Shifting gender roles : Syrian women in the Netherlands

(1)

MSc political science 2017-2018

Shifting gender roles

Syrian Women in the Netherlands.

Author: Thara Wielaart

Supervisor: Dr. Jeroen Doomernik

(2)

2

Abstract

The gender ideology in most Arabic countries states a clear division in gender roles. Where women need to take care of the home and the children, men need to earn the family income and are responsible for all the public responsibilities a family has. When women from these countries migrate or, in this case, flee to a more western country. Their existing gender roles might be challenged due to the big differences with the gender ideology in the new country which could lead to conflicts within the family.

In this study I looked for an answer to the question: “To what extent does the migration of women, from Syria to the Netherlands, affect their gender roles and their perspective on gender ideology?” To answer this question, a qualitative research was conducted on a group of Syrian women that have fled to the Netherlands.

For this research, twenty-one women and six men were interviewed. Other results are based on informal conversations and observations that were made during activities undertaken with the research group.

This study shows that women have different reaction when it comes to their gender ideology after migrating to a new country. These responses can be divided into three different categories, namely: exit (leaving the ideology completely), voice (start change and protest against some aspects of the current situation) and loyalty (Stay true to their ideology). Even though it was expected that women would get empowered due to their gains in status and autonomy in the Netherlands and would want to use their voice to change their gender roles, it was shown that, as long as there are no extreme circumstances, most women, for now, stay loyal to their own gender ideology in most aspects of their lives. There are clear signs of a tendency for change but patience will be required due to several difficulties that still play an important role in the life of these women.

(3)

3

1. Introduction

A lot of research has been done on the effect that migration has on the psychological wellbeing and the sociocultural adaptation of an individual. This has mostly been examined by looking at, for example, how satisfied a specific person is in the new country and in how far he or she has acquired knowledge about the culture and the language (Hyman, Guruge & Mason, 2008; P. 149). However, ‘the majority of migrants, are not individuals but complete families’ (Ataca & Berry, 2002; P. 15). Only little research has been done on the effects of migration on relationships within a family or how couples are affected while they are adapting their marital relationship to the new circumstances within a country (Hyman, Guruge & Mason, 2008; P. 149).

Migration has a far-reaching impact on the lives of individuals as well as couples. For some women, migration may come with a lot of advantages such as: ‘increased social mobility, economic independence, and relative autonomy. Especially when a woman gains new economic and social responsibilities, this could lead to greater authority, more participation in (household) decision-making and a change in the power distribution within the family (Hyman, Guruge & Mason, 2008; P. 150). However, there are other women, who are unable to change the traditional roles and power relationship within their marriages. For them, the fact that they need to start working will only decrease their quality of life because they’re also still responsible for the household and the childcare. Therefore, even when migration has a positive effect on the social status of women, this does not necessarily mean that there is a change in their traditional ‘role as a woman’ (Hyman, Guruge & Mason, 2008; P. 150).

More research on the effect that migration has on gender roles within marital relationships is important because of ‘the high rates of marital conflict, divorce and intimate partner violence that has been reported in newcomer communities’ (Stein & Dilmaghani, 2002; Knilfeld, 1994; Kulig, 1994; Tang & Oatley, 2002; Naidoo and Dvais, 1988; Hyman, Guruge & Mason, 2008; P. 149).

The humanitarian crisis in Syria has forced over 5 million Syrians to flee the country. The majority of these refugees has sought shelter in neighbouring countries like Turkey and Lebanon but there are also a lot of people who made it to Europe (NRC, 2018). Within the Netherlands alone there were already more than 64.000 Syrians in 2016 (NRC, 2016).

(5)

5

Sunni Muslim. Research has revealed that there is a huge variation in how Muslim women live and think (Predelli, 2004). It is also shown that social contexts can influence their religious faith and practice. Therefore, it is necessary to undertake studies of religious believers and communities in local setting (Predelli, 2004; p. 474).

Especially when women from the middle-east, immigrate or, in this case, flee to a western country, there will change a lot for them. In some ways they might feel more discriminated and marginalized due to, among others, language barriers. But, in other ways they might gain more status and gain the power to act. In the home country it might, for example, not have been an option for them to work. Religious leaders and Islamic authors almost always emphasize the equal value of men and women in a complementary way. The women should take care of the house and raise the children and the men are responsible for securing the family income (Predelli, 2004; 475). The Dutch culture, however, makes it a lot easier for women to work. They will gain more legal right which could enhance their social position even more (Predelli, 2004; P. 474). The question however remains if this is what they want.

Within a country like Syria there seems to be a gender ideology that strongly implies separated roles for men and for women. Within the Netherlands the gender ideology seems to be more focused on the equality in the roles of men and women. Gender ideology refers to the expectations, values and attitudes that the people have towards being a men or a women. (Bever, 2002; P. 203). Therefore, just because it might be easier to make their gender roles more flexible, this does not necessarily mean that this is also desired by the refugees themselves.

Research by Bever (2002) has revealed that how gender roles and ideologies are contested, reinforced or renegotiated in migrant and non-migrant households. “By examining gender relations and the constructions of feminine/masculine subjectivities, they have shown how gender roles and the organization of public and private life are rapidly changing and how migration directly impacts these transformations (Bever, 2002; P. 200).

Within the literature. a separation can be seen between authors who write about the oppression of women in the Middle-East and Islam and the inequality between men and women ( Hirsi Ali, 2004); (El Rhazoui, 2018) and another segment of writers who write from a completely different perspective in which women see it as their right not to work and feel like they are the one who have the most power because they make all the decisions within the

(6)

6

family and the house (Pessar, 1995). Therefore I think it is important to see how gender ideologies shape the lives of women from the middle-east and how these ideologies change when coming into this completely different culture. This has led to the following research question: : “To what extent does the migration of women, from Syria to the Netherlands, affect their gender roles and their perspective on gender ideology? “

This question will be answered by first creating a theoretical framework where the current literature surrounding the effect of migration on gender will be outlined and afterwards the existing gender ideology and gender roles in Arabic countries and specifically Syria will be described. Based on this research, a qualitative research will be performed with Syrian women in the Netherlands using observations as well interviews.

2.Theoretical framework

2.1 Gender & Migration

Recently, scholars have called for the “engendering of transnationalism” (Mahler & Pessar; 2001); (Hondagneu-Stoelo, 2006); (Brettel, 2016). This can be described as the exploration of how gender, and the hierarchies and inequalities that are associated with it, are constructed and in how far they transform in transnational social space. The similarities and differences in how men and women participate in transnational social fields should be analysed and researched thoroughly. Men and women may, for example, experience different effects on their social status as a result of migration, this could lead them to develop different attitudes toward their home country or the host country they immigrated to (Brettel, 2016; P. 126).

Apart from the attitudes they develop towards their home and host country, it could also change the way they see their own cultural norms and ideologies. Research has shown that Immigrant families are confronted with different gender ideologies which causes transformations in their domestic gender roles and relations within the family. (Brettel, 2016; P.124). Research has shown, that for the majority of women, their positions improve in many different ways despite the difficulties that arise after migration. This could cause them to have more positive attitudes towards the new society and its rules and norms (Darvishpour, 2002). McIlwaine (2008) has researched the different transformations in gender relations that most

(7)

7

immigrants go through. She spoke to a woman, who migrated from Bolivia to England, and who told her that: “I think that here women have equality, they can do the same things as men without any problems. This is very different from where we came from. In our country, women are for the home and there they must stay” (McIlwaine, 2008; P. 12). Another migrant, a man from Colombia, described to her how first his mom did everything for him and later on his wife. “I just went along with it. But now, when I went to work in the coffee shop I learnt a lot. Now I cook, I make some really good dishes, I look after the children, sometimes I wash the dirty clothes, I mow the lawn.. and I like doing these things, I like to keep the house in good order. In Colombia, I did nothing” ( McIlwaine, 2008; P. 12).

These are examples where the transformations worked out quite positive for the men as well as for the women and their relations within the family. They were able to adapt to the new society and find a new balance in which the men were willing to do some of the work around the house while the women would also work outside the house in order to increase the family income. However, in many cases the question remains whether these changes were forced due to the need for money or if there was actually a change in their ideology surrounding gender roles. Pessar (1995) for example researched this topic among Dominican immigrants in the United States and noticed that they talked about men “helping” at home and women “helping” to earn money outside the home. This indicates that their ideology about the primary roles of a man or a woman may not have changed. This is confirmed when she shows that none of her research participants wanted to suggest that “men could or should act as women’s equals in the domestic sphere”. One woman in her research stated: “I know of cases where the man assumes the housekeeping and childcare responsibilities. But I do not believe a man can be as good as a woman, she is made for the home and the man is made to work (Pessar 1995; 53). Bever (2002) confirms in her research that despite the fact that the role of women is being reconstructed, the traditional gender ideologies are continued to be upheld by the majority of men and women.

This indicates that, even though, women might get a job, this does not necessarily mean that gender ideologies have changed. For some women, getting a job only increases their workload. Feminist scholars have called this the “double day” (Brettel, 2016; p. 126). This means they are still responsible for the full burden of childcare and all the work around the home but somehow are forced to combine this with a job outside the house because the extra income is needed. In some cases, it might even go further than an increased workload for

(8)

8

women. The women’s economic contribution to the family and their increased freedom might make their husband feel less appreciated. It is shown in several studies that men who feel marginalized and experience discrimination in the new country will exert patriarchal control over their wives and daughters because it feels like their family is the only place where they still have power. When they lose control in the public sphere, the desire to control the domestic sphere will only increase (Akpinar, 2003; 435). The men’s traditional privileges are threatened while their wives gain more rights and experience increased autonomy. Some of the men experience this as something shameful and therefore might end up using physical and psychological violence towards women in order to protect their honour (Akpinar, 2003; 427) (Hyman, Guruge & Mason, 2008). Abdi (2014), for example, described in his research how men from Somalia felt emasculated in the US. They felt like their authority was being undermined by their own low status jobs and by the fact that their wives were working outside the house. Sociologists Mahdi (1999) and Mobasher (2012) describe how Iranian women see their own homes as a battleground where all the existing tensions sometimes lead to violence. One Iranian woman living in the US stated that: “Iranian women in the US live in an inferno and are tormented, torn between individual freedom encouraged by the American culture and familial commitments and expectations cultivated by the Iranian culture” (Brettel, 2016; P. 144).

However, where men mostly feel like they are losing power in the new country, women might get empowered. Even though, some women might have lost some of their power within the home due to language barriers, they have also gained more legal power which will increase their independence and status within the family (Predelli, 2004). They are able to work outside the house which would never have been possible in their own countries. This increases their autonomy and independence and they are no longer forced to stay with their husband. Some of these women might even dare to start challenging the inequality and the unequal division of workload within the family (Brettel, 2016). Besides the economic gains that women might have in the new country, their legal rights also increase. An example is a research from Hirsch (2003) where she observes a group of Hispanic abused women. Most of the women have either already left their husband or are planning to do so and stated how that never would have been an option in their own home country. They learned that in their new country it was possible to use the law to defend yourself. They learned for example about restraining orders and court-mandated child support. (Hirsch, 2003; p. 202). Their new economic opportunities

(9)

9

in combination with their human rights made it possible for them to stand up for themselves and get out of an abusive relationship (Hirsch, 2003). A final important aspect that helped them was the anonymity they had when living in a big city. Most were coming from small villages where there is a lot of social control and in many cultural contexts, it is strongly discouraged for a woman to break up a marriage. Now that they got away from this community it made it easier for them to for example leave their husband (Brettel, 2016; P. 146). However, Akpinar (2003) in turn describes how Turkish immigrants living in Sweden are still facing a lot of gossiping and control from their own ethnic community which makes it harder for them to leave old values behind.

Next to ethnicity, another important aspect that might influence the transformation after migration is religion. Literature on Muslim women, for example, has shown that there is a large variation in the way Muslim women live and think which can partly be explained by the place they live. Because the social context a person lives in influences their religious faith and practice, it is therefore important to research religious immigrants and communities in local setting (Predelli, 2004; P. 474).

Because of the huge differences that exist between the transformations that occur within immigrant families, it is important to explore how immigration affects the masculine and feminine identity of the family members and their status of separate groups of migrant with different classes and racial or religious backgrounds (Brettel, 2016; P. 126).

2.2 Gender ideology in the Arab world

‘Gender ideology refers to the expectations, values and attitudes attributed to being male or female’ (Bever, 2002; P. 203). Gender ideology differs all over the world, however, in all Arab countries there is a mostly patriarchal social system in which men hold the primary power when it comes to the public life. When it comes to the private life, the women have the main responsibility but still, the fathers hold authority over women and children (Joseph, 1996). In the Arabic context, patriarchy is defined as the prioritising of the rights of males and elders. Halim Barakat explained that: ‘the traditional Arab father ‘has authority and responsibility, expects respect and unquestioning compliance ‘(Joseph, 1996; P. 14). Within the patriarchal society, men have the responsibility to provide for women and children. They are obligated to share their belongings with their families. In contrast, when women or children are working, they have the right to keep their earnings for themselves and spend it as they wish (Joseph,

(10)

10

1996; P. 15).

Within Arab societies, men and women are, in general, not seen as unequal. Most of the people, do however have separate thoughts about the specific roles that they believe men and women should have within the family. A common view on gender roles among Muslims is that ‘women’s roles are limited by their gender, and women are clearly subordinate to men’ (Predelli, 2004; P. 488). Within a family, the father often has undisputed authority. He is responsible for all the important decisions that have the be made in and outside the house and he will supervise all the activities that other family members undertake (Davishpour, 2002). Within research from Predelli (2004) there were quotes stated from Arabic women on how they viewed gender roles. These women agreed that women are worth less than men within Islam. They base this inequality on a gendered separation of the private and public spheres and on alleged biological differences between men and women ( Predelli, 2004; P. 488). An example of one of the quotes is from a 50 year old housewife. She stated the following: “ I think that a woman must be at home, that the man works, that she keeps everything clean, and that she is cheerful when the husband comes home.” (Predelli, 2004; P. 488). When another woman was asked about the tasks that she believes a woman has in life, the woman aged 27 answered: “She should be a housewife. She should listen to her husband, take care of the children, and live in an Islamic way” (Predelli, 2004; P. 488).

The identity of an Arabic woman is based on her role within the family. Her most important goal in life should be to get married and to have children. In nearly all Arabic countries, divorce is not socially accepted. A woman’s status will seriously decline when she wants to get a divorce and her family will usually not accept it (Davishpour, 2002). Even when a woman is being abused or mistreated, getting a divorce is usually not considered a valid solution. Even though abuse is illegal, it is sometimes culturally allowed. If a woman will complain people will in most causes judge her for being too ‘rebellious or disobedient’ (Hefner, 2011)

2.3 Gender roles in Syria

Gender equality is reflected in several parts of the official constitution of Syria. It shows that both male and female citizens should be granted equal rights. This has been established in article 4 which states that: “The state guarantees women all opportunities enabling them to fully and effectively participate in the political, social, cultural and economic life. The state

(11)

11

removes the restrictions that prevent women’s development and participation in building the socialist Arab society”(Maktabi, 2010; p. 559). Besides this, women enjoy a lot of the same civil liberties as men, the testimony of a woman is, for example, valued the same as that from a man and women are allowed to be economically independent when it comes to trade law (Maktabi, 2010; p. 559).

However, even though the gender ideology within Syria seems to reflect gender equality when you look at the official constitution, there are other laws which make it a lot more complicated. Besides the official constitution, you have citizenship law, criminal law and family law. These laws show clearly, that in practice, there is no such thing as gender equality yet. Criminal law, for example, states that the penalty for murder is up to 15 years imprisonment while for ‘honour killings’ short jail sentences of only two to four months are allowed. Honour killings can be described as the murder of a woman by (one of) her male relatives because of “broken sexual norms”. These broken sexual norms are not just about premarital intercourse but include a woman marrying someone outside her religious group (Maktabi, 2010; P. 559).

Family law, states the importance of a male guardian in many aspects of a woman’s life. The male guardian is firstly her father, brother or another male relative and later on her husband. She needs permission from this guardian when she, for example, wants to get married. Next to this, a woman is, in principle, obligated to travel with her guardian or later on with her husband and her husband also has the right to prevent her from going outside the house if he does not want her to (Maktabi, 2010; P. 559). Other examples of clear inequality are that daughters inherit half of the amount that sons do, a man’s testimony counts double in comparison to that of a woman and men are allowed to marry up to four wives while women are only allowed one husband. When it comes to divorce, men are allowed to divorce from their wives with just saying one simple word while women need to go to court to demand for a divorce. If the husband does not want the divorce then it is really hard for a women to get it, even through court (Maktabi, 2010; P. 559).

2.4 Behavioural responses of women towards existing gender roles due to migration. When women from Syria come to the Netherlands there are two options. They are either satisfied or dissatisfied with their life here. When they are satisfied there will be no reaction. They will continue to life their lives as they are used to and be happy about It. When they are

(12)

12

dissatisfied with their life here, due to their own marital relationship or learned rules on gender ideology, they could have several different reactions.

I will use a theoretical framework to try to explain the different reactions women could have based on a study by Hirschman (1970). This study found that a diverse group of specific behavioural responses to dissatisfaction can be subsumed by three more abstract theoretical categories. These categories are labelled exit, voice and loyalty.(Farrell, 1983). The theory was originally created while researching reactions of costumers towards dissatisfying brands and decline in product quality. However, in the years that followed it was applied in several different settings including. membership organizations, emigration and political situations. Within this research it will be applied to cultural norms and gender ideology.

The theory of exit, voice and loyalty suggests three possible options as responses to dissatisfaction. The first response is exit. The “painful decision to withdraw or switch requires considerable effort by the person concerned and usually means that he or she believes the situation is unlikely to improve” (Hirschman, 1970, p.81). Exit is a very powerful response, it does not need to be physical, but can be mental or emotional. Within this research it implies leaving or switching from ideas about a specific gender ideology that you grew up with and lived with for your entire life. It will also possibly mean, being forced to leave your community and family because they disagree with your new thoughts and lifestyle. For most married women who will take the decision to exit from their gender ideology completely it will lead to getting a divorce.

The second response suggested by Hirschman, the “voice option”, can be described as “any attempt at all to change rather than to escape from an objectionable state of affairs” (Hirschman, 1970, p. 30). “Voice usually involves appeals to higher authorities either inside or outside of the managerial hierarchy, but it also may involve other actions and protests. When used in political systems, voice is known as interest articulation”(Farrell, 1983; P.597). Hirschman (1970) also notes that the easier the exit option is, the less likely people will be to use their voice. Within this research it can be the reaction of women who are unhappy with the current division of tasks within their household and community but are not willing to get a divorce. They want to change their marital relationships in a way that allows them to get an education or a job. They do not want to have full responsibility for the children and household tasks anymore but are searching for a redistribution of tasks within, for example, their marriage. This behavioural response needs a change of thought about existing patriarchal

(13)

13

ideas.

The final response suggested by Hirschman (1970) is loyalty. This can be understood in two different ways. They can either stay loyal because they are satisfied with their lives as it is and they truly believe that this is how it is supposed to be. Within this research, most of these women are probably wanting to return to their own country as soon as it is safe. People can also stay loyal even though they are not satisfied with the situation. This means the person in question will stick with the situation for a period of time before reacting to the problem, if they will even react at all. They “Suffer in silence, confident that things will soon get better” (Hirschman, 1970, P.38). As Hirschman notes, however, most loyalist behaviour retains an enormous dose of reasoned calculation; "an individual member can remain loyal without being influential himself, but hardly without the expectation that someone will act or something will happen to improve matters" (1970, pp. 78-79; Farrell, 1983; P. 598). In this research this implies women are keeping quiet about their dissatisfaction and continuing to life their lives as they were doing before. Possible reasons for this option might be fear for the reaction of their family, husband or the rest of the community. They want change but are too afraid to do anything that will allow this change to happen.

2.6 Expectations

Based on this analysis of the literature surrounding this topic I have several expectations about the answers I will find to my research question. I expect the women to have several different forms of reaction towards their own gender ideology when starting their new life in the Netherlands. However, based on the existing knowledge, I expect a lot of women to face difficulties in their marital relationship, especially in the first few years after arriving to the Netherlands. Because of the differences that exist between the cultural norms and gender roles in Syria and in the Netherlands it will be difficult to continue living your life the way that these people are used to.

I think the option to exit completely from the gender ideology will be the least favourable according to the women themselves, because it will probably mean distancing themselves from their entire family and community. I think it will only be used in extreme cases when the woman feels like she has no other options. Because she is, for example, involved in an abusive relationship.

(14)

14

I expect the voice option to be the most represented option because it could cause a change within the community. If enough people would use this response it could mean that woman would not have to give up on their marriage and family in order to integrate into the Dutch society and find a job or education. My expectations are that most women feel like their position has improved in many different ways which causes them to have more positive attitudes towards the new society and its rules and norms. Since most of the Syrian refugees have not been in the Netherlands for more than a few years, I do not think there are any major changes yet. However, I do expect women to feel empowered and when they want to start the process to shift the existing gender roles. Every small change or form of protest they perform can contribute to a more flexible interpretation of gender roles. I expect that the Dutch legal system and the policies concerning refugee will give the women the opportunity to gain more autonomy and freedom.

I however expect that there is also a part of the women that will, at least for the first period of time, stay loyal to their beliefs and remain obedient to their husbands and family. I expect this because most of the women will not immediately feel safe enough in a new country where they do not know the language to distance themselves from their family or provoke them in any way. Due to the war they also might have a lot of other issues to process which makes it more difficult to commit to something this complicated even when they are not satisfied with the situation. Besides this, pressure from their family could also keep them from making any big changes.

I also expect some of the women to stay loyal because they had a really good life before the war started and they had to flee. They do not want anything to change. Most of these women will probably want to return to their country as soon as possible.

Finally, I expect the women that use exit or voice responses to be the most happy and successfully integrated in the Netherlands in the long term. This is because they will be less likely to be in a problematic marital relationship and they will fit into the Dutch culture better.

(15)

15

3. Methods

The aim of this study is to research the extent to which perspectives on gender roles change for women who fled from Syria to the Netherlands. The study is based on qualitative research. Ethnographic research techniques were employed in combination with in depth interviews. Within this chapter, a description of the research design is given, followed by a description of the respondents, a description of the methods that were used for data analysis and finally, the limitations of this research.

3.1 Research design

I volunteered at a language café in Zaandam which held weekly meetings every Sunday afternoon to practice the Dutch language. Every Sunday a group of around 40 Syrian refugees came to the organisation. Besides this there were a few other Syrian women who came only every once in a while or during specific activities. During these weekly meetings we discussed topics such as Dutch culture and habits and how they differed from their own culture while we were practicing the Dutch language. After attending a few of the meetings some of the people who came there invited me to their home for coffee or dinner. Most of them were very welcoming and I went to visit them quite frequently. I was invited to birthdays, maternity visits, and for religious holidays This way I could observe their daily lives more closely and was able to see how they interacted with each other inside the family. There was one family who invited me to come with them to a theme park and another who I went to the Keukenhof with. Within the foundation I organised, together with two other volunteers, trips especially for women. We went with a group of Syrian women to Volendam, Amsterdam, the beach in Scheveningen, out for dinner and held three dance nights. When there were no men, the women were able to speak more freely and opened up a lot more about how they felt about their relationships with their husbands and what they thought of the Dutch culture and the differences with their own. I occasionally asked them questions about their marital relations or their view on gender roles. There were three women that helped me the most during my research and that I got a very good relationship with. The first is a 19 year old girl. She still lived with her parents. I was her ‘language buddy’ and visited her once a week. The other was a 33 year old mom of three who came to the Netherlands 2 and a half years ago with family reunion but soon after that divorced from her husband and the last woman came to the Netherlands 7 years ago and is married, with three kids.

(16)

16

Next to the observations and conversations I made during this time, I also performed some more formal interviews. The interviews can be described as semi-structured because I had a few topics listed up that I made sure were discussed but it was not a completely structured conversation. A few examples of the sort of questions I asked are:

 How has your life changed since coming to Netherlands?

 How has your relationship with your husband changed since coming to the Netherlands (married respondents)

 How has it been difficult for you (and your partner) to adapt to changes in the Netherlands?

 What creates conflict for you and your partner?  How do you and your partner resolve arguments?

 Can you tell about how changes in roles/responsibilities might have contributed to your separation or divorce? (divorced/separated respondents)

 How do you see your future?

 How does this differ from the image you had when you were still in Syria?

The length of the interviews ranged from 45 minutes to an whole evening. The women I interviewed didn’t know about the specific topic of my research but I told them I wanted to know how their lives were in Syria and how they had changed since they came to the Netherlands. During the interviews, I tried to make sure, as much as possible, that their husband or children were not in the same room. I also did some interviews with a few of the men. During these interviews I asked them questions about how their family had changed since they came to the Netherlands and how they perceived this change.

3.2 Respondents

All of the twenty-one women I interviewed were Sunni Muslim. The period they were in the Netherlands ranged from, 1,5 years to 7 years. I met some women who were here shorter than one year but it was too difficult to perform a good in depth interview with them due to the large language barrier. Twelve of the women I spoke with, were married and had children. three of the women were not yet married, two were newlyweds who did not have children yet and four of the women were divorced of whom three had children. Fourteen of the women were from big cities such as Damascus or Homs and seven women were from the more rural

(17)

17

areas within Syria. The majority of women came here through family reunion. There were only three women who had to flee themselves. The age of the women ranged from 18 till 63. None of the women I spoke to were working. Three of them were studying and one was in high school. I also interviewed six Syrian men, to get some more information on their perspective on the changes the women have gone through. Of these six men, four were married of which three had children and two were single, their age ranged from 23 to 56.

3.3 Data analysis

All the interviews and observations were analysed based on the expected reactions including: exit, voice and loyalty. During the research, three different patterns were identified when it came to the changes and different roles the women went through. Obviously, these groupings do not represent all the Syrian women that came to the Netherlands but are used as a means to point out the diversity among them and the fact that there is no such thing as a stereotype for the Syrian immigrant women.

The first pattern that was shown, was the empowerment of women. Once they came to the Netherlands they felt like they gained more autonomy and independence and were able to stand up for themselves. They more or less disagreed with their old gender ideology and tried to make some changes when it came to the dividing the tasks within the house. Also, they were more willing to find a job or start a study and had the courage to put some pressure on their husbands so they would allow it. These women were happy in their new country and most of the time did not want to return to Syria even when it will be safe. Obviously, these changes could lead to some tensions and conflict within the household and sometimes even to a divorce.

The second pattern that was shown, was radicalization. In most of the cases this was not about the woman herself but about her husband. Men who had a good job when they were in Syria and enjoyed a good status, sometimes got more extreme in their behaviour when they came to the Netherlands. They, most of the time, did not know the language yet or at least not very good and they were unable to find a job in the same position as they were used to. Therefore, they felt like they lost all control and respect in the public sphere. This made them focus more on the domestic sphere, which they saw as the only place they were still in control. They became more strict with their wife and children and tried to keep all the ties with the home country as strong as possible. This included focussing mostly their own

(18)

18

rituals, norms and values. They did not want their wives to get “loose” like the western women and did everything to prevent them from adapting into their new world. These men, wanted to go back to Syria as soon as it would be possible. However, it were not only the men who sometimes became more extreme. There were also some women. They did not like the Western lifestyle and the norms and values that existed within the Netherlands which made them want to go back as well and was the reason they became more extreme in their behaviour. The most problematic situation was obviously when the wife followed the first pattern in which she became more empowered and felt more free to claim her rights and the husband behaved more extreme and tried to control his household, this led to a lot of tension inside the household and sometimes even physical or verbal abuse.

In the last pattern, both men and women changed equally. This could be both to the more extreme side or to the more modern side where the wife became more empowered. Some of the men agreed with the fact that they would have to help out more in the household because here their wife would have to work outside the house as well. They wanted to adjust their whole household to the new country and were willing to change. In other families, both husband and wife were unhappy with the new culture and wanted to go home as soon as they could. This meant mostly that they isolated themselves from the host country and tried to hold on to their old lives as much as possible. Even though, this makes integration in the host country a lot more complicated, it did make sure that the family stayed together in good harmony.

Based on these three patterns, all the interviews, observations and conversations were analysed and coded.

3.4 Limitations

The research focusses specifically on the Syrian population. Previous research on gender shows that local constructions and gender identities are extremely important and that it is very complicated to generalize the findings of such research across different contexts and communities. This makes it harder to generalize the findings of this study to other refugee or immigrant communities (Gordon, 2004; P. 454). Therefore, even though the findings of this study have theoretical as well as practical implication, it is only a first step in the knowledge of the effect that migration has on gender roles. In future research it is important that this research will be extended to other immigrant communities with different experiences

(19)

19

(Hyman, Guruge & Mason, 2008). This study raises important questions and contributions that could be used in future research on the same as, well as on other populations, but further research is necessary to confirm the findings with other refugee or immigrant communities. Besides this, my own background as a native Dutch woman who does not practice religion could have influenced the stories the women were willing to tell me. It is possible that they saw me as part of the dominant group and have adjusted their stories accordingly. It is possible that they took a more traditional or conservative stand to emphasize the differences between us or, especially the women I bonded with the last several months, that they showed a more open-minded and liberal point of view to confirm the similarities between us. It is also possible that they were trying to give the answer they thought would be most socially-desirable (Predelli, 2004; P. 477). My own opinions and background could also have influenced the research question as well as the analysis. I performed this research from the perspective that equal gender roles for men and women are desirable and just (Predelli, 2004).

Furthermore, the topic of this research is highly sensitive and extremely personal. So even if the women did want to tell me their real stories, they still could have been too scared or ashamed. Speaking to them required taking all this into consideration. I spent a long time gaining their trust and stressed many times that everything they told me would be used anonymously. Because I used not only the interviews, but also the observations I made and the informal conversations I had, I was able to have a better understanding of their actual lives.

Lastly, even though I was redirected to some family members and friends that lived in other cities such as Den Haag and Alkmaar, most of the women I interviewed lived in Zaandam. It is not completely clear if this has important implications for the findings of this research therefore, future research that can confirm the findings in different cities would be desirable.

(20)

20

4. Results

In this chapter, the results of the study will be discussed. The section consists out of six different components, namely: divorce, identity, the public sphere, the private sphere, control and loyalty. All the results are obtained from the interviews, observations and informal conversations that have been performed.

4.1 Divorce

“I found myself here in this country. I regret every moment I lost before. Here I can do whatever I want. Take my own decisions. I can change my life any way I want without having to be scared of the opinion of others. I know that the other newcomers are talking about me behind my back. Especially now that I have a Dutch boyfriend. This is completely unacceptable in our culture and religion. I do not have any contact with my family. They do not accept my new lifestyle. My brothers have even threatened me. The only contact I still have with my old world is with my youngest sister. She sees me as her role model”

This quote shows exactly the meaning of the exit response. The woman in question has turned her back completely against the existing norms and values that exist within her community and has started a whole new life. The consequences this choice could have are also clearly visible through this quote. She is completely banned from her family and was even threatened by her own brothers.

This decision to exit from these ideals comes with a lot of risks and difficulties. The only women I met who took such a radical decision were, for example, treated really badly in their home country and saw no other option then to get a divorce straight or really soon after they get to the Netherlands This was then mostly something they already wanted when they were still in the host country but was then made impossible to them.

“There are two reasons why the people here get a divorce. The first is when women were already unhappy in their host country. They had, for example, a really dominant husband who they had to obey and they did not enjoy life. They were not allowed to do anything and their husband made their lives really difficult. Some of these women were cheated on many times. These women see a chance here to finally get away from their husbands and start a new and

free life because this is almost impossible in Syria. The other

(21)

21

feel pressure from their new community to start a completely different life. They get convinced that they miss out on many things. If the wife starts to feel this way and acts on it but her husband does not adapt. Then the life together cannot continue. She will move on to a new life but he will stay behind. This causes them to live in two completely different worlds with different thoughts and ideas which of course causes conflict and could lead to divorce.”

This shows that getting a divorce does not necessarily mean that women choose to exit completely from all their ideals. In the first scenario they make a quite radical decision and choose to start a whole new life. The second scenario usually takes more time and involves more gradual change. It then depends on the husband whether he is able to change with her or stays behind.

It was made very clear in the interviews that in Syria it is nearly impossible for a woman to get a divorce.

“In our country, when you get divorced from your husband, you have almost no chance to find a new husband. There are almost no men who want to be with a woman that was already married before. This puts a lot of pressure on the women to stay with their husband because if they leave, they will end up alone. We have a saying in our country that states: “Living in the shadow of your husband is still better than nothing.” It almost never happens that a woman leaves her husband. If it comes to a divorce then it is almost always the man who leaves his wife.”

Besides the social pressure that exists to stay with your husband there is also the law that makes it very difficult for a woman to get a divorce. This is mostly due to rules that exist within the country and are labelled as “religious” rules.

“In our religion, it is really difficult for a woman to get a divorce. For a man you just have to say ‘talaq’ three times. There is no need to go to court or anything. If you say this word three times in a row it is done and you are divorced. It is even impossible to get back together after you have said it three times in a row. A woman however, can say ‘talaq’ all day long but is still married. She will have to go to court in order to get a divorce and in Syria they will almost never allow it if the husband does not agree.”

However, even though, the rules in the Netherlands should make it easier for a woman to divorce from her husband. It was shown that there are still a lot of barriers to overcome. Most

(22)

22

people are not only afraid of the reaction of their own family or their husband himself but also by the people around them.

“When I left my husband, I wasn’t afraid of him or his reaction. But I was really afraid of the people around me. Everybody starts talking about you when you leave your husband once you get to Europe. They will say you do not understand freedom and that you are unable to handle it”

At the second ladies night one of the women was brought by her husband. I was still standing at the door when she asked me: “did he leave??” I said yes. And before I knew it she run outside without her hijab and started dancing while screaming “I’m free!” She run back inside within a minute and everyone was laughing. She told us her husband drove her crazy. Before they left he said to her why do you look so pretty with a dress and make up for these ladies nights but you never dress up like that for me. She is not allowed to wear make-up or show bearskin outside the house so she said why would I go through all that trouble if I will have to cover it all up as soon as someone comes to our house or when we go outside. They had a fight about it and the only reason he still let her go to the ladies night is that everyone would be talking about him if he would not let his wife go out.

She told me that she would like to get a divorce but is too scared. She told me about a woman she met when she was on the beach. The woman lived there and they started talking. “She was living on her own near the beach with her two children because she had divorced from her husband. When I asked her whether it was difficult or not to be alone orif she ever had any regrets but she told me she was fine now and happier than when she was married. I want the same. I want a house just with my three children and be free. I asked her several times if she was serious or she was just joking or angry because of the fight but she told me that it was something she really wanted and even when I asked her a couple of times in the weeks after that she gave me the same reply. However, until today they are still together because she is too afraid to end up alone.

Most of the women I met were not working in Syria and when they did they worked as a teacher or nurse. Jobs that are perceived as appropriate for women. However, there was one women I met who was a lawyer when she was in Syria. Because of her education she was aware of the rights she had according to the official law and therefore people saw her as “out of control” because she lived according to the law instead of the will of her family. She even

(23)

23

lived by herself which is extremely uncommon for unmarried women. After a while she met a man who was also a lawyer. He seemed to be open minded like she was and after a while they decided to get married. They had a happy marriage were they both enjoyed their freedom. However, after being forced to flee to the Netherlands. Her husband changed completely. He was scared of the new culture and people and forced her to wear a hijab, Something she had never done before in Syria. He became really jealous and tried to control her life more and more. The first year here she stayed with him because she was scared and did not know anyone. But after some time she learned the language and decided to get a divorce. She promised herself that she would never let anyone decide anything for her anymore. Even if that meant she would end up alone.

This example shows that even with all the barriers and difficulties that women face even after they get to the Netherlands. There are still women brave enough to stand up for themselves and leave their husbands when they are unhappy.

These findings are mostly in line with the research by Hirsch (2003) where she describes how new economic possibilities in combination with human rights made it possible for battered women to stand up for themselves and get out of an abusive relationship after migration. However , she as well as Brettel (2016 ) mention the anonymity of living in a big city as an important aspect of daring to get a divorce. For the women in this research, this was not the case. They still felt a lot of pressure from their community, especially the Syrian people living nearby, to continue living their lives the way they are expected. This connects to the research from Akpinar (2003) where he describes how Turkish immigrants in Sweden are still facing a lot of gossiping and control from their own ethnic community.

Furthermore, it confirms the expectation that most women will not take an extreme decision like getting a divorce straight away unless their situation was really bad and they felt desperate. In most other cases women still felt too scared to take such extreme measures in the first few years after arriving to the Netherlands. The

following story is about one of the woman that was forced to leave her husband after arriving to the Netherlands.

(24)

24

4.1.1 The story of Amal

Amal is 38 years old and comes from a big city in Syria called Homs. She got married when she was 20 years old with a 22 year old man. She did not work in Syria and had her first child when she was 23. She loved her life and was really happy with her husband in the beginning. However, after five years she found out that her husband was with many other women. She was too afraid of the reaction from her community and what people would say about her, so she did not want to get a divorce. She was afraid of her family and was worried about what would happen to her children, she did not want to lose them. He promised her that he would not do it anymore. Even though, she knew this was a lie, she still stayed with him.

They were together for 12 years when her husband decided they had to flee. He went alone to Turkey first and then brought the rest of the family there. When Amal came to Turkey, she found out that he was there with another woman again. They got into a fight and he beat her in front of her children, he threatened that he would burn her and the children. After that, her husband left for Europe so that they could start a new life, and in 2015, he was able to get his whole family to the Netherlands through family reunion.

Amal had stayed with her husband because she saw it as the only opportunity for her and her children to make it to Europe. As soon as she got to the Asylum seekers centre she told a social worker her story and they promised to try and help her. Her husband felt that she was up to something so he took her passport and all her other cards and thought that she could not go anywhere. After a few weeks he went back to Turkey for a few days because he was trying to get the other woman to Europe too.

During the time he was gone the refugee council was able to help the woman to get a secret address, new cards and a permit to stay in the Netherlands with her children. She was now able to start a new life for herself without being afraid of her husband. He still does not know where she lives. In the mean time she studied the Dutch language at the VU university and passed for state exam two. She just started her studies to become an English teacher.

(25)

25

4.2 Identity

“When I just arrived in the Netherlands I found everything really difficult. I was unable to speak to people because I did not speak Dutch or English. When I needed anything I had to find someone who could translate for me. At this point I did not feel like I would ever be able to start a life here. I thought then, that the most important barrier was the language so I did everything I could to learn it as quickly as possible. However, after being able to speak the language on a decent level the actual difficult part only started. I struggled a lot to find my way here in the Netherlands. I was open to the new culture and people and wanted to learn everything. But then I had to find my own way. Combine my old life with the new country. I had to change my thoughts and let go of some of my rules in order to adjust here. I did not want to hold on to my own culture too much but I also found it difficult to let go of everything I had ever learned. Now I found my own way that I am satisfied with. I am studying at the university and know what I want and what I do not want.”

Most women pointed out that creating a new identity and finding their own way was the most difficult part of their migration process. Depending on whether or not their husbands supported them in this process lead to either a harmonious new life together or to conflict. An example is one of the couples I met. They had only been married for around six months in Syria before they had to flee. They were really happy together. Both of them were well-educated and already learned English when they were still in Syria. This makes it much easier for them to integrate into the Dutch society. However, after they got here, there were some conflicts between them that started to arise. For example, in Syria, it is common that men and women do not shake hands. But here in the Netherlands it is perceived as rude not to shake hands. Therefore the woman told me that she decided to let go of that tradition. “My husband did the same and I thought this was the best decision for the both of us to adapt into the Dutch society. However, he did not feel the same way about this. He did not appreciate the changes I made. He does not understand that we need to change some things in order to fit into this new society. I think he should be more open to the Dutch culture instead of getting more and more jealous. Now that we have been here for a while, it gets better. We are both adapting and getting used to our new life. I hope that we can slowly integrate into the new society without completely losing our own beliefs.”

(26)

26

Even though this couple started their new life with some conflicts. After slowly adapting to the new culture they were able to overcome most of them and change their relationship and both of their habits in a way they still felt comfortable with but also fitted well with the Dutch society. For a lot of the people that came here this was a lot more complicated.

“You find yourself at a stairway. One half of you is on the first floor but the other half is still downstairs. You forget your own identity. You do not know who you are anymore. You could say that you are lost. You cannot call yourself truly Syrian anymore but you can also not say that you are Dutch. You want to fit in the new country but also hold on to your traditions and everything that you have ever learned before. You try to move on but you are held back by your religion, community, the people around you and your own family.”

This quote again shows the influence that community and family has on the behaviour of these women. One younger girl told me the following story:

“My whole life I learned to follow the rules and obey the command of my family. This is the way it goes within my community. Because I have always been an easy learner I was able to speak the language quite quickly. After gaining the necessary language level I started an education to become a nurse. During my education I met a Dutch guy that I really liked. We are in love but I am afraid to tell my family about him because I do not believe they will accept it. I tried to keep my own emotions under control and do not allow myself to fall further in love with him. He does not understand why I act like this but I am just afraid to get hurt. I love my family but sometimes I do not agree with how they think and act. They are not open minded like me. They boy I met is really open minded he does not care that we think completely different about life. He accepts me and my religion but my parents will never accept him. However, when it comes to my brother, there is no one who will judge him if he comes home with a Dutch girl. They do not ask him where he is going or who he spends his time with. Meanwhile, I am unable to go anywhere without everybody checking on me. This inequality that exists within the culture I live in is something I am really against. If I was brave enough to make my own decisions, I would still keep a lot of the traditions and rituals that I grew up with but I would no longer allow my family, religion or my culture to limit the choices that I have in life.”

(27)

27

4.3 Public sphere

None of the women I interviewed were working. This fact on its own, does not necessarily imply anything on gender roles because there were other reasons that should be mentioned as well for their unemployment. The most important reason was the language barrier. Most of the women had also not been working in Syria. If they did have a job there it was mostly a profession that was perceived as ‘suited for women’ such as a teacher or a nurse.

“In Syria, women are not used to working outside the house. This is because there is a different way of thinking. In Syria men are entirely responsible for the family income. They have to pay for everything from groceries to clothes and everything else that they need. A woman should never be forced to work. If she does want to work, she should be able to use her salary all for herself and not for something they share like the house. But most men would not even allow their wives to work. They do not want them to spend that much time outside the house and gain independence and get their own opinions. For men in Syria, a wife with a strong opinion makes his life really complicated because he should always be seen as “the boss” in front of the community”

“Men in Syria are really proud and they would be really afraid if they would have a wife that earned more per month than they did. I do not think any man would accept that”

So on the one hand it is described as the ‘right of women’ to not have to get a job while on the other hand it is shown that the women themselves do not really have a say in this. It even harms a man’s pride if his wife is working or at least when she is earning more than he is. The first few years in the Netherlands, most of the women were still eligible to get some money from the state because they needed some time to be able to learn the language. However after 2 to 3 years this money would stop and the families would either have to live off the income from the husband or the woman should find a job too. Some of the women told me they saw it as an opportunity because they had always wanted to have a job but their husbands would not allow it but now they would not have a choice.

However, during the conversations I had with the men as well as the women, I found out that their first priority was always to find a job for the man. Most of the men preferred to let their woman stay at home with the family instead of letting them go off to work and leaving their children with strangers. At least they wanted them to have the choice to stay at home and not be forced to find a job due to a need of money. During the first 2 to 3 years this is very

(28)

28

easy and after this time most of the men had already found a job so they were no longer be dependent on the state. This, depending on the job of the man, could cause some money issues and they had to reconsider letting their wives find a job. The way the men spoke about this showed me that they saw it as their decision to make instead of their wives’ decision. One quote shows this in particular:

“Maybe I will let my wife get a job. I am thinking about signing her up for an accounting course but she will have to go to school in another city for a couple of weeks so I have to think about it. “

A few weeks later he told me he decided it was not the right moment for her to get a job and he wanted to wait until the children were a bit older. With having to pay for day care for their three daughters when she went to work they would not save more money at the end of the month. In the meantime he was trying to find her something she could do from home but there were only limited options especially because her language skills were not at the required level yet.

The way he talked about this did not seem to imply that his wife had any voice in the decision. When I later on asked her about it she told me she does not like accounting and prefers to stay with her children if that was the only other option.

Most of the men were also still unemployed but there were some that had been able to get a job even though their language skills seem to be worse than that of the women. A possible explanation could be that most of the men came here some time before the women did and therefore had more time to find a job but it also confirms the idea that finding a job for the man seems to be the priority.

One of the woman told me that it was her dream to have her own food truck one day because she loved cooking. She was asked by an organisation for refugees to cook a few times at some of their events. She asked two other Syrian women to join her and took the job. Her husband allowed it under several conditions. It was not an actual job but it would just be a few times and she should not be earning money with it. If she earned money with these projects he was afraid that other people would think he was not able to provide for his family by himself. Besides this, a job outside the house should not mean that the work inside the house or the children would neglected. He said that nothing in the house could change otherwise she would have to quit.

(29)

29

These results underscore the feminist literature on the ‘double day burden’ (Brettel, 2016). Most of the women are still responsible for the household even when they get a job outside the house. This means their workload doubles.

Even though, these rules seem extremely strict and unequal. For the woman in question it was still progress. Even though it was only a few times and she would not earn money it was still a job and that was something she would have never imagined in the first place. She saw it as a first step towards her dream and hoped her husband could easily adjust

to the new situation during these baby steps.

4.3.1 The story of Bana

Bana is a 19 year old girl who came to the Netherlands in 2015. She fled the country with her sister and cousin and ended up in an asylum seekers centre in Alkmaar. She came to the Netherlands because one of her other sisters was already here with her family. Bana had to spend more then 1,5 year apart from her parents while she was only 16 at the time. When she was finally able to get her parents here through family reunion they were placed in a house in Amsterdam all together. Because she was only 16 when she left Syria, she had not finished her high school yet. This makes it very difficult for her to fulfil her dream, which is, becoming a pharmacist. Due to the language barrier and no proof at all of any prior education it will be a long and difficult route before she will finally be able to go to work. While she was talking about all the steps she needed to take before even starting the education towards assistant pharmacist, she told me more about her hopes and dreams. Her biggest dream was to have a house all by herself, a job and a car. She also told me that this would never be an option for her. She was expected to stay with her parents until she got married and started her own family. She did not show even the slightest bit of hope that this would ever be any different. Bana has six little nieces and nephews in the Netherlands that spend a lot of time at her house. Besides this, she is also doing an internship at a primary school which should help her learn the language quicker. While we were at a playground with 3 of her little nieces, she told me that all these kids surrounding her all day drives her crazy. She does not like kids. When I ask her if that means that she does not want kids in the future she looks at me like I am completely crazy; Of course she will have children in the future. Again it does not seem like she believes there are any other options.

(30)

30

feels about it. She told me that, for example, her hijab, is something she really likes. She enjoys the idea that people are wondering what her hair looks like and that she stays a bit of a mystery. She also thinks it makes it very special that her husband will be the only man allowed to see her hair. However, the fact that she is not allowed to choose her own husband is something she finds very difficult. When someone comes to ask for her hand and her parents approve then she will see him a few times with both families present. She will hear some information about his job and education. After that she should decide if she does or does not want to marry him. She would prefer to fall in love with someone and choose by herself. She told me her parents would never allow this.

Even though, it is not exceptional for Syrian girls to marry when they are around 18 or 19. Bana is determined to finish her studies first. However, a few occasions showed me that this will not be that easy for her. Firstly, at the language café we have meetings every Sunday to practice the Dutch language. Even though Bana was very eager to learn she would never show up at one of these meetings. I asked her a few times to come but her responses were mostly vague. When we went ice skating with the language café she did come and then I understood why it was difficult for her to come. The majority of people that fled from Syria are single men or families. There are not less single Syrian girls in the Netherlands that have not been married before. We went ice skating with around fifty Syrian people and at least five came to Bana’s sister to ask about Bana. What were her plans and was she willing to get married. The people that came to her sister were not the men themselves but moms, sisters or cousins. Another time was when Bana turned 19 and I threw her a surprise party. I asked all her family to come to her house before she came home from school and we surprised her for her birthday. When she went upstairs to change I came with her. I noticed that she was very nervous about what to wear and how to do her hair. I asked her why she was nervous since it was only her close family downstairs. She told me that before we went up her mother said to her someone else was coming. A woman with an unmarried son that might be interested in Bana. Therefore, she had to look nice. She told me that this happens very often. Until now her parents have always said no and respected her wishes. But the education she wants to complete will take very long, This is why she is unsure if she is able to convince her parents to stay unmarried until then. Her fear is that she will end up with a husband that does not allow her to follow an education.

Shifting gender roles : Syrian women in the Netherlands