Hook-Up or Happily Ever After?
A qualitative exploration of emerging adults’ motivations and experiences
regarding dating application Tinder
Nadin van de Rest
Master Thesis Youth and Media Graduate School of Communication Student number: 5782511
Supervisor: Sindy Sumter Date: September 28th 2015
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Abstract
Rising numbers of emerging adults are involved in online dating. Mobile dating application Tinder is especially successful at targeting this demographic. However, online dating amongst emerging adults is hardly studied thus far. The current study addressed this research gap. In-depth interviews were conducted with twenty online daters between the ages of nineteen and twenty-nine to explore what role Tinder plays in their lives. Analysis uncovered four main motives emerging adults have for using the app: forming romantic relationships, arranging sexual hook-ups, meeting new people and getting over a past relationship. While most men had sexual motives, women were looking for romance more frequently . Additionally, three main themes recurred across interviews, namely: the role of users’ social competence; self-presentation on Tinder; and social stigma. Support was found for both the rich-get-richer hypothesis and the social compensation hypothesis. The accuracy of other users’
self-presentation was found to be a main concern for many Tinder users. Although online dating is becoming more accepted, participants still felt stigmatized for using Tinder, especially when their friends did not use the app. At the same time, women in their late twenties sometimes felt stigmatized for still being single.
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Introduction
The emergence of computer-mediated communication has led to a wide variety of new ways for people to interact with each other through a multitude of different online platforms. In recent years, online dating with the objective of initiating romantic or sexual relationships has gained much popularity worldwide. In the United States almost 30% of new couples meet through an online dating platform (Rosenfeld & Thomas, 2012). In the Netherlands online dating has expanded exponentially over the past decade; 13% of all couples that moved in together between 2008 and 2013 met each other online, while this was less than 2% between 1998 and 2003 (CBS, 2014). It is widely believed that these numbers will continue to grow in years to come as internet dating will become even more accepted and integrated in people’s lives (Rosenfeld & Thomas, 2012).
Emerging adults are often among the first to adopt new social networking technologies and generally make up for a large proportion of its active users (Pai & Arnott, 2013). This is the case for platforms like Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram. However, for online dating platforms, the opposite seems to be true. These platforms are mainly used by people who face a relatively thin market, such as middle aged and older adults (Stephure, Boon, MacKinnon & Deveau, 2009) and gay and lesbian adults (Rosenfeld & Thomas, 2012). Recently, many online dating platforms have started targeting emerging adults with marketing campaigns adjusted to the specific preferences of this demographic. As a result, online dating has just recently begun gaining popularity amongst heterosexual emerging adults.
Mobile applications are quickly winning ground in the world of online dating, especially for the younger segment of the market. Emerging adults progressively use mobile phones to both initiate and maintain romantic and sexual relationships (Bergdall, Kraft,
3 Andes, Carter, Hatfield-Timajchy, & Hock-Long, 2012). Tinder is considered one of the most popular mobile dating platforms worldwide, with over 26 million matches made every day (gotinder.com, 2015). In 2013 Tinder had over 50 million active users globally and approximately 330.000 active users in the Netherlands (Van Hoek, 2014). Since then, numbers in the Netherlands have sky-rocketed to 1.5 million active users in the country, making Tinder one of the most frequently downloaded apps in the past year (Ettes, 2015). Over the past decade many studies have been conducted on the topic of online dating (Lawson & Leck, 2006; Mcwilliams & Barrett, 2014; Shtatfeld & Barak, 2009; Stephure, Boon, MacKinnon & Deveau, 2009). Although these studies have investigated online dating in general, research on online dating using mobile applications amongst emerging adults remains extremely limited. Hence, at the moment very little is known about the motives emerging adults have for engaging in online dating. Even fewer studies have been conducted on the actual experiences emerging adults have with online dating and the role it plays in their lives.
The current study addresses the research gap identified above. The study takes an explorative and qualitative approach to gain insight into the motivations and experiences emerging adults have with the online dating application Tinder. The principal research question of this thesis is: What role does Tinder play in the lives of emerging adults? In order to answer this question, two main aspects of online dating will be explored.
First, the different motives emerging adults have for using Tinder will be uncovered. Generally, emerging adults have rather large offline social networks through studies, work, friends and hobbies. Therefore, it is interesting to investigate what individuals in this age group hope to find through their use of the app. By looking at emerging adults’ motives for using Tinder, we will better understand the function the app fulfills for them as well as the different types of relationships they are looking for online.
4 Second, this study will look at the actual experiences emerging adults have with
Tinder. In this part of the study, focus is placed on emerging adults’ face-to-face dating experiences with individuals they have met on Tinder. Moreover, this section serves to explore how the app is perceived, both by participants of this study and by their social environment. Throughout this study, attention will be paid to possible gender differences as previous online dating research suggests that there are some differences between men and women in their motives for online dating as well as their actual experiences with online dating platforms (e.g. Clemens, Atkin & Krishnan, 2015; Lawson & Leck, 2006; Mcwilliams & Barrett, 2014).
Tinder and its features
In order to explore the motives emerging adults have to use Tinder, it is important to understand how this application works and how it differs from other online dating platforms. Tinder is an online dating application for mobile phones that allows users to judge other members’ profiles within a selected age range and location radius, using geolocation
technology. Tinder profiles are linked to users’ Facebook accounts, making it quick and easy to join the platform. Users can select specific Facebook pictures and personal information they want to display on their Tinder profile. Furthermore, this connection to Facebook might improve the perceived reliability of other users and of Tinder as a platform.
Using GPS and other basic matching criteria, such as mutual friends or interests, Tinder users can anonymously like or reject other users by clicking on a green heart or a red X. Only when two users have liked each other, a match is made and these users are able to start a conversation with each other on Tinder using the chat function within the application. It is not possible for users to interact with other users without having a match. This means that, unlike on many other dating platforms, all initial Tinder conversations are based on mutual interest.
5 Unlike on most other online dating platforms, on Tinder it is not possible to look for people using directed searches or scrolling through a list of profiles of possible candidates. Users of the application have no control over the profiles that are presented to them. The Tinder application provides the user with pictures and information about one person at a time. Only when the user likes or rejects this person, a next profile will appear to be judged.
Theoretical framework
The current study explores which role Tinder plays in the lives of emerging adults. In
order to address this topic thoroughly, it is valuable to first elaborate on relationship formation during emerging adulthood. user motives for online dating and additional themes that reoccur in online dating research. These themes are: social competence, (in)accuracy of
self-presentation, and stigma attached to online dating.
Emerging adulthood, Romance and Sexuality
Emerging adulthood is a phase in the life cycle between adolescence and adulthood. Generally individuals between 18 and 30 years of age are considered emerging adults.
According to Arnett (2004), who coined the term, emerging adults do no longer experience the dependency of childhood and adolescence, though they are not yet subjected to all of the responsibilities that come with adulthood. This makes emerging adulthood a self-focused age characterized by instability, change, and identity formation. Arnett argues that this period is also crucial with regards to the formation and development of more meaningful intimate relationships with others (2004).
Romantic relationships become more complicated and challenging during emerging adulthood, as individuals are faced with choices regarding long-term commitment and future planning such as moving in together, getting married and having children (Arnett, 2004; Erikson, 1968). Although emerging adults tend to postpone these decisions nowadays, recent research shows that forming a committed relationship is still a main goal for this demographic
6 (Beyers & Seiffge-Krenke, 2010; Taylor, Rappleyea, Fang & Cannon, 2013). Emerging adulthood is the crucial phase in which romantic relationships tend to take their final form (Arnett, 2004; Shulman & Connoly, 2013).
In recent years, the formation of romantic relationships during emerging adulthood has become a highly complex process that is no longer characterized by strictly defined stages (Banker, Kaestle & Allen, 2010; Taylor et. al., 2013). Loosened social norms and the use of communication technology in initiating relationships have made dating customs remarkably less uniform compared to previous generations (Rappleyea, Taylor & Fang, 2014). This ambiguity is believed to cause feelings of uncertainty and insecurity amongst emerging adults about how to behave during the process of forming a relationship (Banker et al., 2010; Bogle, 2008).
Although modern dating practices tend to be very ambiguous, recent studies show that traditional gender differences in the formation of romantic relationships have persisted over time (Serewicz & Gale, 2008). Men still tend to take a more active role, for example in taking the initiative to ask a woman out on a date, come up with ideas for the activity or location and paying for the date. Women, on the other hand, continue to be rather passive in the whole dating process, waiting for the man to make the moves (Taylor et al., 2013). Additionally, women are found to value lifelong love and commitment more than men do (Meier, Hull & Ortyl, 2009).
While romantic relationships tend to take a more serious form, casual sexual
encounters are also becoming more normative in the lives of emerging adults (Garcia, Reiber, Massey, & Merriwether, 2014; Owen, Rhoades, Stanley & Fincham, 2010). At first glance this might seem like a contradiction. However, one explanation for this is that emerging adults use casual hookups in an earlier stage to explore what it is exactly that they are looking for in a long-lasting relationship (Arnett, 2004; Claxton & Dulmen, 2013). Through trial and error
7 they might try to find their life partner. On the other hand, there are studies that suggest that emerging adults engage in sexual activities with different casual partners for purely hedonistic reasons (Garcia et al., 2012). It gives them instant pleasure without having to think about possible consequences for the future. These opposing motives will both be further explored in the analysis of this study.
User motives for online dating
Previous research investigated which motives individuals have for online dating (e.g. Clemens et al., 2015; Kang & Hoffman, 2011; Lawson & Leck, 2006; Mcwilliams & Barrett, 2014). Because traditionally most users of online dating platforms are older adults, most of these studies have also focused on middle aged and older adults, neglecting younger demographics. However, reviewing literature on motives for online dating in general can contribute to a better understanding of the various motives emerging adults have for using Tinder. In addition, a range of studies have been conducted on the motives individuals have for engaging in online relationships and social networking activities in general (Wilson, Fronasier & White, 2010; Wang & Chang, 2010). When combining the insights of these studies, fourmain motives that individuals hold for online dating can be distinguished. In the first place, a number of studies show that romance is often the main motive for individuals to join an online dating platform (Alterovitz & Mendelsohn, 2011; Barraket, & Henry-Waring, 2008; Donn & Sherman, 2002). Romantic motives include the need for love and affection, the desire to develop committed romantic and sexual relationships and wanting to share life with a partner (Kang & Hoffman, 2011). Individuals with romantic motives tend to be rather future-oriented. Both men and women use the internet with the objective of finding romantic partners to develop long lasting relationships with (Rosenfeld & Thomas, 2012; Sautter, Tippett & Morgan, 2010). As stated before, emerging adulthood is the phase in which romantic relationships tend to take a more committed form. Therefore it is interesting
8 to explore what role Tinder might play in the formation of these committed romantic
relationships.
Second, arranging real-life sexual encounters, or hook-ups, is identified as a motive for online dating across different studies (Clemens et al., 2015; Couch & Liampputong, 2008). Going online to find offline sex partners is becoming a more common practice in society today (Daneback, Mansson, & Ross, 2007). Several studies show that men tend to have sexual motives for using online dating services more frequently than women (Cooper, Månsson, Daneback, Tikkanen, & Ross, 2003; Cooper, Morahan-Martin, Mathy, & Maheu, 2002; Daneback et al., 2007; McWilliams & Barrett, 2014). The current study aims to explore if and in what way emerging adults use Tinder to arrange offline sexual encounters.
A third motive for using online dating platforms is the desire to meet new people and build friendships (Lawson & Leck, 2006; Wang & Chang, 2010). In this case, individuals do not per se have romantic or sexual motives but are rather looking for companionship or
individuals to engage in specific activities or hobbies with (McWilliams & Barrett, 2014). The internet and online dating platforms provide environments in which it is easy to find
individuals with similar interests, values, personalities and backgrounds (Bonebrake, 2002). Previous research shows that women tend to have non-romantic motives more often than men (McWilliams & Barrett, 2014).
Fourth, escapism is a recurring motive across studies. (Clemens, Atkin & Krishnan, 2015; Wang & Chang, 2010). Escapism can be described as seeking distraction and relief from realities that individuals experience as unpleasant. In some cases individuals use online dating platforms to avoid distressing thoughts or situations they face in the offline world, for example while going through a relationship break-up, dealing with illness or another life crisis (Lawson & Leck, 2006). Because emerging adulthood is characterized by change and
9 escape. Therefore, the current study seeks to investigate if emerging adults actively use Tinder to escape from real-life worries and unpleasant situations.
The role of social competence
The level of social competence in offline settings is often believed to play a role in individual’s likeliness to engage in online dating. However, there is much academic debate on the topic, dominated by two opposing views (Poley & Luo, 2012). On the one hand, the rich-get-richer theory suggests that people with strong dating skills and social skills are more inclined to go online to meet new people. This perspective was supported by a study on online daters in the Netherlands. Individuals who scored low on dating anxiety were more involved in online dating than individuals who reported high levels of dating anxiety (Valkenburg & Peter, 2007). Opposite to this perspective is the social compensation theory which states that social awkwardness, dating anxiety and limited options to meet people offline are important motives for people to engage in online dating. Support for this theory is found in previous studies as well (e.g. Kang & Hoffman, 2011; McKenna & Bargh, 2000). These two opposing views will be further explored when looking at how emerging adults use Tinder to meet new people and form relationships.
Self-presentation management
Although not considered a direct motive to engage in online dating, the opportunities for self-presentation management might be part of the appeal of online dating platforms (e.g., Ellison, Heino & Gibbs, 2006; Guadagno, Okdie & Kruse, 2012). Online dating services allow users to control their self-presentation to a great extent, offering ample opportunities for exaggerated self-presentation and misrepresentation. A survey amongst online daters showed that 86% felt other users were dishonest about their physical appearance (Gibbs, Ellison & Heino, 2006). Additionally, a qualitative study found that users of online dating sites consider
10 it the norm to lie about certain qualities and conceal others, in order to be more attractive to other members of the dating service (Ellison et al., 2006).
From a gender perspective, men are found to emphasize their professional status through the profile pictures they post on their social media profiles, for example by wearing business clothing. Women, on the other hand accentuate family relationships by posting photos of themselves with relatives (Tifferet & Vilnai-Yavets, 2014). Additionally, men like to post full-body images on their social media profiles, while women often prefer to share portrait photos of themselves (Haferkamp, Eimler, Papadakis & Kruck, 2012). In their online dating profiles, older men focus on professional achievements and financial success, while older women highlight their beauty and sociability (Mcwilliams & Barrett, 2014). The current study attempts to uncover if these gender differences concerning self-presentation also apply to emerging adults on Tinder. Attention will be paid to how emerging adults build their online dating profiles and the type of information they like to share about themselves.
Stigma attached to online dating
People who violate society’s ideas on what is natural and normal behavior for members of a specific group become stigmatized (Goffman, 1963). Individuals who do not conform to society’s expectations must constantly balance which of their violating attributes they share with or hide from others. In contemporary western society there is a hardwired belief that love “happens” naturally, which means that it cannot and should not be purposely sought. Online daters ultimately challenge these common ideas about love and the formation of relationships, which might lead to their stigmatization (Lawson & Leck, 2006).
Participants of various qualitative studies on online dating report experiencing some form of social stigma in their social environment (e.g., Henry-Waring & Barraket, 2008; Lawson & Leck, 2006). Although the vast majority of users of online dating platforms consider these services a good way to meet people, they feel that people around them often
11 hold more negative views of online dating. These sentiments are backed by data from the Pew Research Center. In their 2013 survey of the American public while 59% viewed online dating as a good way to meet people, 29% of the respondents labeled online daters as
“desperate” (Smith & Duggan, 2013). This indicates that, although online dating is becoming a more conventional way to meet others, it is not yet completely accepted by society. The current study aims to explore if, and in what way, emerging adults experience stigma concerning their use of Tinder.
Methodology Procedure
Participants were initially recruited through the personal social network of the researcher. The initial recruitment round resulted in twelve eligible participants. In a second stage, snowball sampling was used in order to reach a satisfying number of participants. During the first interviews, participants were asked whether they knew other individuals who were also active Tinder users and who might be interested in taking part in this study. A list of an additional twelve possible participants was rendered this way. After reaching out to these individuals, eight additional participants were recruited to take part in the current study.
Sample
In total, twenty participants were interviewed for this study. This number ensured data saturation and thus ultimately increased the validity of the current study. Ten of the
participants who took part in this research were women and ten were men. This equal division made it possible to explore if and in which way gender might play a role in the motives emerging adults have for using Tinder and the satisfaction of these motives. The participants ranged in age from nineteen to twenty-nine, which means they all fit into the targeted age range of eighteen to thirty years old (M = 25.45, SD = 2.74). Two of the female participants self-identified as gay, eighteen indicated to be heterosexual. Sixteen participants were single
12 at the time of the interview and four were currently in a relationship. All four participants that were in a relationship met their partner through Tinder. All of the interviewees have met up with at least one person who they met through Tinder.
Means-end approach
Consumers’ likeliness to adopt new communication technologies is believed to be based on the expected consequences of using these new technologies. Consumers tend to select and use online applications that will most likely lead to desired outcomes (McMillan & Morrison, 2006). When studying the uses and gratifications of online communication
platforms, a means-end approach is often used. This approach proposes a model for
understanding and describing consumers’ core values and beliefs by exploring the connection between platform characteristics, the consequences of these characteristics for the user, and the personal values of the user.
According to Hawley (2009) this means-end approach is especially suitable for exploring the first stages of user experience research because it can be used to identify
people’s intentions, behavior and values regarding products, applications or technologies they use. Pai and Arnott (2013) used this approach to explain users’ adoption of online social networking sites. Because user motives and user experience concerning mobile dating applications Tinder have not yet been studied, this means-end approach is also applicable to the current study. The theory states that there is a hierarchical chain of user perceptions that ranges from attributes (A) to consequences (C) to values (V).
Attributes. At the bottom of this hierarchy, attributes are most visible to the user. Users are easily able to recognize the different attributes of a product or technology.
Attributes typically have limited significance because they often don’t explain the underlying motives for using a product or technology. When applying this to the current study, a girl might say she likes Tinder because the application allows her to chat with other users.
13 Consequences. The following step of the means-end chain is identifying the
consequences of attributes for the user. Consequences focus on the impact and meaning of attributes and therefore tend to uncover a much wider range of insights in the user’s relationship with the application. For example, utilizing Tinder’s chat function has
consequences for the user. The girl from our example might like to chat with men on Tinder because she gets a lot of compliments that way.
Values. Finally, at the top level of the hierarchy, consequences are linked to values in
the user’s life. According to the means-end chain, personal values play a critical role in guiding people’s decisions, even though the individuals making these decisions are often not fully aware of this. In the example mentioned here, the compliments the girl receives on Tinder make her feel wanted and attractive. Feeling attractive is thus the core value that is uncovered in this case.
Laddering interviews
The interview guide was based on the aforementioned means-end approach (Grunert & Grunert, 1995), which allowed the researcher to fully investigate the underlying motivations and the actual experiences participants have concerning Tinder. Individuals tend to mainly focus on product attributes when they are asked about technologies or services they use. In order to gain insight in the consequences of these attributes and the core values users hold, laddering techniques were used. The main advantage of using this technique is that it facilitates the discovery of both implicit and explicit choice criteria by asking participants “why” questions. These questions guide them from talking about concrete attributes of Tinder to more abstract values they hold. These abstract values are the deeper motivators for using Tinder.
In order to answer the research questions, data was gathered from semi-structured individual interviews with emerging adults (see Appendix for the full interview guide that was
14 used). Individual interviews were most suitable for this study because the topic of online dating might be sensitive to some participants. Therefore it is believed to be more comfortable for participants to talk about the subject one on one and not in front of other participants, as would be the case in a focus group. Interviews took place in the homes of each participant or in another place of their choice. This was done in order to guarantee a safe and comfortable setting in which participants felt free to talk about their motives and experiences concerning Tinder. All interviews lasted between thirty minutes and ninety minutes.
Analysis
The data gathered from the interviews was analyzed in an inductive way, using a grounded theory approach. This means that patterns, categories and themes arose from the collected data and were not established prior to conducting this study. Data analysis was carried out using software program Atlas.ti. In a first step, transcripts of all interviews were divided in segments and open coding techniques were used to label the data. Both exact quotes from the participants and emotions and attitudes they conveyed during the interviews were coded in this phase. After all of the interviews had been coded, open codes were recoded where necessary in order to eliminate multiple codes with the same meaning and to
standardize codes across all interviews. In a later stage of selective coding, all codes were categorized into themes. These themes were both motivations for using Tinder and additional themes that arose from the data. Finally, patterns and connections between different themes were identified based on codes and notes made in earlier stages of the coding process as well as during the interviews.
Sensitizing concepts
Sensitizing concepts can serve as a useful tool for organizing and interpreting qualitative data but they are not leading in the analysis of the data (Bowen, 2006). Two sensitizing concepts were used to help interpret the results of this study. These concepts are
15 self-presentation management and social stigma. Both of these concepts have been found in existing research concerning the formation of relationships online (Ellison et al., 2006; Guadagno et al., 2012; Henry-Waring & Barraket, 2008; Lawson & Leck, 2006; Smith & Duggan, 2013). Although the sensitizing concepts were not literally mentioned in the interview questions, they were taken into account in the analysis of the answers provided by the participants of this study.
To explore in what way emerging adults manage their self-presentation on Tinder, participants were asked questions about the content of their own Tinder profiles and the construction of these profiles. Attention was paid to the qualities they highlighted as well as qualities they might try to cover up, as this indicates how they want to be perceived by others. Additionally, participants were asked if the people they had met up with in real life had turned out to be the way they presented themselves in their Tinder profiles. Both physical traits and personality traits were taken into account.
In order to investigate if participants experienced social stigma concerning their use of Tinder, they were asked how the app is perceived within their social circle. Additionally, attention was paid to the way participants talked about Tinder themselves. It is important to take this into account because the level of acceptance of Tinder that participants experience in their social circle might influence their own attitudes as well as their use or discontinuation of the app.
Results
Data analysis revealed four major motivations emerging adults have for using Tinder. These motives were (1) developing a committed relationship, (2) arranging sexual hook-ups, (3) meeting new people, and (4) getting over a past relationship. In addition to these
16 the data. These themes are social competence, (in)accuracy of self-presentation and stigma attached to online dating.
Motivations for using Tinder
Developing a committed relationship. A number of participants indicated that they
used Tinder in hopes of finding romance and developing a committed relationship. Although all these participants indicated that they were looking for love, there were some differences in their ideas of what their future relationship should be like. A few of the participants, all of whom female, indicated that they were looking for the person to spend the rest of their lives with.
Megan, 28: “I’m 28 and, although I don’t really like to admit it, I know that time is ticking. I’m constantly reminded of that. So yes, I was done wasting my time and really wanted to start building a life with someone, you know. That’s why I started using it.”
Other participants, both male and female, also expressed the desire to be in a
relationship but they were less focused on their long-term future. For these participants, being in a relationship was more about fulfilling their current needs for love and affection. Some of these participants were ambiguous about whether or not they wanted to be in a relationship as they showed mixed feelings about the issue.
Rob, 24: “I got on Tinder because I felt I was ready to be in a relationship. So then you start having Tinder dates to see if you have a certain connection with someone that could develop into something serious.”
17 Renée, 24: “Sometimes I just feel this need to have a boyfriend. Like I want someone to be mine and I want to be his. I don’t know why because at the same time I like being single. But when I do feel like that, those are the times that I would go on Tinder”
Arranging sexual hook-ups. A second motive participants named for using
Tinder was setting up real-life sexual hook-ups. While none of the female interviewees initially listed this motive, most male participants stated having sex with people they meet on Tinder as a motivation to use the app. However, there were different dimensions to this motive. For some, having sex was just one of multiple motivations they had. These participants often viewed having sex as a nice bonus instead of their main objective.
Nathan, 24: “At least I always make an effort to take them out to a bar. But it has happened that we got to the bar at 9 o’clock and were on the way to her house by 11. So I guess that sort of comes down to having a sex date. But I can’t say sex is my main goal. That’s just how things go. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t.”
On the other hand, there were a few participants, all of whom were male, who named arranging casual hook-ups as their primary reason for using Tinder. These participants did not have romantic motives and often were not interested in getting to know the people they met through the app.
Sam, 25: “Well I wasn’t on Tinder looking for actual ‘date dates’, like dinner and a movie, that kind of thing. I just wanted to hook up with these girls.”
18 formed the main reason for engaging in Tinder. These participants used Tinder to get in contact with people when they were traveling abroad or had recently moved to a place where they did not yet have a social network. Tinder enabled these individuals to meet up with both locals and other tourists who were in close geographical proximity to them.
Monique, 28: “There was a period last year when I used Tinder for a completely different reason. I was traveling to Thailand by myself and wanted to see if I could meet people that where on the same island. I actually had a boyfriend at home and I stated clearly on my profile that I was only looking for people to meet up with and nothing more than that.”
Linda, 19: “I joined Tinder when I moved to Amsterdam because I was looking for people to hang out with, and didn’t really know anyone in this city. I wasn’t looking for dates or anything like that but decided to use Tinder because everybody seems to be on it here, so I figured it would be a good way to reach a lot of different people. And it’s a lot easier than talking to random people in the streets of course.”
Getting over a past relationship. For several participants of this study, dealing with a
recent romantic break-up formed a major motive to start using Tinder. Both men and women who were interviewed explained that they used Tinder to get over their previous relationship. However, there were different ways in which Tinder played a role in this process. For some participants, using the app was a way to find distraction from the situation they found themselves in.
Thomas, 21: “After breaking up with my girlfriend my friends told me to get on Tinder. They said it would take my mind off of the whole thing. And to a certain degree I guess it did.
19 Instead of thinking about my break-up late at night, I was swiping left and right and talking to all these other girls.”
Other participants reported that receiving positive attention and compliments from people on Tinder had a positive effect on their self-esteem, which in most cases had suffered a severe blow due to their recent break-up. In these cases Tinder played a role in rebuilding self-confidence. Most participants who reported these experiences were female.
Wendy, 22: “I decided to install Tinder right after my boyfriend broke up with me and I didn’t really know what I wanted to get out of it, but still I kept ‘collecting’ matches. Having all those boys telling me that I looked beautiful made me feel good about myself in a time when I actually felt really down and depressed.”
Tinder experiences
Social competence. All of the participants talked about the differences and similarities
they experience between online communication through Tinder and offline dating scenes. Some of the participants explained that they felt more comfortable initiating conversations with strangers online than in real life and for a couple of them Tinder helped lower their dating anxiety.
Charlotte, 24: “I’m the most awkward person on the planet. When I’m in a club for example and talk to someone - well, there is no way I’m going to talk to a guy. But I mean when a guy talks to me, I just freak out. Literally. I goof out and act weird.”
Interviewer: “And is this different when you meet someone on Tinder?”
20 have to worry about blushing or how I look. I only met up with two guys, but with both I noticed that because we had talked on Tinder and we knew we had things in common we could talk about that.
On the contrary, some participants viewed Tinder as an instrument to amplify the amount of social interactions they had with others. Usually, these individuals did not experience social awkwardness or dating anxiety in offline settings. They were merely looking to expand their possibilities of meeting potential partners by using Tinder.
Lucas, 26: “I meet a lot of girls in bars and clubs when I go out but I figured I could meet more people by going on Tinder. So why not? It’s like you double your opportunities of meeting interesting people.”
(In)accuracy of self-presentation. Most participants indicated that they had been on
Tinder dates where the other person turned out to be different in real life than they expected from their online communication. One of the reasons respondents named for this was that some people turned out to be less sociable and talkative in real life than via chat and text. Both male and female participants complained about this during the interviews.
Mark, 27: “In real life she was nothing like I expected from our chats. Online she was this tough girl: funny, witty and sarcastic while in person she was just shy and nervous. That was the biggest disillusion by far.”
However, in most cases participants reported discrepancies between the profile pictures and the way their date looked in real life. Almost all male participants complained
21 about girls’ Tinder pictures being deceptive, altered, or at best outdated. One experience that was mentioned by many of them was that the girls they met up with were heavier in person than could be expected from the way they portrayed themselves in their Tinder profiles.
Sam, 25: “So I meet up with this girl and as soon as she walks into the bar I see that she’s just really fat. I don’t mean like a few pounds or slightly overweight but more like obese! She gained so much weight that even her face didn’t look like the pictures anymore you know.”
Female participants did not report similar experiences with the men they met through the app. When asked about their own profiles however, most female interviewees admitted to highlighting their best physical features while covering up qualities they considered less desirable. Some of the women experienced friction between being truthful and being attractive in their profiles, yet none of them felt like they were being outright deceitful.
Yvette, 27:“There is a very fine line between showing your most beautiful and successful self on your profile and being dishonest about who you really are and what you look like. Of course you want to use your best pictures but at the same time you want your date to recognize you when he sees you and not be disappointed because you don’t look so pretty in person.”
Stigma attached to online dating. Almost all of the participants of this study
explained that they experienced some form of social stigma attached to the use of online dating services in general and Tinder specifically. Some of the interviewees stated that the
22 social stigma attached to Tinder was limited to occasional jokes or disbelief. Others said that using the app made them look desperate in the eyes of their peers.
Charlotte, 24: “Every time I tell somebody I’m on Tinder I get the same reaction. They say: ‘Giiiirl, you don’t need that, you can meet someone the normal way, look at you, etc. etc.’ So, to answer your question, I guess it’s not completely accepted yet.”
Susy, 25: “It is still not something to be very proud of. Because it’s still kind of pathetic. I don’t know... As if you are on Tinder because you fail to find a nice person in normal life.”
For other participants, however, the social stigma they experienced was so severe that they felt the need to hide their use of the app from their family and some of their friends. Additionally, some interviewees explained that Tinder was not the right place to meet
someone according to their friends because they perceived it as a sex app. These participants, mainly girls, stated that using Tinder was looked down upon by their environment.
Anna, 27: “I met Julian on Tinder but only some of our friends know about this. […] It’s just not that accepted in my group of friends. I was already one of the last of my
girlfriends to get into a serious relationship and I did not want to make it even worse by telling them I was on Tinder. So my friends and parents think that we met through mutual friends.”
23
Discussion
Research on online dating has thus far mainly focused on older adults and other niche demographics such as gays and lesbians. The current study attempted to contribute specific knowledge on emerging adults’ use of online dating platforms because this is a growing yet understudied segment of the online dating market. In the first place this study set out to explore emerging adults’ motivations for using the popular online dating platform Tinder. Second, the current study attempted to contribute to existing research on the topic of online dating by adding a dimension that very little is known about. By looking at the actual experiences emerging adults have with Tinder, deeper insight was gained in the role the app plays in their lives and the attitudes they hold towards online dating.
Online dating motives
This study identified four major motives that emerging adults have for using Tinder. These motives are obtaining a romantic relationship, arranging sexual hook-ups, meeting new people and getting over a past relationship. These motives generally match the main motives that were identified in previous online dating research (Clemens et al., 2015; Kang &
Hoffman, 2011; Lawson & Leck, 2006; Mcwilliams & Barrett, 2014). Interestingly however, many of the more specific dimensions to these motives were distinctive of emerging
adulthood.
In the first place, the emerging adults who were interviewed for this study often held conflicting views on being in a committed relationships. Many of them used Tinder in search of romantic relationships, even when they often felt they were not ready to get serious with someone. While these individuals expressed the need for love and affection, they were also anxious about the responsibilities that come with sharing a life with somebody. Another concern participants voiced, was that a committed relationship would jeopardize their personal freedom. This ambiguity fits the characterization of emerging adulthood as a phase
24 of uncertainty and feeling in between (Arnett, 2000). While most emerging adults have
outgrown juvenile relationships, they are intimidated by the duties that come with adult relationships. On the other hand, there were a few participants who indicated to be on Tinder to find a life-long partner. All of these participants were female, which supports the idea that women value stability and commitment more than men (Meier et al., 2009).
Second, arranging offline sexual encounters forms an important reason for some emerging adults to use Tinder. The current study found that men have sexual motives more often than women, corroborating previous research on using the internet to find sex partners (Cooper, Månsson, Daneback, Tikkanen, & Ross, 2003; Cooper, Morahan-Martin, Mathy, & Maheu, 2002; Daneback et al., 2007; McWilliams & Barrett, 2014). The participants of this study who actively used Tinder to satisfy their sexual needs mainly focused on the purely hedonistic and short-term pleasures of arranging sexual hook-ups. They indicated that they were not looking for a relationship and most of them expressed little or no interest in getting to know their sex partners on an emotional level. Thus, the idea that emerging adults often have different sexual partners in order to determine what it is they are looking for in a long-time partner (Claxton & Dulmen, 2013), was not supported by the data of this study.
Male participants frequently named sex as one of their main motives for using Tinder. Although some of the women who were interviewed for this study had sex with people they met on Tinder as well, they did not state arranging sexual hook-ups as an important motive to use the app. Despite growing acceptance of women’s sexual expression, it is a possibility that some of the interviewees still adhered to more traditional gender norms in answering
questions about their sexuality (Banker et al., 2010; Bogle, 2008). This finding seems to reinforce the notion that it is still more acceptable for men to openly express their sexuality (Taylor et al., 2013). Another explanation might be that women generally feel less
25 comfortable with casual sex and that they long for more emotional intimacy than men (Owen et al., 2010).
A third motive emerging adults expressed for using Tinder is meeting new people. The application was mainly used in this way by individuals who were new to a certain area or traveling abroad. Emerging adults who found themselves in a place where they had very limited social connections, used Tinder in order to meet people that are within close proximity from them. The apps’ GPS function allows users to search for only those individuals who are within a chosen geographical radius. Since Tinder is widely considered a dating and hook-up app, this motivation to use the app is rather surprising. However, this outcome supports the belief that control over media use has shifted from the companies who create media
applications to the consumers who use them (Macnamara, 2010). Consumers appropriate new technologies to fit their needs. They often use media applications in ways that were
unforeseen or unintended by the creators of these applications (Jung, 2013).
Finally, emerging adults used Tinder to get over a romantic break-up. This was done in two distinctive ways. In the first place, some participants who experienced heartache because of a relationship that ended, used Tinder to escape from painful or stressful thoughts and emotions that were a result of their recent break-up. This was the case for both men and women. Previous research shows that individuals use online dating to escape from worries related to many different aspects of their life, including their health, professional career and love life. (Lawson & Leck, 2006; Wang & Chang, 2010). However, the current study found that escapism was only a motive for participants who were going through a romantic break-up. In the second place, some emerging adults used Tinder in order to rebuild self-esteem and self-confidence after being rejected by a romantic partner. This was the case for multiple female participants of this study. Romantic break-ups often lead to insecurity and lowered self-esteem (Rolls, 2010). Receiving compliments from individuals on Tinder might help to
26 restore a positive self-image.
Social competence
Previous research on social competence either confirmed the rich-get-richer theory (Valkenburg & Peter, 2007), supported the social compensation hypothesis (McKenna & Bargh, 2000) or denied that either of the two had a significant influence on online dating behavior (Poley & Luo, 2012). In the current study however, support was found for both hypotheses. On the one hand, some emerging adults who already have extended opportunities to meet partners offline, still chose to use Tinder as this magnified their already wide range of possibilities to meet new people, form romantic relationships and arrange sexual hook-ups. On the other hand, individuals who experienced social awkwardness and dating anxiety liked to meet people on Tinder because the app lowered social barriers that they did experience in offline encounters. The fact that support was found for both the rich-get-richer hypothesis and the social compensation hypothesis seems contradictory. However, this outcome supports the notion that modern dating practices are extremely diverse and individualized (Banker et al., 2010; Taylor et. al., 2013).
Social stigma
Social stigma was a main theme that arose from the data, both in expected and in unexpected ways. In the first place, many participants experienced some form of social stigma attached to their use of Tinder. This is in line with dominant cultural ideas regarding normal ways to meet romantic or sexual partners, which do not include online dating (Henry-Waring & Barraket, 2008; Lawson & Leck, 2006). Because online dating is not yet fully accepted, emerging adults sometimes try to hide their use of Tinder from their social circle. Stigmatized individuals tend to carefully maneuver which parts of their socially undesirable traits they disclose to their environment (Goffman, 1963). Social stigma was more intense for those
27 individuals who did not have other Tinder users amongst their group of friends or other social contacts.
Secondly, emerging adults are expected to find a life partner with whom they can start a family (Arnett, 2000). Some interviewees felt stigmatized because they passed a certain age and had not settled down with a partner yet. They explained that their single lifestyle did not match society’s norms or expectations for someone of their age. This is in line with previous research on obtaining adult identity and the timing of life events such as marriage and having children (Eliason, Mortimer & Vuolo, 2015). It is noteworthy that all the participants who experienced this type of social stigma were single women in their late twenties, as this reinforces traditional gender perceptions about dating (Meier et al., 2009).
Accuracy of self-presentation
Users of online dating platforms consider deceit and deception the main disadvantages of online dating (Gibbs et al., 2006; Ellison et al., 2006). Participants of the current study also expressed concerns about the accuracy and truthfulness of other people on Tinder. When talking about other users’ Tinder profiles, respondents used harsh words to describe inaccuracies. Users who displayed very flattering photos were often called dishonest or deceitful. In judging their own profiles, however, respondents were milder. While some admitted to practices such as ‘emphasizing’ and ‘highlighting’ some of their positive qualities, they insisted that their profiles were accurate and authentic. The fact that most online daters feel that others are not being completely truthful might lead to users’ justification of their own deceptiveness (Gibbs et al., 2006). Individuals might feel the need to exaggerate some of their qualities in order to compete with other users who are doing this as well.
Accuracy of self-presentation was found to intersect with gender as well. While most men reported being completely truthful about their appearance in their online dating profiles, women frequently admitted to enhancing their profiles. This mainly concerned displaying
28 only very flattering, sometimes altered, pictures. To add to this, men reported that the women they dated through Tinder often looked better in their pictures than in real life. These findings lend support to the previously discussed idea that women mainly focus on beauty in their online dating profile (McWillams & Barrett, 2014) and that constructing an online dating profile requires users to carefully balance attractiveness and accuracy (Whitty, 2007).
Limitations and implications
This study explored what emerging adults are looking for on online dating application Tinder. Because the questions that were asked concerned highly sensitive topics such as love and sex, it is possible that participants offered socially desirable answers. This happened for example when a participant initially said she was on Tinder ‘just for fun’. In a later stage of the interview she admitted that she got on Tinder after a painful break-up. Despite the interviewer’s efforts to limit participants’ socially desirable answers, they cannot be
completely eliminated. However, different study designs, such as anonymous online surveys, will likely increase the accuracy of participants’ answers concerning their online dating motivations and experiences.
The current study offers an initial and crucial step in investigating emerging adults’ use of Tinder. The interview guide allowed many possibilities for participants to steer the interview in the direction of topics they wished to talk about. This was purposefully done in order to gain as much insight in online dating practices as possible. This approach led to a wide variety of themes and issues that were addressed in different interviews. However, it was not possible to examine all of the possible relationships between these different topics. Future research can build upon the current study by investigating each of the current themes in more detail and by looking at possible relationships between these themes. Studies could, for example, investigate how the social stigma attached to being single influences emerging adults’ online dating motives and activities.
29 Finally, the current study focused on the motives and experiences of heterosexual emerging adults. Only two of the participants were gay, making it hard to identify how sexual preference might play a role in emerging adults’ use of Tinder. Previous studies show that, next to romantic and sexual motives, entertainment is one of the main reasons for gay men to use dating app Grindr (Van de Wiele & Tong, 2014). It is possible that entertainment was not found to be a major motive in the current study because all of the participants of this study went on real-life dates with people they met on Tinder. Therefore, the participants of this study might have more serious motives than their peers who only use Tinder for online
communication. However, another explanation could be that there are important differences in online dating motivations between straight and gay emerging adults. To further investigate this, future studies could compare user motives based on sexual orientation. Additionally, it would be interesting to uncover if the themes that emerged from the current study also apply to gay emerging adults. Future research could, for example, investigate if homosexual online daters also experience social stigma and if the gender differences that were uncovered in the current study persist for homosexual online daters.
Despite these limitations, the current study identified a number of important motivations emerging adults have for using Tinder, as well as some issues that come with using the app. This offers valuable practical implications for online dating services that wish to target emerging adults. In the first place, it is important for online dating platforms to have a mobile application that includes a GPS function. This function is essential, as it allows users to meet up with people who are within close proximity to them. Moreover, this function can trigger emerging adults to use the app for other purposes than just online dating, for example when they are traveling abroad. Second, companies could use the results of this study to create more customized online dating applications. For example, individuals with dating anxiety might require more guidance in their online dating endeavors. Apps should include
30 functions to help them with initiating and maintaining contact with other users. This can be done by giving users suggestions on questions to ask or topics to talk about with others. Third, it is important that online dating platforms address the concerns users have regarding false self-presentation. Participants of this study were often disappointed when they met their date in real-life because they did not meet the expectations that were based on their online profile. Tinder only allows users to upload a limited amount of pictures and a short tagline. Future applications should give users more possibilities to express themselves in their profiles, as this could help to decrease misrepresentation. Examples of this could be a video chat function or the possibility to create a more elaborate profile which includes users’ interests, partner preferences and personality traits.
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36
Appendix A Interview guide
Goals Themes Sensitizing concepts
Goal 1:
Gaining insight in
motivations for engaging in online dating
Goal 2:
Figuring out what
participants expect(ed) of online dating
When asking about motives, see if they are similar to the 4 main motives described in theoretical framework
1. Motivations
Introduction:
As you know, this interview will be about online dating, and
specifically about Tinder. I’m particularly interested in your reasons for engaging in online dating and your experiences. First of all, I would like to hear about your reasons for using Tinder.
Initial question:
When did you start using Tinder?
Additional questions:
What is the reason you started using Tinder?
What did you expect to find on Tinder?
What does your Tinder profile look like? (pictures, tag line, interests) What do you look for when judging Tinder profiles?
Were you planning to arrange real- life dates through Tinder?
Sensitizing concepts:
Self-presentation management
Find out how participant attempts to manage their self-presentation. Which qualities are highlighted and which are covered up?
37 Goal 1: Gaining insight in participants’ experiences with Tinder Goal 2: Comparing participants’ experiences to their expectations concerning Tinder Goal 3: Uncovering attitudes towards online dating, both from the participant and their social environment
2. Experiences
Introduction:
Now that I know about your reasons for using Tinder, I would like to hear about your real-life experiences.
Initial question:
Have you met up in person with people you met through Tinder?
Additional questions:
How often have you done this? How did you experience these dates?
Do you date multiple people at the same time?
Do you experience a difference in dating people you met offline compared to dating someone you met on Tinder?
How is Tinder conceived within your social network?
Did you find what you were looking for on Tinder?
End of interview:
Ask participant if they have anything to add, thank participant etc.
Sensitizing concepts:
Stigma: Find out if and to what extend participants experience a stigma
concerning Tinder by asking how people in their social environment perceive the app.
Stigma might also be revealed in the way participants talk about Tinder and their own experiences with the app.
