers’ interpretation of their stories of work and family life should be respected.

Wiklund (2010:66) acknowledges that narratives lend themselves to different interpretations, with a hermeneutic tradition this is however considered a strength: confronting different meanings and creating new understanding. Narratives were reflected back towards the co-researchers, in order to fully understand what they originally intended with what was said, and to give them the opportunity of a re-imagined future story. The conclusions they made will,

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1.1.1.2 Concept clarification

The term epistemology describes how knowledge is created or which opinions are valued. In the process of an academic study this is an important aspect, especially for me as the primary researcher, to explain how I see the construction of knowledge. The different concepts that are imperative to this study are briefly explained:

1.1.1.2.1 Narrative Therapy

The narrative approach to therapy, as field of study, has an integral role in the epistemology as well as the methodology of this research. Our lives and identities are made up through stories (Müller, 1999). It is in finding the connection between these stories that we find meaning in our lives. The pastoral process, therefore, would be in facilitating the search for meaning within these stories of which our lives comprises (Müller, 1996:14).

Within our stories, some are more prominent than others. The more prominent stories form our belief system about ourselves (Morgan, 2000:5-10). Through the facilitation of these stories, people are helped to find new meaning and new identity.

The process of the pastoral family counselling course I5_{did under the supervision of Prof. Müller}

and especially learning the skill of counselling from a narrative perspective had a serious impact on how I see reality. The influence of social constructionism played a significant role in my understanding of the concept of knowledge. Social constructionism insists on a critical stance towards ways of understanding the world that are taken for granted. Vivien Burr (2003:2-5) sees social constructionism as the critical questioning of perceived objective truths. Knowledge is seen as historically, culturally, as well as socially defined. Knowledge is, according to the social-constructionist framework, something that goes hand-in-hand with social action and bound by power relations.

I now understand the concept of knowledge as something gathered within conversation (Fagan, 2010:95). Knowledge is something that depends on a certain place in time as agreed upon by a certain group of people. Knowledge could be different within another setting as the factors involved differ (Peterson, 2012:467).

5_{In narrative research as well as in narrative therapy the primary researcher should be aware of his or}

her own stories, and how that influences the stories conversation partners choose to tell. As narrative therapists, we should allow our conversation partners to take responsibility for their own lives. Narrative counsellors have the role of inviting their conversation partners to explore new horizons (Müller & Stone, 1998:331). It is therefore generally accepted to include the reference to the researcher in the first person, as an acknowledgement of the influence the researcher has on the context of research (Müller, 2011a:58; Pienaar, 2015:153; Van der Westhuizen, 2008:12). The narrative researcher should be aware of their own context and that it differs from the context of their co-researchers (Müller, 2004:301).

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This legitimises people’s stories, however small or seemingly insignificant. Within the framework of qualitative research small stories may have significance, especially when those stories help us understand a specific context (Müller, 2004:301; Struwig & Stead, 2007:12-13). Narrative research would be able to give a voice to that small story that is true for a small group of people within a certain setting (Müller, 1996:15).

1.1.1.2.2 Work-family balance

The understanding of work-family balance evolved over time. The first impression when talking about work-family balance is that work might be seen in a negative light and therefore less time should be spent at work and more time at home (Soni, 2013:36). Jain and Nair (2013:44) compares this definition to that of work-family conflict in the research of Greenhaus and Beutell (1985) that stated conflict arose when work interfered with family. Gordon (2012:7) in turn places the focus on allowing enough time for other responsibilities and thereby ensuring that work does not engulf one’s whole life. This places an emphasis on work and life functioning separately like the “separate-spheres model” of Chow and Berheide (1988:27).

Waumsley et al., (2010:2) defined work-life balance as “having sufficient control and autonomy over where, when and how you work to fulfil your responsibilities inside and outside paid work”. Clark (2000:751), linking to the later evolution of Greenhaus and Powell, defined work-family balance as “satisfaction and good functioning at work and at home, with minimum role conflict” opening up meaning to focus on balance between work and family. In this sense “work-life balance” and “work-family balance” could be used interchangeably. With this in mind, Roy (2016:81-82) defines work-family balance as “equal time, satisfaction, and involvement in each of the work and family spheres irrespective of job demands, family demands, family structure, financial pressures”.

1.1.1.2.3 Premarital counselling

Various researchers in the field of family therapy see premarital counselling as beneficial in decreasing the likelihood of marital instability and increasing marital satisfaction (Stahmann & Hiebert, 1997; Stanley, 2001; Stanley et al., 2006). Tambling and Glebova (2013:331) add that couples who make use of premarital counselling or education have more satisfying relationships than those who do not.

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1.1.1.2.4

Postfoundational practical theology

The understanding of social constructionism can be said to relate to postfoundationalism. Postfoundationalism should be positioned between absolutism (fundamentalism) and relativism; it moves away from the standpoint of absolute truths and gives space for knowledge to be constructed by the people using that knowledge (Van Huyssteen, 2000:430). Postfoundationalism should be seen as a posture rather than a position (Pienaar, 2014).

The recent turn of practical theology to engage in interdisciplinary and public conversation is in line with the postfoundational turn Van Huyssteen (1997) proposed for theology (Van der Westhuizen, 2008:50). According to Van der Westhuizen (2008:51-52), van Huyssteen’s work originates “from the context of a fragmented, pluralist postmodern society”, through the dialogue between natural science and theology – through the philosophical epistemology making it possible for beneficial interdisciplinary discussion. Macallan and Hendriks (2012:194) described practical theology as moving from applied theology to becoming a sphere where it is an interdisciplinary methodology of working and has become a “natural way of doing theology”. Contextuality is very important within postfoundational research, and conversations with interdisciplinary teams are promoted (Van der Westhuizen, 2010:2). Postfoundationalism gives the opportunity to us in the field of Practical Theology to take hands with other disciplines, to listen to the questions that they would ask in a particular situation. I believe this also helps define the space for Practical Theology to operate, creating an opportunity to give meaning and to understand something within a specific context and within the socio-philosophical context of what many regard as the ultimate questions of life.

From Van Huyssteen’s (1997:4) application for postfoundationalism to theology, Müller (2004:300-304) has applied the postfoundational frame of reference to practical theology.

1.1.2 Problem statement

The Dutch Reformed Church (Clasen et al., 2010:152) regards marriage as an enduring lifelong commitment. The dismal state of marriage as an institution can be seen in often-referenced divorce statistics. According to the last national census held in 2014, the 24 689 divorces in that year is a 3.8% increase from the 2013 figures (Statistics South Africa, 2016:6). The divorce rate has a clear increase since 2011 after the significant drop in reported divorces in 2010 (Statistics South Africa, 2016:35). The 2015 South African divorce statistics showed a 2.3% increase, with 25,260 completed divorce forms, form 2014 (Statistics South Africa, 2017). This left 14,045 divorces affecting children younger than 18 years of age.

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As divorce is an increasing phenomenon, not only in South Africa but around the world (Morgan

et al., 2011:220), the need to equip couples with the necessary skills to create healthy,

sustainable and satisfying marriages is also increasing. Divorce has a great impact, not only on families but also on society. The need for safe family environments is something that the Church can help society with. Couples deciding not to get married and those that have chosen to live together without getting married have become a worldwide phenomenon. Marriage is not considered the norm in society any more (Seekings, 2014:78-79) and family structure is starting to look very different than a few years ago.

Although the practice of marital counselling and premarital counselling is well known and also supported by clergy and the church in general (Koch, 2016:11), the lack of current premarital counselling programs that help couples prepare for marriage in the South African context proved a valuable topic for research (Stahmann, 2000:104).

A research gap became evident after thorough searches on databases, including EBSCOhost (that included Academic Search Premier, ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials and E-Journals) and Sabinet, using the keywords “premarital counselling” and “narrative therapy”, found no results in the combination of the two search terms. This is further supported by Stahmann (2000:104) who identified premarital counselling as a research gap in family therapy, another theoretical approach to therapy. This is, however, the only touchpoint found between a theoretical therapeutic perspective and premarital counselling (Stahmann, 2000:104).

The increased work stress on families adds additional concern to the institution of marriage. It influences couples’ relationships by adding strain symptoms, such as tension, anxiety, fatigue, depression apathy and irritability (Brief et al., 1981; Greenhaus & Beutell, 1985:80). Greenhaus and Powell (2006:88) later described the enriching experience achieved through work and family, where experiences in one role increase performance and have a positive effect on another role.

As will be discussed in the exploration of the context, study has been done on the work-family balance and how that relationship could improve (Goodwill et al., 2014). Studies have also been done on the effectivity of premarital counselling and education (Stanley et al., 2006:117-126; Stanley, 2001:272-280; Stahmann & Hiebert, 1997). There is also a research gap in the combination of work-family balance and premarital counselling. The same method to determine this research gap was used, as mentioned above. The research aims to prepare couples for marriage and equip them with the necessary communication skills and conflict resolution

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The triad this study will focus on is the combination of premarital counselling, work-family balance and narrative counselling as a method for research and of facilitating the above-mentioned.

It should be relatively clear, particularly since we are dealing with complex human behaviour that “information” as such is not the answer. The kind of research that is therefore employed tries to step away from pure information or knowledge creation and takes the direction of integration. A narrative approach seeks integration in which vivid accounts of the world of work are brought into the premarital context, accounting for the particularities of experience as it is contextually and environmentally informed. This stands in stark contrast to premarital and psychological approaches that are intra- and interpersonal and diagnostic in nature such as with the use of personality assessments, abstract disembodied conversations about family background and other usual topics (Müller & Schoeman, 2004:9). The narrative approach not only asks with Osmer (2008:4): “What’s going on, why is it going on, what should be going on, and how we might respond?” but is already developing emergent alternative outcomes.

Narrative practical theology is an ideal field for combining pastoral counselling with the social and relationship needs of the working force as it relies on the epistemologies of social constructionism (that will be described in 2.1) and postfoundationalism (that will be explored in 3.1.1) in interdisciplinary work, which will open up this research into broader fields of enquiry (Dreyer, 2014:2). As will be seen in an examination of existing literature, specifically on narrative therapy and premarital counselling, it has indicated both a paucity of academic research and a need for premarital narrative counselling focused on work-family balance.

Osmer (2008:231-240) describes the origin of practical theology as coming from an encyclopaedic approach – where it was distinguished from Biblical studies, church history and dogmatic theology/Christian ethics – acting like a silo for the practical parts of theology: how to preach, serve and care. In the late 1980s three distinct practical theological approaches were found: the confessional, correlational and contextual (Dreyer, 2012:44). In his discussion on the evolution of practical theology, Dreyer (2012:44) discussed the distinctions Heitink (1999), Dingemans (1996) and Ballard and Prichard (1996) made between the paradigms of practical theology in their time. Heitink identified five different practical theology currents, namely the normative-deductive, hermeneutical-mediative, empirical-analytical, political-critical and pastoral-theological. Dingemans, meanwhile, distinguished four different paradigms in the praxis of practical theology: clerical, church, liberation and individual. Ballard and Pritchard considered four models that comprised the practical theology of the time, namely practical theology as applied theory, critical correlation, praxis and habitus. These different perspectives of practical theology were clearly visible in the contrasting points of view between

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Afrikaans-speaking reformed theologians and black contextual theologians in the apartheid era (Dreyer, 2012:45).

Ganzevoort (2004:18) stated that in the broader theological field practical theology was, for a long time, understood as “applied theology”, adding the “layout and presentation” of other theologians’ work, making it a secondary or help-science. Van der Westhuysen (2008:47-48) recognises the hermeneutical turn in practical theology, as influenced by Heidegger (2008) and Gadamer (1975). Heitink, Browning (1995) and Pieterse added to this hermeneutical approach, with Heitink (1999) focusing on faith as the object of study, Browning seeking for a “descriptive moment” (Campbell-Reed & Scharen, 2013:234) and Pieterse (1993) describing practical theology as the communicative theory of practice. In the mid-1990s both Elaine Graham, in Great Britain, and Bonnie Miller-McLemore, from the United States of America, broadened the character of “descriptive theology” that takes the differences of power and context of lived experiences into account (Campbell-Reed & Scharen, 2013:234). This practice-orientated notion in practical theology has shifted the stigma of “applied theology” towards a scientific field in its own right that is “situated in local and concrete contexts, [that] are empirically described in order to hermeneutically provide for a contextual theological description” (Schoeman & Van den Berg, 2016:215).

In writing about pastoral care Gerkin (1991:13) makes a paradigm shift wherein practical theology is not merely aimed at the ministry practice of the church but in a broader perspective of the Church’s presence in society. This focal shift in practical theology from the theological world towards “all domains of human existence” is also supported by Schoeman and Van den Berg (2016:215). Van der Westhuizen (2008:49) describes this shift as one that makes theology public and a true interdisciplinary conversational partner.

In these broader terms Woodward and Pattison (2000:13-14) describes practical theology in the following ways:

1. A transformational activity;

2. Not just concerned with the propositional, the rational, and the logical; 3. Confessional and honest;

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7. Socio-politically aware and committed; 8. Experiential;

9. Reflectively based; 10. Interrogative; 11. Interdisciplinary;

12. Analytical and constructive; 13. Dialectical and disciplined; and 14. Skilful and demanding.

Campbell (2000:84) makes the following observations regarding practical theology:

• The focus of practical theology is the study of social structures and individual initiatives focused on revealing God’s continuing work of renewal and restitution.

• Practical theology should broaden its investigation, wider than the function of the ordained ministry, which could be limiting when seen as the norm.

• The relationship between practical theology and other theological disciplines should be seen as “lateral”, rather than “linear” as it is neither inductive nor deductive.

• Practical theology can tend to a fragmented or poorly systemised nature, due to the “situation based” method it employs.

• Practical theology tends to deliver concrete proposals in its findings.

Müller (2005:73), explains that practical theology “happens whenever and wherever there is a reflection on practice, from the perspective of the experience of the presence of God”. The recent turn of practical theology to engage in interdisciplinary and public conversation is in line with the postfoundational turn Van Huyssteen (1997) proposed for theology (Van Der Westhuizen, 2008:50). According to van der Westhuizen (2008:51-52), van Huyssteen’s work originates “from the context of a fragmented, pluralist postmodern society”, through the dialogue between natural science and theology – through the philosophical epistemology making it possible for beneficial interdisciplinary discussion. In this sense practical theology should not find it necessary to induce a form of Christianisation through its practices or investigations, as it should rather discover the (already present) presence of God (Ganzevoort, 2008:11-12; Schoeman & Van Den Berg, 2016:216). Grimell (2017:96) agrees with Ganzevoort and Roeland’s (2014:93-94) statement that the praxis of practical theology should not only be concerned with pluralised, secularised and institutionalised contexts that only focus on

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Christianity or religion, but should be open to a broader field that includes spiritual and existential practices. This makes practical theology a discipline that is concerned with the “theological study of practices with an emphasis on lived religion” (Schoeman & Van Den Berg, 2016:216).

From Van Huyssteen’s (1997:4) application for postfoundationalism to theology, Müller (2004:300-304) has applied the postfoundational frame of reference to practical theology through the seven movements he suggests. The bolded words indicate Müller’s (2004:300) emphasis in the original, indicating focus points for postfoundational practical theology:

[A] postfoundationalist theology wants to make two moves. First, it fully acknowledges contextuality, the epistemically crucial role of interpreted

experience, and the way that tradition shapes the epistemic and

nonepistemic values that inform our reflection about God and what some of us believe to be God’s presence in this world. At the same time, however, a postfoundationalist notion of rationality in theological reflection claims to

point creatively beyond the confines of the local community, group, or

culture towards a plausible form of interdisciplinary conversation. (Van Huyssteen, 1997:4)

This has led to the seven movements of postfoundational practical theology by Müller (2004:300) being divided in the following ways:

The context & interpreted experience

i. A specific context is described.

ii. In-context experiences are listened to and described.

iii. Interpretations of experiences are made, described and developed in collaboration with “co-researchers”.

Traditions of interpretation

iv. A description of experiences as they are continually informed by traditions of interpretation.

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Thickened through interdisciplinary investigation

vi. A description of experience, thickened through interdisciplinary investigation.

Point beyond the local community

vii. The development of alternative interpretations that point beyond the local community.

The praxis on how the seven movements for postfoundational practical theology have been applied within this study is discussed in the methodology.

While the narrative space is seen as a sphere of co-creation, postfoundational practical theology is seen as an ideal area for working hand-in-hand with other academic fields. Interdisciplinary work is a very important aspect of social-constructionist and narrative research, where a status of “transversal rationality” is sought after (Müller, 2009a:202-204). Research that was done with an interdisciplinary intent “has more depth and breadth than one designed by researchers from single discipline” (Mcqueen & Zimmerman, 2006:475).

The necessity for this study is justified especially by the following realities: there remains a need in narrative therapy research focused on premarital counselling, as indicated by the paucity of research; and the socio-economic situation in the South African context has had the effect that in households both husbands and wives need to be part of the workforce – placing new challenges on marriages and families in the current context (Seekings, 2014:73; Cherlin et al., 2013:214), demanding premarital preparation. Premarital counselling focused on work-family balance is an ideal study within a postfoundational practical theology methodology, as postfoundationalism strives to create transversal rationalities and work within interdisciplinary discussion.

1.2 Preliminary literature study and state of research 1.2.1 Preliminary literature study and contextualisation

In a preliminary literature study three aspects pertaining to the subject of premarital counselling focused on work-family balance are investigated: the social context of pre-marriage, the influence of work on family life and exploring the concept of premarital counselling and the benefits it could have for a couple’s work-family balance.

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1.2.1.1 The social context of pre-marriage

In the past 20 years vast changes have taken place in marital legislation; focusing on the inclusion and revision of previous disadvantaged groups within the Marriage Act No. 25 of 1961, with the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act and the Civil Union Act (Budlender et al., 2004:4; Chambers, 2000:111; De Vos & Barnard, 2007:798). Couples have, with these vast changes, changed their ideas of getting married as well. For couples in committed relationships marriage is no longer the norm, as young people are looking for financial and job stability before marriage (Seekings, 2014:73). Many committed Christian couples have chosen to take a path away from getting married or getting married after a period of living together. The study will, however, focus on heterosexual, Christian couples that have made a choice to get married. With the changes in South African marital legislation, processes of getting married in the church have followed suit (Du Toit, 2010:1-3). Gay unions have been legalised, but gay marriages have to be officiated by marriage officers from the Department of Home Affairs (DHA) as they are seen as civil partnerships and not seen in the same category as marriages (DHA 2015; De Vos & Barnard, 2007:798, 810). At the General Synod of the Dutch Reformed Church, held at Afrikaanse Hoër Seunsskool (Pretoria) in October 2015 a decision was made allowing reverends of the Dutch Reformed Church in South Africa to officiate at civil unions of gay couples and to enter into civil unions – if they were homosexual themselves (Algemene Sinode NG Kerk, 2015:32). Shortly after this decision, various appeals were made to this general meeting and the decision and implications thereof were stalled until a resolution is found (Janse van Rensburg, 2015:1).

My work in premarital counselling often involves equipping couples with communication skills, making them aware of possible relationship discourses, establishing values for the relationship and helping them understand how their specific relationship works. The added focus on a work-family balance would enhance the discussion on relationship values given the necessity (in numerous situations) where both parties in the relationship have a full-time job and have to give attention to work and family, not only for survival but to make their relationships meaningful. According to a study, out of the 2,000 Protestant pastors who were questioned on their feelings about relationship counselling competency, only 39% indicated that they felt competent in marital and relationship counselling (Schumm et al., 2010:2). Considering that in a study conducted by Stanley et al. (2001:67) as many as 75% of weddings still occur within a religious setting, the demand for pastors to equip themselves as premarital counsellors is great.

Work-family balance in narrative premarital counselling: a postfoundational practical theological approach