Interaction between individual and community narratives: An Exploratory Case Study of the Volendam Fire 2000

Interaction between individual and

community narratives

An Exploratory Case Study of the Volendam

Fire 2000

Anouk Driessen

Universiteit Leiden

Interaction between individual and community narratives

An Exploratory Case Study of the Volendam Fire 2000

Author

Anouk Driessen

S2647391

Master Crisis & Security Management

Faculty of Governance and Global Affairs

Leiden University

Supervisor

Dr. P.G.M. Aarten

Second reader

Acknowledgements

Before you lies my thesis Interaction between individual and community narratives: An exploratory case study of the Volendam Fire 2000. This thesis is the final chapter of the master Crisis & Security Management at Leiden University. By writing my thesis within the research project of the Volendam Fire, I got the opportunity to dive into an actual case of crisis management. It was a unique and interesting experience to work closely with the community of Volendam.

I want to thank my supervisor, Dr. Pauline Aarten, for the guidance and support in this process. Next to your valuable feedback, I appreciate your helpfulness in conducting narrative interviews. Also, I want to thank Dr. Vincent van der Vlies for your help in the contact with respondents and the com-munity of Volendam. Moreover, I want to thank my fellow student Sander Koks for our cooperation in conducting and transcribing interviews. It was a pleasure to work with you. Above all, I want to thank all the respondents for their willingness and openness to speak about the Volendam Fire. I felt very welcome, both online and at home. The interviews made this research so interesting and intriguing.

Abstract

This study focuses on the interaction between individual and community narratives after the Volendam Fire. Previous studies on this case concentrated on the short-term and/or individual level. Although research of other cases show that disasters have a long-term impact, research into the long-term impact on a community level has not been conducted yet. The impact of disasters are expressed in narratives, both by individuals as communities. These individual and community narratives are established in interaction with one another. In order to provide insights into this interaction, fourteen narrative inter-views with victims, relatives and other closely-related people of the Volendam Fire were conducted. For the analysis, this study used the twofold structure by Polkinghorne (1995). First, the narrative analysis moves from common elements to stories, based on the plots described by Booker (2004). Second, the analysis of narratives focuses on common themes across these stories. The strong work ethic of Volendam underlies the community narrative after the fire. On the one hand, this results in a strong network within the community. On the other hand, respondents argue that it comes with a tendency to avoid pain and to rather not speak about emotions. This made it difficult to share their experience of the Volendam Fire. For some respondents, this was reinforced by a victim hierarchy. In brief, the strong work ethic and strength of Volendam, as expressed in the community narrative, exerts pressure on individual narratives.

Contents

Acknowledgements i

Abstract ii

List of Abbreviations vii

List of Tables viii

1 Introduction 1 1.1 Problem definition . . . 2 1.2 Research Question . . . 4 1.3 Societal Relevance . . . 4 1.4 Academic Relevance . . . 5 1.5 Reading guide . . . 6 2 Body of knowledge 7 2.1 Introduction . . . 7 2.2 Individual narratives . . . 9 2.3 Community narratives . . . 11

2.4 Narratives: interaction and victimisation . . . 13

2.4.1 Interaction between individual and community narratives . . . 13

2.4.2 Victimisation and narratives . . . 13

2.5 Knowledge gap . . . 14

3 Methodology 16 3.1 Narrative inquiry . . . 16

3.2 Interviews . . . 18

3.3 Participants . . . 19

4.1 Summary of narratives . . . 22 4.1.1 Narrative of Lucas . . . 22 4.1.2 Narrative of Brian . . . 23 4.1.3 Narrative of Ellen . . . 25 4.1.4 Narrative of Merel . . . 27 4.1.5 Narrative of Lisette . . . 30 4.1.6 Narrative of Linda . . . 32 4.1.7 Narrative of Bart . . . 33 4.1.8 Narrative of Willem . . . 34 4.1.9 Narrative of Pieter . . . 37 4.1.10 Narrative of Fred . . . 39 4.1.11 Narrative of Arnold . . . 39 4.1.12 Narrative of Marcel . . . 41 4.1.13 Narrative of Alex . . . 42 4.1.14 Narrative of Leendert . . . 44

4.2 The role of the Volendam Fire in the respondents’ narratives . . . 47

4.2.1 Tragedy . . . 47

4.2.2 Quest . . . 48

4.2.3 Voyage and Return . . . 50

4.2.4 Rebirth . . . 51

4.2.5 Conclusion . . . 51

5 Results of analysis of narratives 53 5.1 Summary of narratives . . . 53 5.1.1 Narrative of Lucas . . . 53 5.1.2 Narrative of Brian . . . 54 5.1.3 Narrative of Ellen . . . 55 5.1.4 Narrative of Merel . . . 56 5.1.5 Narrative of Lisette . . . 56 5.1.6 Narrative of Linda . . . 57 5.1.7 Narrative of Bart . . . 58 5.1.8 Narrative of Willem . . . 58 5.1.9 Narrative of Pieter . . . 59 5.1.10 Narrative of Fred . . . 59

5.1.11 Narrative of Arnold . . . 60

5.1.12 Narrative of Marcel . . . 62

5.1.13 Narrative of Alex . . . 64

5.1.14 Narrative of Leendert . . . 65

5.2 Common themes on the community of Volendam . . . 66

5.2.1 The strong work ethic of Volendam . . . 66

5.2.2 Victim hierarchy . . . 68

5.2.3 View on victims . . . 70

5.2.4 View on the memorial . . . 71

5.2.5 View on the reopening of ’t Hemeltje and the future of Volendam . . . 72

5.3 Overview of common themes . . . 73

5.4 Interaction between individual and community narratives . . . 74

6 Conclusion 78 6.1 Conclusion . . . 78

6.2 Strengths and limitations . . . 79

6.3 Recommendations for future research . . . 81

References 82 A Interview Outline 88 B Transcripts 91 B.1 Transcript Lucas . . . 92 B.2 Transcript Brian . . . 107 B.3 Transcript Ellen . . . 134 B.4 Transcript Merel . . . 146 B.5 Transcript Lisette . . . 170

B.6 Transcript Linda and Bart . . . 179

B.7 Transcript Willem . . . 191 B.8 Transcript Pieter . . . 228 B.9 Transcript Fred . . . 234 B.10 Transcript Arnold . . . 239 B.11 Transcript Marcel . . . 254 B.12 Transcript Alex . . . 265

List of Abbreviations

BSNV Belangenvereniging Slachtoffers Nieuwjaarsbrand.

NNV Nazorgstichting Nieuwjaarsbrand Volendam.

List of Tables

3.1 Overview of respondents . . . 21

Chapter 1

Introduction

In 2000, a disaster happened in Volendam, an old fishing village near Amsterdam (Commissie On-derzoek Caf´ebrand Nieuwjaarsnacht, 2001a). On New Year’s Eve in 2000, a small caf´e was packed with over 300 youngsters, who had barely wished each other a ‘Happy New Year’, when a fire broke out. In the caf´e, ‘’t Hemeltje’, sparklers were lit. As it had just been Christmas, the ceiling was dec-orated with dry pine branches. Around twenty minutes past twelve, the decorations caught fire. The fire rapidly spread throughout the caf´e. The fire blaze took ‘only’ one minute (Welling et al., 2005). However, it caused the temperature to rise immensely (Commissie Onderzoek Caf´ebrand Nieuw-jaarsnacht, 2001b). The dry pine branches disseminated around the caf´e, causing the clothes and skin of those inside to burn (Welling et al., 2005). The caf´e was overcrowded and the immense heat and smoke development made it hard to escape. Moreover, there was a lack of escape routes (Commissie Onderzoek Caf´ebrand Nieuwjaarsnacht, 2001b). The fire took the lives of fourteen youngsters, who died directly by the fire and its heat or passed away afterwards. It also caused (serious) injuries to more than two hundred visitors. Injured visitors were spread out across several hospitals, even in Belgium and Germany (Welling et al., 2005).

For Volendam, a small village with a strong sense of community, the fire had a heavy impact in the months after the fire, as stated in the research report of Commissie Onderzoek Caf´ebrand Nieuw-jaarsnacht (2001a). Besides the severe injuries, it was a traumatic experience for victims, together with their loved ones, volunteers and medical personnel (Inspectie van Gezondheidszorg, 2003). In the years after the fire, multiple studies showed mental health issues among victims and their sur-roundings (Dorn, Kerssens, Ten Veen & IJzermans, 2003; Inspectie van Gezondheidszorg, 2003; Reijneveld, Crone, Schuller, Verhulst & Verloove-Vanhorick, 2004). Although no research has been done after this, the aftermath is presumably ongoing. This assumption is based on documentation of

the stories of victims and their surroundings a few years after the fire as captured by Janssen, Velden and Kleber (2002), and other studies of disasters, such as the study of Gersons, Carlier and IJzermans (2000) on the long-term effects of the Bijlmer disaster. The above-mentioned studies are elaborated in the next section, together with the knowledge gap that occurs among this case.

1.1

Problem definition

This case is not underexposed in research. Several studies have been conducted, focusing on policy measures and the impact on individual (mental) health. For example, the book of Janssen et al. (2002) gathered stories a little over a year after the fire and argued that the recovery process was still ongoing and would continue to do so, as the consequences are far-reaching, such as work-related problems and concerns for the future in terms of health and career.

More specifically, the research of Reijneveld et al. (2004) showed an increase in anxiety, depression, concentration problems and aggression of victims, five months after the fire. After two years, the study of Dorn et al. (2003) demonstrated an increase in alcohol consumption of victims and their classmates. According to the researchers, this could be related to the fire. Moreover, the Health In-spectorate concluded that psychological issues occurred among victims and their families, three years after the fire. This report argued that victims, families, surroundings and care providers are likely to face mental health issues (like PTSS) years after the fire. (Gersons et al., 2000).

Since then, no research has been done on this case, although research shows that the psychological impact of disasters can have long-term effects. The study of Gersons et al. (2000) focused on the impact of the Bijlmer disaster. In 1992, a plane crashed in the Bijlmer, a block of flats in Amsterdam, and hit two buildings. It led to the death of 43 people. Gersons et al. (2000) showed that eight years after this disaster those directly affected still faced psychological consequences, such as chronic stress that resulted in ”unexplained physical problems”. In a like manner, the study of Morren, Dirkzwager, Kessels and Yzermans (2007) studied the long-term effects of the Enschede Fireworks Disaster. In 2000, a firework depot exploded in a residential neighbourhood of Enschede, causing the death of 18 residents and 4 firefighters. It injured almost 1000 people and left 1200 people homeless. This re-search found delayed increases in the appearance of psychological symptoms, years after the disaster. It emphasizes that effects of a disaster may appear after a year or more.

Across the globe, multiple studies underline the long-term psychological impact of disasters. For example, the study of Thomas, Frankenberg, Seeman and Sumantri (2018) focused on the effect of stress, twelve years after the Indian Ocean tsunami that killed 5% of the population living along the coast of Indonesia. Those exposed to this disaster experienced high-levels of post-traumatic stress. Moreover, the study of LaJoie, Sprang and McKinney (2010) conducted research five years after Hurricane Katrina (2005) which forced over a million people to evacuate. It demonstrates long-term negative effects on the psychological well-being of evacuees and stresses the importance of long-term mental health care. Still, McFarlane and Williams (2012) argue that the long-term needs of affected populations are often underexposed and underestimated. A disaster grasps the public interest and concern immediately after the event, but it tends to be forgotten when time passes.

So, a disaster often has a continued impact on the mental health of affected individuals (Havenaar & Bromet, 2003). The impact of a disaster can also be felt on a communal level (Pfefferbaum, Reissman, Pfefferbaum, Klomp & Gurwitch, 2007), as a community consists of interacting individuals (Ungar, 2011). A ‘community disaster’ can change the social structure of a community. It can threaten the community’s functioning (Pfefferbaum et al., 2007). This community focus is of great importance, as effective management in the aftermath of a disaster relies on a community’s social network. These networks connects and supports those affected in a community and links them to the disaster system of care (Pfefferbaum, Van Horn & Pfefferbaum, 2017).

The impact of a disaster is expressed in narratives, especially in individual narratives. In short, a narrative is: “an act consisting of someone telling someone else that something happened” (Brison, 2002, p.102). In case of victimisation, individuals are often in search for an explanation of the impact-ful event (Crossley, 2000). This process of meaning-making creates structure and meaning in one’s life (Fivush, 2010). So, narratives are of great importance for individuals who have been victimized (Crossley, 2000).

Furthermore, the interpersonal process of narrative development is important to victims. In short, individual narratives are formed in interaction with others. It interacts with the community narrative which is seen as ”a story common among a group of people” Rappaport (2000, p. 4). Victimisa-tion affects the connecVictimisa-tion between individual and community narratives, as the life story of a victim might not correspond with the community narrative. For the victim, this can result in feelings of doubt, uncertainty and shame towards his or her story (Pemberton, Aarten & Mulder, 2018). These key concepts and processes are elaborated in the third chapter.

In academics, there is little attention for the long-term impact of a disaster on a community level. As a result, there is no scientific model that provides a conceptualization, representation and/or explanation of how a community (narrative) is affected by a disaster. As stated above, individual and community narratives are developed in interaction with one another. Therefore, this research can provide insights into the interaction between these narratives. Subsequently, these insights can be used to further improve aftercare, keeping the individual and community narrative (and its interaction) in mind.

1.2

Research Question

This research aims to answer the following question:

”How do individual narratives and the community narrative of the Volendam Fire 2001 interact?”

To answer this research question, the analysis is divided into two parts:

1. What are the individuals narratives of the respondents on the Volendam Fire? And how does it occur in their (life) stories?

2. What are the narratives on the community of Volendam? And which common themes appear in these narratives?

This research is part of a project which aims to demonstrate the long-term impact of a disaster on community narratives. Moreover, it strives to outline a theoretical and conceptual framework of a disaster’s effect on community narratives. Finally, these insights, from a narrative perspective, will be used to formulate a recommendation how (local) responsiveness and interventions can be improved, for the community of Volendam, but also for other communities affected by disasters. This research contributes to this aim, by conducting narrative interviews and disclosing the interaction between individual and community narratives

1.3

Societal Relevance

As highlighted above, research on an individual level provided insight into the short-term impact of the Volendam Fire (Dorn et al., 2003; Reijneveld et al., 2004). However, there has been no research on the long-term impact, both on an individual and community level. These levels and their interactions

are of great value, because of the following reasons.

To begin with, as discussed in the problem definition above, research shows that disasters have a long-term impact on an individual level (Brackbill, Graber & Robison, 2019; Gersons et al., 2000; LaJoie et al., 2010; Morren et al., 2007; Stevens et al., 2013). The interaction between the individual narrative and community narrative is of great importance. These narratives are developed in interac-tion with each other. In the case of victimisainterac-tion, the connecinterac-tion between the individual narrative and community narrative is undermined. It affects the continuity of one’s life story with that of others (Pemberton et al., 2018).

As stated above, the impact on a community level is of great value, as effective crisis management relies on a community’s social network. These networks connect and support those affected in a community and link it to the disaster system of care (Pfefferbaum et al., 2017). This study provides insight into the interaction between individual and community narratives, including the community’s response after the Volendam Fire.

These insights can be used in adapting the existing aftercare and contribute to the victim’s and the community’s recovery of the fire. Drawing on insights from narratives is highly valuable. Stories of life (experiences) are hard to capture in certain characteristics, which are often used in questionnaires or other ”researcher driven” methods (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). Narratives may come closer to a correct representation of the context and integrity of the respondent’ life (Anderson & Kirkpatrick, 2016). Within the narrative method, respondents have a key role in communicating their points of view (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). Within the context of this research project, all these different narratives and insights can be used in establishing long-term aftercare of other disasters.

1.4

Academic Relevance

The concept of community narrative has been studied in academics (Mankowski and Rappaport (2000); Rappaport (2000); Stapleton and Wilson (2017)). Also, the concept of victim narrative is a rising research topic in academics (Pemberton et al. (2018); Polletta (2006); Van Dijk (2009)). However, there has been little attention for a disaster’s impact on the level of a community, which consists of and interacts with individuals. As a result, there is no scientific framework that provides with a conceptualization, representation or explanation of the impact on a community. Such frame-work can be used to improve and establish aftercare, keeping the community and individual narratives

in mind. This research’s insights into the interaction between individuals and community (narratives) contribute to this framework.

1.5

Reading guide

This study is divided into several chapters. The next chapter presents a theoretical framework which discusses previous research on the case of the Volendam Fire, outlines the main concepts and ad-dresses the knowledge gap. After this, the third chapter elaborates on this study’s method. The fourth chapter addresses the first research question. It consists of the respondents’ individual narratives and plots. The community narratives and its common themes are discussed in the fifth chapter, thereby an-swering the second research question. Moreover, the interaction between individual and community narratives is considered. Lastly, the sixth chapter provides an overall conclusion of this research, together with a discussion of its limitations and recommendations for future research.

Chapter 2

Body of knowledge

2.1

Introduction

Several studies have been conducted on the case of the Volendam Fire. To begin with, the first research was done by the Research Committee Caf´e Fire New Year’s Eve (Commissie Onderzoek Caf´ebrand Nieuwjaarsnacht, 2001a, 2001b). On behalf of the Dutch government, the committee was primar-ily asked to investigate the functioning of the professional emergency services (fire brigade, police and medical care) and the municipality of Edam-Volendam. It was based on the inspections of the aforementioned emergency services and on the research conducted by the committee itself, such as on the municipality’s functioning. It formulated several conclusions and recommendations. In brief, these recommendations focused on improving permit policies, fire safety policies, disaster prepared-ness and the coordination of emergency services. Recommendations for the municipality, national government and cafe owners were captured in an action plan. Most importantly, the committee con-cluded that the municipality of Edam-Volendam was negligent in terms of permit policy, fire safety policy and disaster preparedness (Commissie Onderzoek Caf´ebrand Nieuwjaarsnacht, 2001a, 2001b).

One year after the fire, the study of Janssen et al. (2002) illustrated the experiences of those affected by the Volendam fire and their surroundings. With this, Janssen et al. (2002) aimed to encourage people to share their feelings which contributes to process the consequences of the disaster. The researchers spoke with victims, their surroundings and other people that were involved (like first responders) on how they experienced that night and the period afterwards. These stories expressed their concerns in terms of health, both physically as mentally. Also, the stories showed that the recovery process was ongoing and sometimes took longer than expected.

Commissioned by the Ministry of Health, Welfare and Sport, the research of Dorn et al. (2003) was executed to report on health problems among victims, their siblings, parents and peers. Their health was monitored by general practitioners and pharmacists of Volendam. This study showed an increase in health problems and the use of health resources after the fire. For example, compared with one year before the fire, there was an increase in various health problems, such as hyperventilation, in-somnia and feelings of depression. These problems occurred the most among youngsters that were at ’t Hemeltje. Moreover, the study found an increase in alcohol consumption among victims and their classmates. The researchers argued that this might be related to the fire, but its correlation was not proven.

Based on their experience with disasters and scientific literature that shows long-term psychological consequences of a disaster, the Health Inspectorate conducted explorative research into the support system for mental health issues. It focused on the question how many victims suffered from these is-sues and which groups of victims could be distinguished. The researchers conducted semi-structured interviews with experts (like general practitioners and psychologists) and closely involved people, such as the board of the SSNV. Their main finding was that psychological problems occurred among victims and their families. These problems included anxiety, depression, concentration problems and aggression among youngsters that experienced the fire (Inspectie van Gezondheidszorg, 2003).

Furthermore, the study of Reijneveld et al. (2004) was done from the perspective that disasters have a strong impact on the mental health of adolescents. However, there is limited knowledge that valid-ates this claim. Therefore, Reijneveld et al. (2004) addressed the medium-term effects on the mental health among students of the affected school, a year after the Volendam Fire. The data was obtained 15 months before and 12 months after the fire by questionnaires. It focused on behavioural and emo-tional problems and substance misuse. The study found excessive use of alcohol among students of the affected school, although the self-report of behavioral and emotional problems decreased among those who experienced the fire and their peers.

In 2005, the study of Welling et al. (2005) provided insight into the medical and organisational re-quirements of an incident with major burn injuries in the Netherlands. It used existing data of the medical care evaluations by involved hospitals and burn centres. In addition, the researchers conduc-ted interviews with involved health care workers. The research described the provided care during that night. This demonstrated a need for strong organisational structures, especially for the coordina-tion of the distribucoordina-tion of patients.

Building on their previous research, Dorn, Ten Veen and IJzermans (2007) focused on the effects of the Volendam Fire on the health of victims, their families and surroundings, commissioned by the Ministry of Health, Welfare and Sport. The research was based on the monitoring by general prac-titioners and pharmacists. In brief, the research showed an increased use of health resources among siblings of victims and parents of deceased adolescents. Among this group, there was a higher pre-valence of mental health issues. Also, it demonstrated various physical long-term consequences for victims with burns.

All in all, these studies provide with important information for this research. Primarily, these studies describe the aftermath and consequences in the first year(s) after the fire. It provides with background information that respondents may refer to and was used in the preparation for the interviews.

The theoretical framework continues with the main concepts of this research, starting with the con-cepts of individual narratives and community narratives. After this, the interaction between individual and community narratives is elaborated, specifically in the context of victimisation (by disasters). The chapter ends with a discussion of the knowledge gap that this study addresses.

2.2

Individual narratives

Individuals tell stories about their personal experiences (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). These stor-ies are captured in a narrative which can be defined as: “the type of discourse composition that draws together diverse events, happenings and actions of human lives into thematically unified goal-directed processes” (Polkinghorne, 1995, p. 5). The thematic thread of a narrative can be seen as the plot of a story. These plots give structure to a narrative. Through this, people describe and understand the relationship between events and choices. When happenings are emplotted or configured into a story, these stories gain a narrative meaning (Polkinghorne, 1995). According to Booker (2004), people make use of seven plots which are: Overcoming the Monster, Rags to Riches, the Quest, Voyage and Return, Comedy, Tragedy and Rebirth. These plots are used for this narrative analysis and elaborated in the third chapter.

Individuals use narratives to establish and maintain personal unity and purpose from experiences dur-ing life (Sdur-inger, 2004). Besides creatdur-ing coherence and meandur-ing to events, narratives provide with ”a sense of continuity”, both of history as of the future (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000, p. 481). So,

narratives are sources of thoughtful and worthwhile knowledge, as these stories uniquely illustrate human experience. This consists of actions and happenings that contribute, positively and/or negat-ively, to the achievement of goals and fulfilment of purposes (Polkinghorne, 1995).

There is a common thought in personality psychology literature that argues that identity is expressed in the form of a coherent life story or narrative (McAdams, 2001; Pals, 2006; Singer, 2004; J. Singer & Blagov, 2004). As stated by Fivush (2010, p. 88): “To a large extent, we are the stories we tell about ourselves”. Interpretations of past events are integrated with the present self. This “narrat-ive identity processing” (Pals, 2006, p. 1081) provides structure, meaning and purpose in one’s life (Fivush, 2010; Pals, 2006). It is a psychological resource that helps individuals to understand ex-periences and guide the development of life stories (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). This narrative identity is defined by McAdams (2001, p. 233) as: “a person’s internalized and evolving life story, integrating the reconstructed past and imagined future to provide life with some degree of unity and purpose”. A key factor to well-being, personality functioning and development is the construction, review and living in accordance with this narrative (Pals, 2006).

The narrative construction of identity is based on memories that originate from significant emotional experiences with self-defining meaning. These experiences are unified with comprehensive themes and patterns. Together, this shapes one’s life story. Memories that are in line with the established life story contribute to identity continuity, in contrast to memories that challenge the story. These memories, derived from difficult life experiences, can lead to questioning and alteration of the nar-rative identity. Therefore, these experiences are a unique factor in the construction of narnar-ratives and personality development (Pals, 2006). So, according to Pals (2006) difficult life experiences that are processed into the narrative identity have a key role in the development of personality. Victimisation is an example of a difficult life experience. In case of victimisation, individuals are in search for an explanation of the impactful event, such as a disaster. This explanation is captured in the individual narrative (Crossley, 2000). Paragraph 2.4.2 elaborates on the effects of victimisation on narratives.

In relation to these life stories, McAdams, Hoffman, Day and Mansfield (1996) identify two general content dimensions: agency and communion. These dimensions have a key role in narratives. It shows how a person expresses their personal past. To begin with, the dimension of agency is defined as the ”existence of the organism as an individual” (Bakan, 1966, p. 15). McAdams et al. (1996) describe four agency-related themes. First, in self-mastery an individual aims to successfully master, control or improve the self. Second, the theme of status applies to individuals that strive for a ”heightened

status, position or prestige” (McAdams et al., 1996, p. 347). Third, through achievement/responsibil-itythe individual focuses on being successful, meeting challenges and moving forward in life. Fourth, empowermentis expressed when the individual is enhanced by a larger source of power outside the self, like God, but also by others who are stronger.

In contrast to this, the dimension of communion is defined as ”the participation of the individual in some larger organism of which the individual is part” (Bakan, 1966, p. 15). The themes of commu-nion concern interpersonal connections, such as friendships. In other words, where agency focuses on getting ahead, communion is about getting along (Hogan, Jones & Cheek, 1985, p.178). Four communion-related themes are defined by McAdams et al. (1996). First, the theme of love/friend-ships is about forms of positive personal sentiment. Second, individuals share their inner self with others through dialogues. Third, the theme of care/help encompasses how an individual provides or receives care which enhances the well-being of another. Fourth, the theme of community is about be-ing part of a community and experiencbe-ing a sense of togetherness with a group of people. This theme is based on the human need for relatedness and rootedness. Individuals have the need to belong to a society and a network of solid social relationships and cultural institutions.

2.3

Community narratives

Besides the individual level, narratives also occur at a community level (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). First of all, what is a community? According to (Ungar, 2011, p. 1742), a community is: “any group of individuals that share common interests, identify with one another, have a common culture, and participate in shared activities”. This characteristic of sharing is underlined in the definition of Pfefferbaum et al. (2007) which states that a community consists of individuals that share ancestry, history, geographic proximity, culture, values and laws.

In line with this definition, Norris, Stevens, Pfefferbaum, Wyche and Pfefferbaum (2008) argue that communities often occur within geographic boundaries and consists of naturally, socially and eco-nomically built environments. These boundaries are important, since they separate the community from others (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). Within a community, members are affected by similar social, economic and physical risk factors. There are structures, organizations and a sense of related-ness through which norms and values are shared among the community. This interaction between individuals is fundamental to a community, as these values and norms cannot be shared without it. However, there might be diversity among individuals and groups to some extent (Pfefferbaum et al.,

2007).

As discussed in paragraph 2.2, a narrative captures stories of personal experiences, which is useful to establish personal unity and purpose through life (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000; Polkinghorne, 1995; Singer, 2004). One’s narrative may match with other narratives of personal experience. To-gether, these narratives compose a community narrative which represents a collective experience (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). To put it briefly, Rappaport (2000, p. 4) defines a community narrative as: ”a story common among a group of people”.

Through community narratives, members disclose the community’s character, expected behaviour (communicated both explicitly and implicitly) and its history. The history often includes informa-tion on the origin of the community, its developments over time and how this resulted in the way the community is today (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). As stated by Rappaport (2000): ”A com-munity cannot be a comcom-munity without a shared narrative”. It is shared through social interaction, performances, rituals, texts and pictures (Rappaport, 2000). A community narrative often includes a description of commonly experienced events, which is central to their collective identity and cohesion among community members (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000; Rappaport, 2000).

An example of a commonly experienced events is a disaster. Pfefferbaum et al. (2007) speaks off a ’community disaster’ which overwhelms the community’s resources and often requires assistance from outside the community to establish an adequate response. On its effects, the article argues that community disasters often cause a (temporal) change in the relationship between individuals. Moreover, it can lead to change in social roles, behavioural rules, social organization and the use and allocation of resources. It can threaten the functioning of a community on a physical, emotional and communal level (Pfefferbaum et al., 2007) Depending on the community’s characteristics, its members and the disaster itself, social support after a disaster can be deployed or may even decline (Jerusalem, Kaniasty, Lehman, Ritter & Turnbull, 1995).

Especially in the case of a community disaster, but also in daily life, community narratives are sources of meaning making (Rappaport, 2000; Stapleton & Wilson, 2017), which is defined by Kloos (1999, p. 5) as: ”a range of activities and constructs that are used to describe how individuals understand their experiences, themselves, and their relation to the world (e.g., identity, self-definitions, possible selves, personal stories and narrative understandings of life experiences)”. Narratives shape how individuals understand themselves, their life stories and the expected future (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000;

Rappaport, 2000).

2.4

Narratives: interaction and victimisation

2.4.1

Interaction between individual and community narratives

The development of one’s narrative is an interpersonal process. One’s story is based on the interaction with others (Pemberton et al., 2018). Individual narratives and community narratives are inseparable in context. Hence, there is no clear-cut distinction between individual narratives and community nar-ratives (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). So, according to Mankowski and Rappaport (2000), the focus of narrative studies should not be on describing only individuals or groups, but on processes where individuals and their communities are seen as a transactional unit.

The social exchange of narratives can be seen as a way to develop identity, as discussed in the pre-vious paragraph, but also as a mean of socialization and constitution of a community (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). The construction of one’s narrative is based on meta-narratives which are given by society (i.e. community narratives). It provides with direction and meaning in one’s life. For individuals, these community narratives are resources that can both empower as impede (Rappaport, 2000). The continuity of one’s life story with other stories is of great importance. This reaffirms the interpersonal character of narrative construction (Pemberton et al., 2018).

In the case of victimisation, the individual narrative is disrupted. This affects the continuity of the individual narrative with those of others. As so, there is a disconnection between the individual and community narrative, which has a negative impact on the victim (Pemberton et al., 2018). The next paragraph elaborates on this.

2.4.2

Victimisation and narratives

Individuals who have been victimized are often looking for an explanation of the impactful event, such as a disaster (Crossley, 2000). This explanation can be captured in a story. This narrative creates structure and meaning in one’s life (Fivush, 2010). Victimisation disrupts the life story of victims. It affects the sense of consistency, continuity and predictability of the future (Pemberton et al., 2018).

Moreover, it disturbs the coherence with narratives of their surroundings. The interpersonal process of narrative construction implies great importance for not only the continuity of one’s life story, but

also its continuity with those of others. Victimisation undermines the connection between the indi-vidual narrative of a victim (‘victim narrative’) and the narrative of the victim’s social environment, whether immediate or more distant (Pemberton et al., 2018). It leads to a disconnection among these narratives. As a result, the victim can experience feelings of doubt, uncertainty and shame with regard to his or her story. Also, a victim’s narrative might contrast other narratives of the same occurrence, which can cause the victim to experience distress when confronted with opposing narratives (Pem-berton et al., 2018; Van Dijk, 2009).

This is underlined by Polletta (2006). To give meaning and make sense of their situation, victims make use of ‘meta-narratives’. However, these meta-narratives puts pressure on victims whose story differs from the stereotype (Polletta, 2006). It contrasts with the personal process to conciliate with the meaning of victimisation. Rather, the strength of a victim’s narrative derives from its uniqueness, authenticity and special account of their experience, not from its similarities to a generic stereotype (Pemberton et al., 2018). This research focuses on the community narrative as meta-narrative.

Furthermore, Van Dijk (2009) discusses the difficulties that victims face when they do not behave in accordance with the perception of an ‘ideal victim’. This so-called victim label assigns victims with a role of passivity and forgiveness and provides with compassion. Although these reactions aim to reduce distress, these responses might neglect the needs and wishes of victims. In terms of narrative, these reactions put pressure on a victim’s narrative. This sympathy urges the victim to take up a supporting role in the observer’s narrative that attempts to reduce the distress (Pemberton et al., 2018). Also, victims who aim to have a more active position and/or do not want to be defined (only) as victim often face negative reactions (Van Dijk, 2009). In line with Polletta (2006), the study of Van Dijk (2009) shows the interaction between the community narratives and individual narratives. For this research, respondents are both victims of the Volendam Fire and community members involved in its aftermath. It could be the case that those involved in the aftermath might characterize victims in a particular way (the victim label). Victims might discuss how they disagree or were confronted with this label.

2.5

Knowledge gap

As discussed in the first chapter, there is little attention for the long-term impact of a disaster on a community level that consists of interacting individuals. No research has been done on the long-term impact of the Volendam Fire, both on an individual, community and narrative level. As a result,

there is no scientific model that provides a conceptualization, representation and/or explanation of the impact of a disaster on a community level. Also, there is little insight into how aftercare can be established, keeping the individual and community narrative in mind.

Since individuals and their communities are in constant interaction, the development of a narrative is an interpersonal process (Pemberton et al., 2018). Narratives are sources that contain highly valuable knowledge, as these stories uniquely describe human experience (Polkinghorne, 1995). Also, within a narrative method, the respondent has a key role in constructing their story (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). In order to determine the long-term impact of the Volendam Fire, insight into the interaction between individual and community narratives is needed. This research conducted narrative interviews with victims of the Volendam Fire, relatives of victims and closely involved volunteers, but also a journalist and the former headmaster of the school. The next chapter elaborates on the method of this study.

Chapter 3

Methodology

This chapter describes the research method that is used within this qualitative case study. It starts with discussing what a narrative inquiry is and how it is used in this study, followed up by a description of the conducted interviews and its participants.

3.1

Narrative inquiry

To gain knowledge of the individual and community narratives, this research makes use of a narrative inquiry which compares and contrasts written texts on their content, internal structure and psycholo-gical functions. The importance of a theme does not depend on the frequency of a certain keyword or phrase, but on the emotional significance or centrality to meaning or identity (Mankowski & Rap-paport, 2000). Polkinghorne (1995) speaks off narrative inquiry as a subset of qualitative research designs. The subject matter of a narrative (inquiry) is human action which are captured in stories. These stories evolve around human attempts to unravel, find a solution or clarify a situation (Polking-horne, 1995).

To begin with, there are multiple sources of storied narratives, such as written documents and oral statements. In narrative inquiry, interviews are mainly used to gather storied narratives. The main question for a narrative interview is: ”How did something happen?” (Polkinghorne, 1995). Telling stories is an ordinary way for people to make sense of and communicate happenings in life. These stories are transcribed to written texts which are used for analysis (Van Maanen, 1988). The narrative method has advantages over more “researcher driven” techniques to collect data, such as question-naires. As stated in the first chapter, stories of human experience are difficult to grasp in certain characteristics. Respondents have a key role in constructing and communicating their view. This

view is a more valid representation of the respondents’ experience. It provides with subjective mean-ing of the respondents’ behaviour (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000).

Focusing on the data analysis, Polkinghorne (1995) defines two kinds of narrative inquiry. This struc-ture is used for this research. To start with, a narrative analysis moves from common elements to stories. It focuses on themes across these stories. By using a plot, descriptions of events and happen-ings are collected and configured into a story. The thematic thread of a narrative can be seen as the plot of a story. These plots give structure to a narrative. Through this, people describe and understand the relationship between events and choices. When happenings are emplotted or configured into a story, these stories gain a narrative meaning. Therefore, it is a special type of discourse production (Polkinghorne, 1995).

According to Booker (2004) there are seven plots: Overcoming the Monster, Rags to Riches, Quest, Voyage and Return, Comedy, Tragedy and Rebirth. Respondents may use these plots in their stories. This provides insight in how the event occurs in their (life) stories. This type of analysis is used to answer the first research question. First, all these plots include some form of victimisation, besides Comedy. Therefore, it is not likely that this plot will occur in this research’s narratives. In this plot, the light and humorous character has to overcome adverse circumstances that result in a happy ending. An example of this plot is Bridget Jones’s Diary. Second, the plot Overcoming the Monster focuses on the protagonist defeat of evil, like in the movies of James Bond. Third, in Rags to Riches the protagonist is poor and acquires power and health, which he loses and regains. This plot is used in the fairytale of Cinderella. Fourth, during the Quest the protagonist is in search of an important object or location. During this search, the protagonist is confronted with obstacles and temptations, such as in The Lord of the Rings. Fifth, in the plot of Voyage and Return the protagonist travels to a strange land. Along the way, he has to overcome obstacles and learns important lessons. Eventually, the protagonist returns home with experience, like Simba in The Lion King. Sixth, the plot Tragedy revolves around the tragic and long suffering of the protagonist. Widely-known tragedies were written by William Shakespeare, like Romeo & Juliet and Macbeth. Seventh, in the plot Rebirth the protagonist is forced by an event to change his ways. Often, he or she becomes a better individual (Booker, 2004), such as the beast in Beauty and The Beast. The results of this narrative analysis are discussed in the fourth chapter. It includes the respondents’ narratives and the role of the Volendam Fire in their narratives.

Moreover, an analysis of narrative collects stories as data and analyses these stories paradigmatic processes, moving from stories to common elements. This type of narrative inquiry aims to find

common themes or manifestations across the collected stories. It does not only focus on discovering and describing common categories, but also on the relationships among them. In this study, this method addresses the second research question (Polkinghorne, 1995). The results can be found in the fifth chapter which consists of the respondents’ narratives on the community and the common themes among them. This chapter concludes with a discussion of the interaction between individual and community narratives.

3.2

Interviews

As discussed before, narrative interviews revolve around the respondents’ story and point of view. The respondent has a key role in directing the interview (Mankowski & Rappaport, 2000). Therefore, the structure is not precisely set out by the interviewer. The interviews of this research were divided in four sections, similar to Anderson and Kirkpatrick (2016). To begin with, multiple interviews were conducted together with fellow-student Sander, as our target group was rather similar. By cooperat-ing, we were able to conduct and transcribe more interviews.

First, the interview started with an introduction. Prior to the interviews, we prepared the introduction and a general interview structure (Appendix A). The introduction briefly described the research aim and the interview process, including the consent for recording the interview and sharing the data with our fellow-students and supervisors. Moreover, we emphasized that their story of the Volendam Fire was central to the interview and that there were no wrong or right answers. Beforehand, the respond-ents were informed that the interviews would take around one and a half our, but they could use all the time they need. We tried our best to make the respondents as comfortable as possible from the moment we arrived at the interview’s location or online environment. In line with this, we asked the respondents if there were any questions before starting the interview.

Second, the narrative phase opened with the question: ”Can you tell something about yourself?”. With this, the respondents introduced themselves. For example, they often discussed whether they were born and raised in Volendam. Often, the respondents continued to speak of the Volendam Fire. If this was not the case, we would ask a second open-ended question: ”Can you tell about your ex-perience of the Volendam Fire?”. Overall, respondents were very open to tell about their exex-perience. As so, little guidance was needed in this phase. As described by Anderson and Kirkpatrick (2016), we encouraged the respondents by using non-verbal communication, like smiles and saying ”hmm-hmm”. We avoided to interrupt the respondents and gave them space to be silent, after which they

often continued with their story.

Third, after clear signs that the respondents had finished their stories, we continued with the question-ing phase. Based on mental notes of the previous phase, we asked for more details or answer to fill in gaps. As the role of the respondent in constructing their story is key, these questions were open-ended as well, such as: ”Can you tell us more about...?”. When not discussed yet, we asked about their views on the upcoming memorial and the future of Volendam.

Fourth, before the conclusion, we asked the respondents whether there was anything they wanted to discuss. In some cases, new topics were addressed or pointed out by the respondent. After this, we concluded the interview by describing the research process. For example, we asked whether the respondents would like to receive and check the transcript. We emphasized that they could always contact us for questions. Lastly, we thanked the respondents and, in the case of an offline interview, gave them a box of chocolate as a token of appreciation.

3.3

Participants

As discussed in the introduction, this study is part of the research project on the Volendam Fire. By the researchers, there was close contact with the municipality of Volendam. The researchers are involved in the working group for the upcoming memorial. Through them, Sander and I were introduced to the first respondents. Also, some respondents asked other community members to participate and provided us with contact details. Due to the COVID-19 situation, we could only conduct interviews with respondents that felt comfortable to share their story with us in an online environment. During that period, we interviewed a total of five respondents by using Skype or FaceTime.

Later, an active call for participants was organized on behalf of the research project, aiming to estab-lish awareness. It focused on spreading the word about this research and encourage people to contact the researchers for their participation. In collaboration with the municipality of Edam-Volendam, this call was shared in multiple ways. To begin with, a website dedicated to the Volendam Fire was launched. Among others sources of information, a section focuses on the research project. It describes the aim and how people could get in touch with the researchers (Gemeente Edam-Volendam, 2020). Moreover, the research was promoted in the local newspaper (Nieuw Volendam, 2020) and on local television (Lokale Omroep Volendam-Edam, 2020). By the researchers and the students involved in this research project, input for a joint video was gathered and designed by fellow student Maike. The

researchers described the overall aim of this project and introduced the students who briefly explained their research scopes. At the end, the video provided with contact details for potential participants. The video was used on the aforementioned website and in the television program. Also, it was suitable to be shared through WhatsApp. Shortly after, five respondents signed up to participate. Immediately, Sander and I contacted these respondents for an appointment. In the next weeks, more respondents followed. In order to speak to these respondents relatively quickly, interviews were divided between us. In general, the online interviews and two offline interviews were conducted together. In total, we interviewed fourteen respondents. The selection of these respondents was based on the following four criteria:

1. Respondents lived in Volendam at the time of the Volendam Fire1;

2. Respondents were present at ’t Hemeltje and have been directly victimized and, or

3. Respondents were present nearby ’t Hemeltje and have been indirectly victimized by this and, or

3. Respondents were indirectly victimized by the loss or suffering of a relative and, or

4. Respondents were closely involved in the aftermath in their (volunteer) work.

In other words, the scope of this research does not only focus on those who have been directly victim-ized by the Volendam Fire (direct victims), but as well on those who have been indirectly victimvictim-ized by the loss or suffering of a relative (indirect victims). Indirect victims also include respondents that were present nearby ’t Hemeltje and have been victimized by this experience. For example, Ellen was not in the caf´e, but experienced psychological consequences of what she saw at the dyke. In addition, this research includes respondents that were closely involved in the aftermath of the Vol-endam Fire through their (volunteer) work. As discussed in the previous chapter, the development of individual (victim) narratives is based on interaction with community narratives (Pemberton et al., 2018). Therefore, this research includes respondents that were closely involved (and often still are) in the community of Volendam and the aftermath of the fire. An overview of the respondents can be found below. To protect the respondents’ privacy, fictitious names were used.

1_{Leendert and Brian are exceptions to this criterion. First, Leendert did not live in Volendam, but was closely involved} as headmaster of the high school in Volendam. Because of this, he is familiar with the community of Volendam. Second, Brian moved away from Volendam in 2000, but came back shortly after the fire.

Table 3.1: Overview of respondents

Relation to victim Relation to community Narrative summary (§)

Lucas Victim - Volunteer 4.1.1

Brian Victim - Volunteer 4.1.2

Ellen Victim - Employee of municipality 4.1.3

Merel Victim + relative Sister of victim - 4.1.4

Lisette Relative Sister of victim - 4.1.5

Linda Relative Parent of victim Volunteer 4.1.6 Bart Relative Parent of victim First aider 4.1.7 Willem Relative Parent of victim Volunteer 4.1.8 Pieter Relative Parent of victim Volunteer 4.1.9

Fred - - Volunteer 4.1.10

Arnold - - Volunteer 4.1.11

Marcel - - Volunteer 4.1.12

Alex - - Journalist 4.1.13

Chapter 4

Results of narrative analysis

This chapter consists of the respondents’ narratives. It describes how they experienced the Volendam Fire and its aftermath. The last section of this chapters highlights the role of the Volendam Fire in their narratives. For this, the plots by Booker (2004) are used.

4.1

Summary of narratives

4.1.1

Narrative of Lucas

Lucas is born and raised in Volendam. In 2000, he was a student at Don Bosco College in Volendam. During New Year’s Eve, he was staying in the caf´e below ‘t Hemeltje with his friends. At twelve o’clock, he went outside to watch the fireworks, but came back soon as it was too cold to be outside without a jacket. So, he went back to the caf´es at the dyke and went to ‘t Hemeltje to wish people a happy new year, especially the girls: “All the girls were upstairs in ‘t Hemeltje. The boys sat down-stairs to have a drink and get some courage”.

The caf´e was overcrowded, so he decided to leave and walked towards the exit. At that moment, the fire started. The only thing that he remembers is that people stumbled over each other. He regained consciousness standing outside on the roof of another caf´e, not knowing how he got there. He went to the fire trucks that sprayed water on people coming out of the caf´e. Eventually, his parents found him on the dyke. On an ambulance stretcher, he was brought to the first aid tents, where he was given an injection to put him in a coma. Three weeks later, he awakened in the hospital, weakened and not able to walk. He was burned on his left hand and in his face. During that night of the fire, his clothes were of good quality which largely protected his body. He remembered what happened that night and had nightmares of the fire during his coma. Later on, he got an infection which led to a

life-threatening situation, but he recovered from this. Besides the physical consequences of the fire, he decide to move forward, continuing with his daily life and went back to school. In retrospect, he states that: “I decided pretty quickly for myself to live like a normal sixteen-year old boy, although that was not the case of course. You just went through an experience, realizing that you are mortal and when you are sixteen, you think you are immortal. Anyway, I did not want to be a victim”. The fire had a heavy impact on his parents as well, but as they had experienced other traumatizing events, Lucas did not want to bother them.

He continued with his life, until he got physical complaints in 2017. At first, he was convinced that there was something physically wrong. He thought he processed the fire, as he did not suffer from nightmares or other symptoms. Lucas appeared to have an unconscious anxiety for hospitals, doctors and becoming ill. His treatment in regular mental health care did not work and his situation got worse: “It was just a desperate, very desperate situation. I was very close to..., or I would have not been here anymore”. Through his father, he got in touch with a spiritual psychologist who treated him. Besides this, joining the memorial working group, speaking with other victims and participating in this research is part of his recovery process. Now, he is happy with the things he is working on and feels good: “Apparently, it was necessary to sink so deep, so deep in order to come back stronger. This does not mean that I would rather not have experienced it. But well, that is how it turned out to be. Not smart, but I was not 100% aware that it had anything to do with the trauma either”.

Lastly, Lucas finds it hard to establish lessons for the future based on his own story: “Should you push more? Only if you shut yourself off completely, things can go wrong. Or should you let people make their own choices? Anyway, that is a complicated story”. Furthermore, he stresses that every individual case is unique and interacts with the community, he states that: “There is no blueprint for how you should do it”. For the future, he sees the fire as a part of Volendam’s story and hopes for an educative role: “I hope it shows that if you experience a fire or something else that traumatizes, that you should not hide it because you think that others do not want to hear it or do not want someone else to worry. (...) Maybe we can share that lesson, so it will be preserved for the future. The future will tell”.

4.1.2

Narrative of Brian

Brian grew up as a kid in Volendam. In 2000, he moved away for his military education. As it was the first time being away from his home town, he experienced homesickness from time to time and

he was confronted with a variety of youngsters, with different backgrounds and problems. For New Year’s Eve, he came back to Volendam. Together with some friends, he stayed at a caf´e on the dyke. About ten minutes before midnight, he got a message from his cousin, who was at ‘t Hemeltje. Once Brian got there, it was too crowded to find his cousin. Then, he saw something that looked like a fireball. Thinking back, he specifically recalls how people stumbled over each other and the anger that arose in him “That was my first reaction, I thought: Goddamn, who is doing this?”. He ended up underneath a number of people, which he sees as a blessing in disguise, since he was not burned by the fire.

“And then, it actually got really peaceful, because at first you heard everyone panicking, crying and screaming. And then, it became very quiet. (...) Then I actually felt everyone, including myself, go out like a candle and thought: This is the end”. Brian awakened after a window was smashed. He was rather calm and acted out of reason, helping other people to leave the caf´e: “Well, and then you just see people who are completely burned or who do not move. Of course, that was a terrible experience”. Outside the caf´e, he became very emotional: “And then I freaked out, I just did not have it in control anymore. (. . . ) I heard that someone did it on purpose and I thought: Well, I am going to kill that person. It was intense anger and sadness”. Brian was brought to the hospital for a check-up. For two days, he stayed with his parents in Volendam, where he got the message that one of his friends passed away. “And then there was this situation in Volendam, that every hour or two hours, you heard: another one has died or there is another one which condition is worsened (...) And then you heard, afterwards: Oh, he has not died. (. . . ) That turned out not be true, so gossip, or now we would say: fake news. That was very intense”.

After two days, Brian decided to leave Volendam and go back to the military base: “I was fine. I did have some lung complaints, some bruises, but I also had bruises during exercises. So, in that sense that was not a good step to take, but it seemed the best step at that moment”. When he got there, he did not tell about his involvement in the fire, he wanted to go back to his daily life. While participating in an exercise, Brian got a long infection. During his recovery, he was allowed to go home. In Volen-dam, the number of deceased victims continued to rise, which was though for Brian. Eventually, he decided to stop with his military education. Brian tried to flee from his misery by using alcohol and drugs. He became depressive and had feelings of guilt. Thinking back on this period, he realizes that his situation had a strong impact on his family. When he started to think about committing suicide, he spoke with his father. The next day, he got a doctor’s referral for psychological treatment.

During group therapy, Brian was confronted with people who dealt with issues like sexual abuse and violence: “In that phase I just thought: What am I doing here? I only had an accident, lost some friends and I don’t feel well, but next to me sits someone who has been systemically abused for eight-een years (. . . ), so then I actually went back to downplaying my own problems”. In the first year of his therapy, he did not want to participate as he felt out of place. Eventually, he decided to take part in the therapy: “If I am here anyway, because I did not receive any conformation that I was good enough to return to society, then for heaven’s sake, let me participate”. Through his therapy, he realized that his problem was allowed to be there, just like the problems of others. After that, his recovery went fast. He started a new education, met his girlfriend and got a baby:

“I actually talk in a kind of Brian 1.0 and a Brian 2.0: before the fire and after the fire. Before the fire, I was insecure. Very competitive, if I lost, I could cry, maybe even childish. And after the fire, I really had the feeling that my childhood was over (. . . ). I was immediately an adult and that has shaped me strongly. Military training has also shaped me. Those are two life-changing moments for me”.

Some years ago, he thought daily about the next of kin of deceased victims and had sleeping problems. Through therapy, he symbolically said goodbye to these thoughts. For a long time, Brian asked himself if he was completely recovered. Eventually, he realized: “Why should I be so fixated on that? I feel good. (. . . ) And that might be the answer to that question”. Both the fire and his military training have contributed positively to his life and career, therefore Brian argues: “With the knowledge I have now, it has improved me for 90% and 10% that thinks that it’s unfortunate that it happened. (. . . ) Yes, the event is very bad, that is unfortunate. But yes, it has given me only positive things”. One of these things, is the drive that Brian has in his career and education, but not at all costs, as Brian 1.0 would have done.

4.1.3

Narrative of Ellen

As a teenager, Ellen moved with her parents to Volendam. She is familiar with the customs and tradi-tions, but as her parents are not originally from Volendam, she was not closely involved in them and does not speak the dialect. As a result, Ellen had a different upbringing: “What I notice about Volen-dammers1is that they often support the group and want to belong somewhere. I have been stubborn in that: always choosing my own path”. After finishing school, she moved to Amsterdam and lived abroad. Now, she lives in Volendam and works for the municipality of Edam-Volendam.

Before the fire, Ellen celebrated Christmas in ‘t Hemeltje, with the same decorations and circum-stances. During New Year’s Eve, Ellen and her friends reserved a table at ‘t Hemeltje, but: “Some-thing, I do not know exactly what, but I really felt the need not to go right away, but to hang out at home, as my mother and her boyfriend were at the dyke”. Eventually, her friends already went before midnight and Ellen stayed at home with a colleague. She thought it was a bit boring and proposed to go to ‘t Hemeltje, but her colleague wanted to wait for her boyfriend. After midnight, they arrived at the dyke, where the fire just happened. Although Ellen can not exactly recall this experience, she remembers the chaos: “It looked a bit like a horror movie”. She saw people that did not survive the fire: “Those are images that I will never forget”. At some point, Ellen realized that her mother is at the dyke and might think that Ellen was involved in the fire. When Ellen met her, her mother decided that it was time for them to leave.

For Ellen, the days after the fire felt unreal, like a blur. She felt lucky, but also had feelings of guilt: “The feeling that some people were so badly affected: give me something too. Why have I been so lucky?”. In this period, she felt left out, as she was talked into a dividing line: “You should not whine, you have been very lucky. (. . . ) You are not a victim, nothing to worry about. You were very lucky that nothing happened. (. . . )”. The fact that she was not born and raised in Volendam amplified this feeling. Besides a short session with a psychologist at school for her nightmares, she did not receive any help: “I am not someone who naturally seeks help quickly. I usually solve problems by myself, I can put things into perspective, So I thought I could handle it very well at that time”. This was strengthened by a tendency within the community: “There was a general tendency that you were not meant to. . . , you should not be weak, because you had nothing”. Ellen states that all the attention went to victims staying in hospitals.

Later in her life, the fire still had an impact: “It did affect my life. Because from then on I realized that life could end just like that. (. . . ) So you are going to make choices in a different way, I think. I also think that it was my reason to travel. (. . . ) Eventually, I chose a completely different study, I do not know if that has to do with it”. During her time away from Volendam, the memories of the fire stayed with her. Also, she was more alert on safety measures in nightlife venues. For her surroundings, the fire had a heavy impact as well, such as her stepfather who provided assistance that night.

Coming back from her experience abroad, Ellen started working at the municipality of Edam-Volendam. When she heard that nothing has been done with ‘t Hemeltje, she thought: “Something has to happen.

Again from my feeling that we have to do something, maybe some guilt”, referring to the feelings of guilty she had shortly after the fire. Ellen became the project manager of the renovation and talked with several interest groups: “I found that very difficult, because they did not know that I. . . , they thought: Oh, we do not know her last name. They did not know that I lived in Volendam at that time. Also parents of deceased victims came, from which I knew their deceased daughter”. The confronta-tion with the building was difficult for her too: “I had never been back myself, but suddenly I had to be there, which I had not prepared for at all. (. . . ) But I also liked it (working on the project), I do have the feeling that I could really contribute to something”.

After ten years, Ellen was hit by the memories of the fire during an exhibition by victims: “I visited that exhibition and very weird, but at that moment it hit me so hard, I was so upset about it”. She talked about it with her family and tried to find a way to deal with it. To the question if she succeeded in finding this, she answers: “I do not know. I am still involved in the project (. . . ). I have doubted whether I should continue (. . . ). I noticed that it bothered me when we had to go there again. So, I do not know if it is completely resolved”. Now, Ellen still works for this project and the memorial working group, but is less directly involved.

4.1.4

Narrative of Merel

Merel was born and raised in Volendam, as the youngest of her family. In 2000, she worked for a local company and weekly visited ‘t Hemeltje with her group of friends. During New Year’s Eve, Merel stayed with her friends in a caf´e at the dyke. After twelve o’clock, they went to ‘t Hemeltje to wish people a happy new year. She looked for her brother, but it was too crowded to find him. Then, she saw her brother playing around with sparklers and the fire started. So, Merel decided to walk towards the exit and saw that her brother’s jacket is on fire. All of a sudden, she heard a bang and it became quiet and dark. Then, she heard somebody trying to smash a window. Because of the oxygen, people started to wake up and move. When the fire brigade came in, Merel tried to find her brother, but she was told to leave the caf´e. Via the roof of another caf´e, Merel found her way out: “I walked around on the dyke, actually not knowing where to go at that moment and it was quite cold. (. . . ) In retrospect, at one point I did get someone’s cell phone in my hands, but I just did not know how to call anymore”. Eventually, her uncle came to pick her up, together with her cousin who was also in the caf´e. At home, she asked her mother if she knew where her brother was: “I thought it was better not to tell her that I thought he was dead”.