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Being Bicultural:
An Exploratory Study of Bicultural Adolescents’ Experiences with
Culture, Religion, Sexuality, and Sexual Health Education
Cassandra de Paula Silva 11007281
Sociology – Gender and Sexuality
Dr. Gert Hekma (1st) & Dr. Linda van de Kamp (2nd) August 18, 2016
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Abstract
The Netherlands has an international reputation for its secular and liberal stance on sexuality and gender, but is that really the case? With so many intertwining cultures and religions, what kind of role do these play in the attitudes of bicultural adolescents and their experiences with sexuality and sexual health education? This research study sought to explore the various roles that religion and culture play in terms of familial involvement, gender and sexuality norms, sexuality, and sexual health education. Results showed that maternal involvement is a reliable indicator of bicultural adolescent’s own cultural and religious attitudes and practices, including shame, masturbation, porn, sexual orientation and gender identity, however, Dutch being the dominant culture played an even greater role. Additionally, the Dutch sexual health program may be sufficient, but it has room for improvement through incorporating more liberal policies concerning casual sex, gender identities, sexual orientation, and slut-shaming.
Keywords: culture, bicultural, adolescents, religion, shame, sexuality, gender, sexual health, education,
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Acknowledgements
First and foremost, I wish to express my deepest gratitude to the fourteen brave young men and women who agreed to divulge intimate details of their lives with me. I thoroughly enjoyed each
interview and learned many important aspects of modern adolescent life thanks to the youth who volunteered to share their life stories concerning religion, culture, and sexuality – all very personal topics. Without them and their willingness to participate, this research study could not have been done. Additionally, I want to thank the Jan Arentsz School in Alkmaar for being so encouraging and welcoming me so hospitably.
Secondly, this study would have remained only an idea had it not been for the continued support, encouragement, expert guidance, and understanding from my supervisor Dr. Gert Hekma. Without his saint-like patience, this study would have never come to fruition. In addition, I would like to extend my gratitude to Dr. Linda van de Kamp who served as second supervisor. Their thoughtful questions, comments, and critiques were deeply valued.
To the friends I made along the way at the University of Amsterdam, thank you for keeping me sane throughout this entire ordeal. I don’t think I would have been able to do this if it weren’t for your continued enthusiastic encouragement. I will never forget it and will forever remain in your debt, and “I’m pretty sure that’s history.”
I would have forgotten how to smile if it were not for my dear and cherished partner, Lukas. Thank you for making me go outside to breathe fresh air and feel the sun on my skin. You kept me as human as you could, and if it weren’t for your late-night dinners, I surely would have gone hungry.
To my family – you’ve been there every step of the way. To my Daddy, for always pushing me to do more and go further. You inspired me to reach for the stars and always said I could do anything I put my mind to. You instilled a deep love for heritage and culture, which inspired this study. To my Mom, you are incredible. Without your daily help and support, this would never have been possible. You have been my cheerleader, editor, friend, therapist, mentor, and all-around hero. You wear an invisible cape, and this thesis is for you.
Last, but never least, this study is dedicated to my little brother, Alex. For all of the times we skipped Catechism classes to go play outside, and for your own experiences with culture and religion. I miss you every day, and this whole last year has felt like a triathlon, but from start to finish I’ve felt you right behind me, pushing me, encouraging me, lending me your confidence, and reminding me that the finish line is just oh-so-close. I love you so much, little one.
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Table of Contents
[Abstract & Acknowledgements]
1. Introduction
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1.1
Research Questions
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2. Theoretical Framework & Literature Review
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2.1
Culture and Religion in the Netherlands
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2.2
Dutch Sexual Health Education
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2.3
Interaction Model of Religion
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2.4
Religion and Reference Group Theory
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3. Methodology
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3.1
Qualitative Research
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3.1.1. Qualitative Research Approach: Semi-structured in-depth individual
interviews
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3.2
Reciprocal Interaction Approach
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3.3
Sample
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3.3.1. Obstacles within Recruitment
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3.3.2. The Eventual Sample
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3.4
Interview Procedure
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3.5
Data Analysis
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3.6
Ethical Dilemmas
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Results
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4. Culture in the Netherlands
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4.1
On Family
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4.2
Identity: Ethnicity, Race, and Passing
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4.3
Cultural Norms on Gender and Sexuality
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5. Religion
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5.1
Congregational Dedication - Prayer not People
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5.2
Family Religion
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5.3
Enforced Rules and Norms on Gender and Sexuality
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6. Gender and Sexuality
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6.1
Sluts and Fuckboys
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6.2
The Role of Parents on Adolescent Sexuality
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6.3
Shame: On Porn and Masturbation
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7. Sexual Health Education
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7.1
The Awkwardness of Being Educated on Matters of the Sexual
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7.2
Roles of Religion and Culture
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7.3
Institutional Sex Ed: Topics Covered (or lack thereof)
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8. Conclusion
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8.1
Limitations and Implications
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Bibliography
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1. Dutch Teens: Culture, Religion, and Sex
The Netherlands is renowned as a global standard for other countries to study and emulate on matters of societal relevance and influence such as sexual education regarding unplanned pregnancy, access to birth control, abortion, and STI rates – even more so when it concerns its youth (Guttmacher Institute 2015). However, the very positive image of enlightened youth and the promotion and existence of a strong sexual education system from an early age that the Netherlands has aspired to and projects to the rest of the world are not as all–encompassing or as glorious as they may seem.
There is another side the world does not see. What the repertoire of news and scholarly articles extolling the success of the Dutch model does not examine or explain, is that the majority of adolescents that do happen to experience sexually-transmitted infections, unplanned or unwanted pregnancies, and abortions, is disproportionately bicultural youth. Research has shown that of the recorded teenage pregnancies, more than half are to teenagers of non-Dutch ancestry (W.J. van Enk, M. Gorrissen, A. van Enk 2000). Further studies acknowledge that the adolescents most at risk of experiencing these life-altering health situations are typically of Surinamese, Antillean, or Ghanaian descent (Alderliesten, Vrijkotte, v.d. Wal, Bonsel 2007; CBS 2013).
Although rates have steadily decreased for girls of Moroccan and Turkish descent, the teen pregnancy trend has remained consistent for Surinamese and Antillean teenage girls over the last two decades (Stuart, v.d. Wal, Schilthuis 2002, CBS 2013). As immigration grows and becomes a greater societal and governmental concern, especially with its impact on social services including health, employment and the social welfare net, Dutch education will need to address the reality of its bicultural youth more specifically, aggressively and with a particular sensitivity to their religious and cultural beliefs while honoring the standards set by Dutch families in educating their own youth. Otherwise, the clash of cultures and religious beliefs could have a detrimental and long-term effect on Dutch culture and society itself.
Due to expansion in the 18th century and the general European history of the Netherlands, Holland has been a veritable “salad bowl” (as opposed to a “melting pot”) of cultures for hundreds of years. With respect to modern history, there have been three major waves of immigration into the Netherlands, beginning after the end of World War II. The first wave began in the 1950s, bringing immigrants from the former Dutch colonies like Indonesia. The second wave in the 1960s and 1970s, originated from Southern Europe, Turkey and Morocco. This was a more culturally and religiously
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diverse group who were primarily less-educated, unskilled male farmers and laborers, many of whom were venturing into the “unknown” Netherlands for economic opportunity for themselves and their families. While the first two waves were in the form of labor migration, the third wave in the 1970s to 1980s brought their families, and political and religious refugees from Eastern Europe and Middle Eastern countries such as Iran and Iraq. These different refugees and immigrants brought their religions that have been ingrained in their cultural, and sometimes national, identities for decades if not
centuries. Bock, et al. stated “Even in a secular society, religion is an important reference group for many people” (1983). While religion itself is not a reference group, it can indeed serve as an important
point of reference for people.
One must only turn on the news to see that Europe is currently experiencing a huge increase in the number of asylum-seeking immigrants not seen since the end of World War II. Oftentimes, some of these people may follow certain cultural and religious practices and traditions that may not be viewed as normative, and at times even barbaric, across Europe (and perhaps the Western world). It is because of this consistent meshing (and occasional clashing) of cultures and religions that I want to explore the experiences of bicultural adolescents who have some particular kind of religious influence in their lives and how they understand, interpret, acknowledge, and deal with sexuality.
Considering the three waves of immigration into the Netherlands that occurred in the latter half of the 20th century and with the recent massive influx of asylum-seekers into Europe, and more
specifically Holland, I think it is critical for all concerned – society, government, the education system and individuals - that conscious measures be taken to ensure that bicultural youth are better schooled, counseled, and given the tools necessary to make informed decisions regarding their bodies and sexual lives as well as respect and understand the unique perspective towards sex and gender held by Dutch society. The research done here shall not only give an in-depth view into the lived experiences of bicultural youth, but, hopefully, shed light on any adverse religious influences on adolescent sexuality and offer suggestions on how to better address, educate and prevent adverse life-changing sexual issues from occurring.
The differences in educational quality and experiences of the incoming migrants and refugees and their religious and gender role beliefs will have a dramatic effect on the Dutch system and society for decades to come. Having long ago adopted a more progressive and secular view regarding
government programs and policy, The Netherlands is finding itself trying to juggle its liberal stance on social issues with the more perceived conservative, religious attitudes of the recent incoming
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populations. Honoring its long-standing traditions of tolerance and individuality regarding gender, sexuality, and religion while trying to understand and respect vastly differing views from the new immigrants will need to be staunchly upheld and adhered to in order to safeguard the tolerant society these progressive ideals have built.
While some studies address the beliefs and practices of Dutch youth on sexuality, there is not much in the name of lived religion or multiculturalism and their influence(s) on sexual attitudes and practices. According to Nancy Ammerman, a sociology researcher at Boston University, sociologists have not spent much time researching the lived religion experienced by millions around the globe. Lived religion is defined as “the embodied and enacted forms of spirituality that occur in everyday life” (Ammerman 2014). The reasons for this can be various but one theory on secularization proposed by Ecklund and Scheitle is that religion would fade into the background of humanity, becoming distant and buried, as generations went on (2007). Of the research that has been done in the last hundred years, most of it has reduced religion down to a survey. It is because of this dearth of data on the personal lived experiences of (bicultural) Dutch youth that the current research topic at hand was chosen.
As previously mentioned, the teenage birth rate in Holland is amongst the lowest in the world. When teenage Dutch girls do get pregnant however, 65 percent choose to terminate the pregnancy. Unplanned teenage pregnancy accounts for 12 percent of all abortions performed in the Netherlands (Youth Policy 2012) and exemplifies a tolerance toward individual agency. This tolerance extends to attitudes regarding individual sexuality. Even after adjusting for racial and ethnic minority status of the participants, Dutch teens still showed more tolerant opinions toward gays and lesbians when compared to their American peers (Collier, Horn, Bos, Sandfort 2014). However, most of the available data is quantitative and therefore does not give voice to the lived experiences of the interviewed participants, especially not those who identify as bicultural Dutch adolescents. Through conducting semi-structured interviews, my goal is that the data gathered will be able to bridge the gap left by previous researchers.
Educating bicultural youth and their elders to the new reality of life in the Netherlands with its open-minded and divergent views on the role of religion, sexuality and women in society will make their transition and integration into Dutch culture more fluid and seamless. Researching bicultural youth, their attitudes and practices regarding sexuality and gender and the influence of religion on those attitudes can only benefit the educational system in creating and providing more specific programs and counsel geared to the long-term assimilation of these young people.
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The following chapters will analyze the current content available concerning culture, religion, and sexuality in the Netherlands, as well as detail the theoretical framework and methodology of this research thesis. The data chapters with examine the various roles of culture and religion in adolescents’ attitudes toward and experiences with sexuality. More specifically, the first data chapter will focus on the various cultural aspects of familial influence and identity and the second focusing on the religious roles of congregational dedication and family; each with a section examining norms on gender and sexuality. The third chapter will focus on gender and sexuality, specifically on the role of parents, and sex-shaming. The final data chapter will examine the various aspects of the national sexual education such as religion and culture, institutional programs, and the awkwardness involved.
1.2 Research Questions
While there have been many studies conducted on Dutch society concerning religion
(Smerecnik et al 2010, Drie et al 2014), culture (W.J. van Enk et al 2000, Stuart et al 2002, Alderliesten et al 2007, Leurs 2012), or sexuality (Rademakers 1992, Schalet 2011, Collier et al 2014, Reitz et al 2015), research examining the intersectional influence of all three concepts, especially in English, is sadly lacking. Furthermore, much of this research was done from a quantitative approach, thus effectively silencing the unique and individual voices of the Dutch youth that were interviewed. For these reasons, this qualitative research study will explore the intersectional influence of culture and religion on the sexual attitudes and practices of bicultural Dutch youth.
The Netherlands is recognized as one of the most diverse and tolerant countries in the world, but with many cultures can come many religions – and vice versa. How do these religions and cultures interact with one another in such a tolerant society? How do religious parents influence their children’s attitudes toward sex? How do bicultural students handle religious influence within a secular education? What kind of conflict, if any exists, do these particular students experience? Do these students identify more with a specific culture or religion and, if so, how does that affect their attitudes towards sex, sexuality, and sexual health education? How does the national demeanor of perceived openness towards sexuality influence the bicultural student? Does it override the ethnic, cultural and religious influences of their parents? And, if so, does it occur to the same degree in first, second or third generation bicultural students or does it change with a generation? Does it cause clashes or discord within the family? How does it affect their attitudes towards their Dutch friends who might have been raised differently? Similarly, how do their friends – Dutch and/or bicultural – influence their attitudes
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toward and practices of sexuality? How has their religious upbringing affected their assimilation into the more open Dutch society? All of these curiosities and questions have led me to form the main research question of this research, being:
How do bicultural Dutch youth experience the roles of religion and culture in their sexual attitudes and practices?
In order to gain a deeper and more specific understanding of the research question, certain deductive themes will be explored: familial religion, peer influence, and community characteristics centering on educational institutions (sexual education). Therefore, several sub questions have been posed. First, there have been many transnational studies that examined the extent of parental influence on the sexual attitudes and behaviors of adolescents. Previous research has shown that parental
communication leads to an increase in sexual knowledge for adolescents (Somers & Paulson 2000). Additionally, several studies examined how parental attitudes can act as predictors of adolescent attitudes toward sex and sexual behaviors (Sneed, 2008, 2013, 2015). The importance of parental communication and involvement brought me to my first sub question:
To what extent does familial religion influence the sexual beliefs and behaviors of bicultural teens? Lastly, the Netherlands’ admired low teen pregnancy and abortion rates (Advocates for Youth,
2011), can be attributed to its lauded comprehensive sexual education as well as its open access to contraception (Schalet, 2011). Since this research study’s primary aim is to examine how bicultural students experience the roles of religion and culture in their sexual attitudes and beliefs, while secondarily focusing on their experiences with sexual education, this has brought me to the final sub question:
How do religion and culture each affect the experiences of bicultural youth when it comes to sexual education?
It is the aim of this research study to examine and interpret the experiences of bicultural Dutch youth. Furthermore, this research will explore the various perspectives that religion and culture offer bicultural Dutch youth in terms of sexual behavior and beliefs, as well as their experiences with sexual education. This study will seek to confirm or reject the aforementioned assumptions previously stated.
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Moreover, it will attempt to pursue resolutions that may be instrumental in addressing any problems or disparities faced by bicultural youth.
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2. Theoretical Framework and Literature Review
2.1. Culture and Religion in the Netherlands
Sociologists have been examining culture for decades and although many authors have
attempted to define culture, for the sake of this study, the explanation defined by George MacDonald in 1991 was used. Culture is argued as an agglomeration of messages that are shared by a given group of people. More specifically, this given group of people share common experiences, insights, principles, and even a consciousness (1991:10). Additionally, ethnicity can be defined “in terms of participants’ beliefs, perceptions, understandings and identifications” (Brubaker et al., 2004).
When one discusses culture and ethnicity in the Netherlands, one cannot exclude the use of the controversial term ‘allochtoon,’ which literally means “emerging from a different soil,” and is officially defined as a person who has “at least one parent who was born outside the Netherlands”1 and, more specifically, aimed at people with non-Western (i.e. Muslim) backgrounds. Transversely, ‘autochtoon’ relates to Native (or ethnic) Dutch. While both terms are officially used in government, there is much controversy surrounding their use, especially colloquial, as they perpetuate a further negative and discriminatory distinction between ‘native’ Dutch and the Dutch-born children of immigrants (Ronald van de Krol, 2007). This can lead to second and third generation youth asking “When do I become Dutch?” This discriminatory distinction was experienced by several interviewees. Both terms are currently under government review because as Sadet Karabulut of the Socialist Party has said “it is about our shared future, not our origins.”2
According to the Central Bureau for Statistics, the current number of Dutch-born people with at least one foreign-born parent is around 22 percent of the population (~17 million)3, an increase of three percent in the last decade.4 Considering both the recent influx of asylum-seekers from war-torn
countries like Syria and Afghanistan, and the stark reality of continuing wars, one can assume that the numbers will continue to increase for the foreseeable future. This was true for the parents of several interviewees who immigrated to the Netherlands as refugees from their respective war-torn homelands.
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focusMIGRATION Country Profile – Netherlands - No. 11, November 2007
2 DutchNews.nl Dutch government re-examines use of the term ‘allochtoon’ for immigrants, March 23, 2016 3
CBS Bevolking; generatie, geslacht, leeftijd en herkomstgroepering, 1 januari, May 30, 2016 4
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As previously noted, bicultural youth with non-Western backgrounds are generally found in more disadvantaged socio-economic positions. Adolescents of Turkish or Moroccan descent are the most disadvantaged groups, especially regarding education (Heath et al, 2008). Surinamese and Antillean students, though having higher rates of unwanted teen pregnancies (Stuart et al 2002, Alderliesten et al 2007) and abortions (Kocken, Dorst, and Schaalma, 2006), are typically better
educated than their Turkish and Moroccan counterparts (Tubergen & van Gaans 2013). This can perhaps be attributed to the stigma that Surinamese, Antillean, Turkish, and Moroccan parents face in talking to their children about sexuality and sex in general (Lamur et al, 1990). Stigma is perpetuated by hegemony and the exercise of social, political, and economic power, while also perpetuating existing social
inequalities (Rankin et al 2005; Campbell & Deacon, 2006; Scambler & Paoli, 2008). This was true for several interviewees with non-Western backgrounds.
Although legal same-sex marriage was pioneered in the Netherlands in 2001, negative attitudes toward sexuality still exist in Dutch society – regardless of ethnicity. Nearly 5 percent of Dutch do not support same-sex marriage, and as of 2012, only 59 percent strongly agreed that LGBT+ people should be free to live as they please, though this number continues to grow (Roeder & Lubber, 2016). One study found that children of non-western, particularly Turkish and Moroccan backgrounds harbor more negative attitudes toward sexual diversity and gender non-conformity than their Western peers (Bos et al. 2012), a probable remnant of the cultural norms in their respective home countries.
The same negative attitudes are perpetuated in government policy, or lack thereof, across Eastern Europe. In the aforementioned study by Roeder and Lubber, results showed that Polish migrants did not originally support same-sex marriage and sexual diversity but evolved over time the longer they lived in the Netherlands, a result of increased social interaction and their intent to settle permanently. However, this was not true for devoutly religious migrants, who assimilated less and retained the conservative attitudes of their homelands. Similar results were found in research done on the Dutch cultural integration of first and second generation Muslims (Maliepaard & Alba, 2016).
Defining religion is a constant source of study within Sociology. One cannot talk about religion without mentioning Durkheim and his influential definition of it, which can be summarized as a uniform system of beliefs and practices relating to sacred things and/or deities (1959). Furthermore, William James defined religion as “the feelings, acts, and experiences of [individuals] in their solitude, so far as they apprehend themselves to stand in relation to whatever they may consider the divine” ([1903] 1985:34). While nearly sixty-eight percent of the Dutch population identify as non-religious (Bernts &
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Berghuijs, 2016), much of the population still identifies with a religion and the history of the Netherlands has a decidedly Christian tint to it (Oosterhuis 1996, De Jong 1998). The majority religious group is Christian at 25 percent (Protestantism at 13 percent with Catholicism with 12 percent)5 with the Muslim population making up 6%.6 Increasingly secular since the 1950s (when 80 percent of Dutch society belonged to a church), both in policy and society, the recent influx of religious migrants, with Christians coming from Africa and South America and Muslims from the Middle East, could impede Dutch
secularism.7 Although religion is becoming a more personal matter – and less institutionalized – the wave of religious migrants into the Netherlands may conflict with this trend, hence the importance of studying how the role of religion interacts with culture and sexuality.
While the majority of Dutch society accepts same-sex marriage, there was still religious
opposition when the law passed by a three-to-one margin in December 2000. The Christian Democratic Party opposed the law, though they were not then part of the governing body. The following April, when the law was officially enacted, the Protestant Church gave autonomy to its congregations on their decisions to support and perform same-sex marriages.8 Both Christian and Muslim groups continue to harbor negative attitudes towards homosexuality and sexual diversity in general (Beekers, 2014) which may be attributed to religious ideologies (Christianity and Islam), which reduce sexual activity to procreation and marital rites, effectively disavowing homosexuality, as well as sexual pleasure, and labeling them as sinful. Additionally, Dutch adolescents with same-sex attractions tend to have lower levels of well-being and are at risk for increased substance abuse and emotional problems compared to their heterosexual peers (Kuyper et al, 2016).
This study shall seek to explore the various roles of culture and religion in the lived experiences of bicultural youth, and how those roles influence their sexual attitudes and practices.
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De Nederlandse Publieke Omroep – Hoe God (bijna) verdween uit Nederland – March 13, 2016 6 focusMIGRATION Country Profile – Netherlands - No. 11, November 2007
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EuroTopics – Religion in the Netherlands: Trends, Influences, and Discussions – April 18, 2016 8
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2.2 Dutch Sexual Education
The Netherlands has an international reputation for having some of, if not, the best
comprehensive sexual health education in the world. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines health as “a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity” (WHO, 1946). From there, the definition(s) of sexual and reproductive health simply expand upon the WHO’s definition of health. In research, the Netherlands is consistently compared to the United States in order to show the vast differences in how sexual education has developed over time, is currently conducted, and the results (Rose 2005, Weaver et al 2005, Brugman et al 2010, Schalet 2011, Schalet et al 2014).
The United States does not federally mandate sexual health education so, therefore, the responsibility falls to the individual States, resulting in vastly different curricula when it comes to topics covered (or lack thereof) within the various sexual health education programs. In a country of 330 million people, with hundreds of different cultures, a variety of spoken languages, and a plethora of religions, this can easily become problematic. This is made painfully obvious when one looks at the unintended and unwanted teenage pregnancy and STD rates, of which the United States has the highest in the industrialized world; by contrast, the Netherlands has the lowest (Brugman et al, 2010).
As an American, my own experiences with sexual health education are based in the policies of my home state of Florida, and more specifically the county I was raised in, Broward – which, along with our neighbor to the south, Miami-Dade County, and based on state and federal data, has a history of leading the country in the highest rates of new cases of HIV infection.9 American male college students are more likely to report higher rates of HIV/STD infection and unintended pregnancies than their Dutch counterparts (Dodge et al, 2005). Conversely, Dutch college females reported higher levels of
contraceptive use and greater sexual education than their American counterparts (Brugman et al, 2010). These results can be explained by differences in religiosity and sexual health education.
One could make the argument that the Dutch take a “normalization” approach to adolescent sexuality, in which teenage sex is seen as healthy and natural so long as it is consensual between the partners involved. Part of this normalization process comes from the whole of society, with which the Netherlands has created a national dialogue and policies aimed at supporting youth throughout their
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development. Dutch youth are treated with respect and given the responsibility to make their own decisions, especially when it comes to sexuality10, resulting in better overall adolescent sexual health outcomes (Weaver et al, 2005; Schalet et al, 2014).
However, while it is most definitely defined as ‘comprehensive,’ exactly how comprehensive is the Dutch sexual health system? One recent study showed that actual knowledge of sexual problems and functioning was quite limited. Simply put, adolescents lack knowledge in the complexity of sexuality and sexual health (Grauvogl et al 2012). Moreover, due to religious and cultural dictates, asylum
seekers, refugees, and undocumented migrants – and therefore, their children - are at increased risk of having poor sexual health. Undocumented female migrants experience extremely high abortion rates and sexual or gynecological problems (Schoevers et al 2010, Picavet et al 2013). When compared to students that do not identify as religious, Muslim students express less desire to learn about sexual health.
This study will seek to determine what kind of conflicts bicultural youth face in terms of sexual education and the various roles that religion and culture play in their experiences.
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2.3 Interaction Model of Religious Influence
In order to more thoroughly examine and explain the impact of religious influence on the sexual beliefs and practices of bicultural Dutch youth, White’s interaction model of religious influence will be employed. According to White (1968), religion should be studied as a normative influence rather than as categories of theology due to the fact that there is a vast amount of diversity even within a particular religion. This is especially true when examining a specific religion across a set of cultures, for example Christianity in the United States versus Christianity in China versus Christianity in Ghana. In line with the previous example, while the tenets of a specific sect of Christianity may be the same, the practices, traditions, and beliefs may very well differ across cultures. White agrees by stating that each particular religious group has its very own unique history that is influenced by the cultural location of the
participating members.
While White uses the interaction model to examine the relationship between religious influence and capitalism, for the sake of this research, the model will be applied to the examination of religious influence on the sexuality of bicultural students. To simply, yet adequately, describe White’s take on religious influence, he urges readers to bear in mind “that it is the group norm affecting the participating member’s attitudes and behavior, not just the contents of theological doctrine…” So to explain the influence of religion, three basic principles are given: group phenomenon, normative structure of the group, and enforced norms.
White considers researchers who only study religious influence as a category of theology, as concentrating on the most insignificant part of religion. White insists that even within a specific religion, for example Judaism, there is great diversity within that faith. For instance, between Hasidic, Orthodox, and Ashkenazi Jews there are clear distinctions in clothing, daily rituals, attendance, and sexual practices and these also apply to Catholic and Protestant groups. It is because of this diversity that religious influence should be viewed as more than just a theological category, and instead as a group
phenomenon. Therefore, the first basic principle of the religious influence model is that, fundamentally, a religion is just a group of people with similar or shared beliefs interacting with one another. This is also the first aspect of my recruitment stage– the bicultural students that have been interviewed must identify as belonging, or having belonged, to a particular religious group (or have parents who do). The selected youth have interacted with their religious group by participating in youth outings, family retreats, religious summer camps, special services, language classes and mentoring younger believers,
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and regularly attending their place of worship. The theory states that it is the norms enforced by the group that affects the attitudes and practices of the religious participant. Conversely, it can be assumed that the attitudes and practices of the adolescents who do not or no longer participate in a religious group should then not be affected by the enforced norms of that group.
The second tenet of the interaction model is the normative structure of the group. That is, the religious group has a set of norms that are expected to be followed by each member. Regulations on gender roles, style of dress, alcohol consumption, and marital rites and expectations are all examples of standards expressed by some of the interviewed students. These expectations may have the additional weight of whatever “divine authority” reigns over the religion yet every group is still distinguished by its norms. While defining specific religious customs can be murky, for the sake of the research at hand, and just as White suggests, any and every norm of the religious group raised during interviews will be examined.
Lastly, White describes enforced norms as the final aspect of religious influence. These rules are strictly enforced by implementing various sanctions, ranging from mild to severe, from roaring approval to banishment. Because each group within a religion (and culture) is diverse, some may not enforce their specific norms as harshly as others. Additionally, through interaction with one another, these principles are imposed by the members of the group. To summarize, White states “the normative expectations of religious group living are both socialized into the children (or adult converts) and continually reinforced by the members of the group in interaction with one another.” For the sake of this research study and the voices of the participants, the details and enforcement of these norms were explored through semi-structured interviews where interviewees were asked about their religious upbringing and experiences with members of the group, as well as how they live their religion on a daily basis, amongst other aspects.
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2.4 Religion and Reference Group Theory
In order to form a broader theoretical foundation, Bock, Beeghley, and Mixon developed a model on religious influence derived from reference group theory (1983), which was preliminarily assessed in 1991 by Cochran and Beeghley. Simply put, reference group theory postulates that one’s “behaviors and attitudes are decisively shaped by the groups in which they participate” (Cochran and Beeghley, 1991). People refer to such groups for support and validation in two ways: as an assessment of past behavior (comparative reference groups) and for counsel on current or future behavior
(normative reference groups), regardless if they are a group member or not. Using reference group theory makes it “possible to state in abstract terms some of the conditions under which people use their religion or their social status as a frame of reference in regard to sexual morality” (p. 546). While
Cochran and Beeghley did not focus on those who were not active participants of or belonged to a religious group, they do acknowledge that, regardless, the groups may continue to have an influence on one’s attitudes and behaviors, which is why I have chosen to include youth who might not currently identify as religious, but who did have a religious upbringing. I hope to explore how bicultural adolescents utilize reference groups through the interviews.
It is important to note what defines a group versus a collectivity. A group can be argued as a number of people who are in extended interaction in accordance with the norms set forth by the group and who identify themselves and are defined by others as members of the group, for example a family or a church. A collectivity is a number of people who share a sense of solidarity due to a set of common norms and values. Additionally, collectivities feel obligated to conform to role expectations, for example people who share socioeconomic status. So, to draw a more detailed picture of how a collectivity becomes a reference group for an individual, thus allowing for the groups’ influence over said individual, five different criteria are given: similarity, agreement, clarity, sustained interaction and, last but not least, significant others.
The first attribute, similarity, describes the analogous characteristics, specifically the status attributes, of an individual member and those of other group members, like social class. How alike do bicultural students see themselves to the other members of their religious and cultural groups? How do they identify in terms of culture, and why? What similarities do they see there? Conversely, what makes them different from others in the group? The next trait is purely the extent to which an individual agrees with the values and beliefs, or the doctrine, of the group. How far do one’s beliefs and values correlate
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with those of the group? What kind of conflict occurs when they differ? How do students handle the conflict arising when their beliefs begin to diverge from those of the group? Third, clarity describes how concise the values and beliefs of the group are. How often do the principles change or do they remain relatively constant over time? How often are the values and beliefs preached? Are these preached in a clear and concise way? Sustained interaction, the fourth characteristic, merely describes how often an individual member interacts with the group, perhaps through regular attendance at religious services. How often do the selected youth attend church and do they like it? How do they feel during services and why do they attend? Lastly, the fifth criterion describes the relationship between an individual and their religious group leaders, how significant that relationship is, and how often leaders are sought for counsel. What do youth think of them? Do they ever seek out their counsel, and, if so, what kind of is sought and what kind of advice is given? Once again, I hope to gain a deeper understanding of how these attributes play out in the lived experiences of bicultural Dutch youth through semi-structured interviews and detailed extensive coding.
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3. Methodology
3.1 Qualitative Research Approach: Semi-structured in-depth individual interviews
To more clearly understand the various experiences of (and influences on) bicultural youth concerning religion and sexuality, a qualitative research approach consisting of in-depth semi-structured individual interviews has been chosen. Initially, while the study would have employed some quantitative research methods using preliminary questionnaires and/or surveys, these were subsequently omitted in order for the research to be more focused on actual observations and semi-structured interviews. Questionnaires and surveys would have solely been used for initial sampling to classify potentialparticipants for the interviews. However, after considerable deliberation, these were retained in favor of self-identification and confirmation, for example, students’ affirmation that they either are currently religious or were raised within a religious household.
Hennink, Hutter, and Bailey (2011) explain that using in-depth interviews as a part of a research method is crucial because “it reinforces the purpose of gaining a detailed insight into the research issues from the perspective of the study participants themselves” (p. 109). Following this logic and for the purpose of gathering sound quality data, private in-depth interviews were chosen as they provide a safe haven in which the interviewees can share their personal thoughts and experiences.
Initially, interviews were conducted in person, face-to-face, and recorded on a mobile phone. In spite of requests for privacy, a handful of interviews were conducted in a school teacher’s lounge, but the remainder were subsequently held in a quiet, windowless room devoid of distraction. However, due to an unforeseen and catastrophic technological malfunction, all the accumulated interview data was lost. Considering that 15 interviews had been completed, the data loss was not only a huge setback but caused great stress and desperation. The majority of the lost interviews included profound and valuable information that would have been vital to the research at hand, so losing everything was truly
cataclysmic. However, as time was of the essence with the academic year ending and the availability of students also hampered by final exams, I had to hurriedly re-interview the same students online using Skype chat and Facebook messenger. While face-to-face interviews were, of course, preferred to internet interviews, conducting these proved beneficial in various ways, providing the interviewees with greater privacy, more flexibility and more time to reflect and be more open with their responses, attitudes and experiences. While Rubin and Rubin (2005) claim that the high level of privacy in internet
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interviews “make it difficult for a relationship to form between interviewer and interviewee,” (p. 30) I found the opposite. Since these students had previously been interviewed, a relationship had already been established and the students were more at ease in their responses and their choice of descriptive and informal language. This process was even more constructive and positive than the initial interviews, giving me a better understanding of the lived experiences of these bicultural adolescents.
Since Hennink, Hutter, and Bailey (2011) summed it up quite simply in stating that “in-depth interviews may be described as a conversation with a purpose” (p.109), a semi-structured interview guide (Appendix 3) with open-ended questions was formulated so that bicultural youth could more comfortably relate their experiences of religion, culture, and sexuality, within their family, community, and educational elements in a trusting atmosphere devoid of judgment or consequence.
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3.2 Reciprocal Interaction Approach
From my perspective in order to obtain and ensure honest quality data, it is the responsibility of the interviewer to establish a credible relationship and a safe environment so that interviewee feels relaxed and secure enough to reveal and share their personal experiences and thoughts. To ensure this outcome, a reciprocal interaction approach was preferred. The goal of this method is to avoid
objectifying the participant by allowing the interviewer to also share their own personal details and experiences in a respectful atmosphere through responsive interviewing, which emphasizes building a trusting relationship with the interviewee (Rubin & Rubin, 2012), lessening the power differential between interviewer and interviewee. Likewise, Ritchie and Lewis (2003) state that by building a reciprocal relationship “the emphasis is on the distinction between the roles of researcher and
participant becoming less stark, with the interview being seen as a collaboration” (p. 180). Considering this study’s goal is to gain a more accurate understanding of the lives of bicultural youth and their perspectives of and experiences with religion, culture, and sexuality, responsive interviewing was considered the most effective method. (Rubin & Rubin, 2012:38).
While I was conscious not to contradict or influence anything the students said during the interviews, in the reciprocal interaction approach, I shared my own bicultural and religious experiences, creating a more informal atmosphere and somewhat of a common bond. This strengthened my
collaborative positioning as their partner and equal, superseding my role as interviewer. Responsive interviewing also permitted me the flexibility to correct any inaccuracies that might occur during the process (Rubin & Rubin, 2012:10).
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3.3 Sample
3.3.1 Obstacles within Recruitment
The original objective was to observe workshops which would allow for purposive sampling through the distribution and completion of a religious attitude survey. In purposive sampling, the defining criteria is selected in the early stages of the study and is typically based on the primary goals of the research (Ritchie & Lewis, 2003:114). In other words, purposive sampling guarantees that particular classes of themes central to the research are represented in the study’s final sample (Robinson,
2014:32). The criteria for this research study were: being currently religious or having had a religious upbringing, having a cultural background other than Dutch, and being between the ages of 14 and 20 and were chosen to evoke more comprehensive responses.
Based on the results of the religious attitude surveys, selected bi-cultural youth would have been invited to share their thoughts in a one-on-one personal interview. To attain a more
comprehensive understanding of bicultural religious and sexual attitudes, semi-structured face-to- face interviews were to have been completed between March and May 2016. While this goal initially appeared realistic and achievable, external factors impeded me from securing the desired number of interviews in the specified timeframe.
The initiative consisted of interviewing 15-20 students, from across the Netherlands, between the ages of 14-18 who identify as being bicultural and religious themselves, or having had a religious upbringing. In order to recruit participants, gatekeepers and snowballing were used (Hennink, Hutter & Bailey, 2011). The aforementioned attitude surveys would have sorted students based on two variables [1] who either identify as religious themselves, or who have parents who do and [2] who identify as bi/multicultural. An ideal participant sample would be multicultural and identify anywhere on the vast gender and sexuality spectrums.
Unfortunately, it proved exceedingly difficult to attract such young participants, especially if one does not speak Dutch. So consequently joining a formal network like a Dutch-based multinational non-profit organization, where language is not a barrier and access to adolescents facilitated, was considered a logical and effective path. Working with the organization, the strategy was to visit a few local
secondary schools within Amsterdam, and observe an assortment of adolescent sexual education workshops. Unfortunately, performing more than five in-person interviews within the original
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timeframe proved unrealistic considering that my initial resources and the internship had failed to provide enough access to sufficient bicultural candidates. This was a great disappointment and setback within the research study, resulting in a staggering opportunity loss of almost six weeks. In addition, workshops were either cancelled by the schools or rescheduled to times that conflicted with my
schedule and so I attended fewer than originally planned. The initial timespan also included a two-week school holiday period effectively eliminating a crucial 14 days of access for my research, creating an agonizing situation and serious doubt in whether or not to continue the study.
The several workshops I did attend served as observations and opportunities to reach out to students who were asked about their cultural and religious backgrounds. This was done (in favor of the religious attitude surveys) as a preliminary screening to exclude those who did not meet the research criteria. Students who qualified were then invited to participate in interviews. Those who agreed were subsequently emailed or telephoned within 24 hours, but regrettably, none ever responded.
To compensate for the lack of participants, the snowballing method was used and a curriculum coordinator, an acquaintance of the head of the interning organization, was asked to gather students who fit the participant criteria. This time, potential candidates were invited to leave their English classes and offered credit for participating in an interview conducted in English (as I am not faculty at that particular school, I was not privy to how they were credited.). The optimal scenario was of course to hold these in a private room, free from distractions and eavesdroppers, providing the participants with a more comfortable, anonymous and secure environment. However, this was not initially possible so the interviews were relegated to an open-plan teachers’ lounge affording little privacy. Had I had more time and support, I would have delayed the interviews until more favorable conditions could be secured but this was not possible. Students were thus advised that though total confidentiality could not be
guaranteed, their names would be protected and changed and other than the experiences they shared with me, no personal information would be included in the reports. Interviews were then held in a quiet corner of the lounge and recorded on a mobile phone voice recording app.
Considering that recruiting participants through the internship had been problematic, I reached out to a series of youth organizations, online forums, and colleagues from within the Gender and Sexuality graduate program at the University of Amsterdam. Additionally, while I attempted to procure participants through online forums dedicated to bicultural Dutch adults and teens alike, going through these websites was disturbing. Initial responses were extremely aggressive, offensive, threatening, and sexual in nature such as “You don’t care about us or our struggles, you only want to steal our knowledge
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for your own benefit,” or “I’ll help you if you help me,” and suggesting payment in oral sex or intercourse. After several attempts, I stopped, concluding that not only were these respondents extremely distrustful of someone in academia, but their sole purpose in these “forums” was securing available and willing sexual partners.
So, to acquire the number of suitable research candidates, I had to extend my timeframe to the end of June. After completing the interviews, data analysis would have then taken place in June and July.
In early July after having finally completed the last of my interviews, in the process of transferring the interview files from the mobile phone to the laptop computer, the mobile phone basically died. After taking it for repair, the diagnosis was that the phone’s motherboard was completely damaged and a data retrieval company was suggested. But, at a cost of 1600 euros with no guarantee of recovering the essential data, I decided against it. While I had lost all of the recorded data, I did have saved detailed written notes from four of the interviews, as well as my memories of the others, that I would analyze and use in the study.
After working diligently and overcoming multiple obstacles throughout the course of this study, especially the disappointing internship experience and the disastrous data loss, and although I felt completely beaten, I explained the situation to the school administrator in Alkmaar, hoping to re-interview the students. However, it was now exam time and the end of the school year, leaving no opportunity to re-interview students face-to-face, before summer holiday began. However, I was given permission to email students and request interviews at their convenience, but I was not to imply any pressure from the school. In addition to reaching out to those previously interviewed, I was forced to expand the age criteria and began contacting several Dutch colleagues and posting requests for suitable volunteers on various University of Amsterdam Facebook pages to no avail.
It is understandable that after having all of these challenges, one would seriously consider giving up. The conducted interviews contained highly interesting, important, and vital data that would have been paramount to this study. Several interviews were particularly valuable. One specific interviewee provided a great amount of detail concerning his experiences with religion, culture, and sexuality. Unfortunately, not only was his interview forever lost, but regrettably he never responded to requests for a second interview. After acknowledging that surrendering would be the greatest setback of all, I decided to go forward. As much as losing all of the recorded data pained me, not finishing the research
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on time and waiting another year was unacceptable. The decision to restructure and continue the research was made. I may have lost all my recorded data, but I was not done.
3.3.2 The Eventual Sample
After struggling to recruit student participants, I utilized the snowballing method once more by asking an 18-year-old Dutch friend who, fortunately, connected me with a suitable candidate who was interviewed at my home and recorded on a new mobile phone app.
Immediately after the data disaster, I began reaching out to those students previously
interviewed. Within two weeks of the data loss, I was able to re-interview nine of the 11 students from the Christian school in North Holland. For expediency, the interviews were conducted and recorded via Skype or Facebook chat. Additionally, one original interview and about 95 percent of a second were saved from the face-to-face interviews as were detailed notes on several of those lost.
Once suitable bicultural candidates were selected, they were asked to participate in a semi structured interview, which would explore the roles religion and culture may have on their attitudes and practices towards sex and sexuality in general. Along with religion, culture, and sexuality, the interview guide focused on several subthemes: familial religion, peer influence, and sexual education. Conducting observations and interviews should gain more support for the theory by providing more comprehensive insight into the lives of bicultural Dutch youth and, to what extent, if any, religion may or may not influence, or conflict with their attitudes toward sexuality. After conducting interviews, open coding was to be used to identify and relate concepts that were continuously raised by participants. In order to further organize shared concepts, axial coding was to be applied so as to assemble the concepts into themes. All coding was done manually without the use of software which was more efficient in organizing themes.
In the end, 14 students between the ages of 15-20 were interviewed. Of those 14 interviews, 10 were completed via internet, one in-person interview was only several questions shy of completion, and detailed notes were kept on four of the lost face-to-face interviews. Out of the 14 participants
(Appendix 1), nine live in or near Alkmaar and the remaining five live in the Amsterdam area. All
participants chose to identify as cisgender and heterosexual, and only four – two males and two females – are sexually active. Although the original focus was on children between the ages of 10-16, after considering the preteens’ probable lack of overall experience concerning sexuality, their probable lack of
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sufficient fluency in English, and the aforementioned difficulty in recruiting qualified participants, the focus shifted to teens and young adults, who being older, would have better English skills, and more insight into their own personal experiences concerning religion, culture, and sexuality. All participants came from different cultural backgrounds including Moroccan, Turkish, Surinamese, Italian, Portuguese, Polish, Russian, Moldovan, Croatian, Ghanaian, Syrian, Vietnamese, and Andorran. All students,
identifying as religious or not, have either a Muslim or Christian background such as Catholic or Pentecostal. Having a wide variety of religions was the original goal but proved too challenging as was finding students who identify other than as heterosexual. It was not possible to find any who identify as both LGBT+ and religious.
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3.4 Interview Procedure
In order to better answer the research questions at hand, a semi-structured interview guide was designed, consisting of 35 open-ended questions, focusing primarily on the participant’s experiences with culture, religion, and sexuality. So that the interviews would flow naturally and the interviewees would feel comfortable, the interview guide was designed based with the reciprocal interaction
approach in mind, allowing me to share my own bicultural and religious experiences whenever the need arose. Of course, in consideration of the individual interviewees, the order and structure of the
questions were sometimes altered during the interviews depending on the topics raised and their specific experiences, and probes were often used to gain more understanding of the lived experiences of bicultural youth. At the end of each interview, participants were asked for suggestions on important topics not discussed but which could be covered in subsequent interviews. Subjects included porn and masturbation which were adopted into the interview guide, and cultural music, which was not. Additionally, interviewees were encouraged to ask any questions they may have had.
At the beginning of May, five students were selected to participate in face-to-face
semi-structured interviews and provided with parental consent forms. The first participant is of legal age and so parental consent was not required and neither was it from the following four interviewees who were recruited through sexual education workshops. Prior to beginning, each student was asked permission to audio record the interview. The first participant was given the choice of where to hold the interview, and my personal residence was chosen for comfort and convenience. The following four interviews were held at the students’ school and were consigned to the teacher’s lounge.
In June, 11 students were selected from a Christian secondary school in the Northern Dutch town of Alkmaar. After securing signed informed parental consent (Appendix 2), face-to-face semi-structured interviews were conveniently held at the school over a two day period in a private windowless room. As mentioned previously, students were asked permission to audio record the interviews and, once these began, were given a brief introduction on the research study, informed consent, and information about myself as the interviewer.
As a consequence of the data loss, nine out of the 11 students from Alkmaar were
re-interviewed online via Skype and Facebook chat. Additionally, one participant was secured through a serendipitous meeting in Duivendrecht and also interviewed online. As with the original face-to-face interviews, the participants were promised anonymity and asked permission for the interviews to be
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saved for later analysis. The interviewees were given the responsibility of choosing a decent time to be interviewed online. Consequently, the available time period was much greater than the original in-person interviews and occurred between 8:00 and 23:30 CET and all were between 40 and 90 minutes long, allowing interesting dialogue to flow while not losing sight of the vital aspects of the research at hand. Additionally, as I am not sufficiently fluent in Dutch and because the students’ were somewhat fluent in English, interviews were held in English. Considering that English is not their native language, vocabulary and grammar mistakes were to be expected, therefore, during transcription some of the interviewees’ words or structures may have been clarified so as to be more intelligible to the reader, but the meaning and context of the participants’ words remained true to what they wished to express and convey.
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3.5 Data Analysis
Bearing in mind that the motive for this research study was to explore how bicultural adolescents perceive the roles of religion and culture in their attitudes toward and experiences with sexuality, the interaction model of religious influence as well as religion and reference group theory will serve to better understand the completed data. Throughout the research study, these two perspectives were continuously employed in creating the interview guide and subsequently analyzing the collected data by transcribing interviews and repeatedly rereading them in order to better interpret them. Following transcriptions, the interviews were initially analyzed through open coding followed by axial coding. The coding process is vital to this study because it not only allows me to classify and interpret issues raised by the participants, but codes also act as a way to organize and facilitate locating the entire data set. (Hennink, et al 2011). Open coding is the first step in this process, as it allows the researcher to easily identify and determine various topics consistently brought up by the interviewees. Once open coding had been completed, axial coding was utilized to better organize and compile the earlier topics into essential themes. In keeping with the proposed research questions and theoretical framework, in which both the interaction model of religious influence and religion and reference group theory were critical to the study, the essential themes were closely related to these criteria. Subsequently, open and axial coding led to the following themes (and subthemes):
1) Culture a) On Family
b) Identity: Race and Passing c) Norms on Gender and Sex 2) Religion
a) Asking for advice
b) Congregational Dedication: Is it really that important? c) Familial Influence
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a) Familial Influence
b) Shame: On Porn and Masturbation c) Sluts vs. Fuckboys
4) Sexual Education
a) The Awkwardness of Sex Ed b) Religious and Cultural Influences c) Topics Covered (or lack thereof)
The following chapters will provide deeper insight into the research questions by using the aforementioned themes to interpret the experiences of bicultural youth.
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3.6 Ethical Dilemmas
Before beginning the interviews the majority of participants and their parents, were asked to read and sign an informed consent form so as to ensure ethical conduct. Since certain participants had come from a non-profit organization which had previously secured permission for them to participate in interviews, these were only verbally informed and asked for permission before the interviews began, and again during the interview while on record. The information provided in the informed consent form, as well as verbally communicated to students, addressed the primary goals of the study, including the vital themes of religion, culture, and sexuality. Additionally, the benefits of the research study were explained as were their own participant rights. Again, regardless of whether or not students (and their parents) had given written consent, all participants went on record and acknowledged their rights and agreed to participate, so long as their identities were anonymized.
However, with four interviews being conducted in an active teacher’s lounge, the information given could not be guaranteed as confidential. Had there been more time and opportunity to interview students, a more private setting would have been sought. Even though students were well aware of the lack of privacy, and still willingly participated in the interviews, in the future, I will be more adamant on requiring an acceptable degree of privacy for the benefit of the participants.
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Results
The following chapters will present the results of the collected interview data, in which various themes were raised by the participants. Chapters four through eight will examine the personal
narratives of bicultural adolescents and young adults with religious backgrounds by exploring the various general themes of religion, culture, sexuality, and sexual education. More specifically, some of the common themes in their lived experiences include: familial influence, gender norms, race and
passing, shame, and of course, cultural and religious influences.
Chapter four will focus on the cultural aspects of familial influence, race and passing, and gender
norms. In chapter five, rules and norms, seeking divine advice, and congregational dedication are all
explored through a religious perspective. Familial influence on sexuality, sex-shaming, and sexual shame will all be examined in chapter six. Finally, participants’ experiences will be shared regarding the
awkwardness of sexual education, topics covered in sex ed, and the roles of religion and culture in those
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4. Culture in the Netherlands
4.1 On Family
The family, as a structure, is a global phenomenon that occasionally transcends species and is consistently present in all types of societies throughout history. It is upon the foundation block of family that social order and, furthermore, society is based. The nuclear family is composed of the parents and immediate children, whereas the extended family goes beyond to include grandparents and other relatives. The family is therefore defined as a kinship system traditionally based on blood but of course includes non-genetic relatives (Kamers, 2006).
The importance of mothers and fathers, and more generally the family unit as a whole, has been formally studied for more than half a century. In an internationally-known experiment on infant rhesus monkeys by Harry Harlow in the 1950s, it was found that providing warmth and love was imperative for the mental, physical, and emotional development, of the baby (1959). Since then, various studies have found that in families that provide love, hospitality, and care, open discussions on sexuality and gender were also facilitated. Their adolescent children were not only more knowledgeable on sexual and reproductive health, but also more autonomous, sexually safer, and happier than their peers who had weaker interpersonal family relationships (Ferreira, et al. 2013). Conversely, those with poor
interpersonal family relationships were more likely to exhibit negative attitudes toward and experiences with sexuality (Somers & Paulson, 2000). Another study found that it is typically mothers who achieve this open and communicative relationship with their children, while fathers act as the disciplinarians (Williams, 2010). The father-as-disciplinarian role was evident in the majority of this study’s participants, specifically those fathers who were consistently present and involved in the lives of their daughters. One participant, Isabella (age 16) with an Italian mother and Surinamese father but was born and raised in the Netherlands, described her parents’ strict rules regarding dating and sex. After briefly mentioning that her father was “easier” than her mother on these subjects, we had the following conversation on what would happen should she break the rules:
“Isabella: The first 4 months [of dating] I can't sleep with a guy Cassandra: What would happen if you did sleep with a boy? I: After 4 months? C: Before I: Oh than I have a problem because I did something secretly. [My Dad] wouldn't trust me anymore C: And if you had told him?
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I: He still wouldn't trust me I think and I still would get punished.”
Parental strictness can often be explained by ethnic differences when it comes to gender norms and socialization (Richman & Mandara, 2013). In this research study, this was particularly true for adolescents with Turkish, Moroccan, and Ghanaian backgrounds. For example, it’s quite common in the Netherlands for Dutch adolescents to have sleep-overs not only with same-sex friends but also with their romantic partners in their parents’ home (Schalet 2009, 2011, 2014). However, in this particular study that was true for students of multicultural backgrounds. One young Ghanaian-Dutch woman, Mari (age 20) explained that when one is raised Ghanaian:
“You are raised different then someone that’s Dutch like I was never allowed to stay over at a friends because 'bad sprits' and stuff like that and I was not allowed to go clubbing even if it was 16+…” Mari also discussed how her parents, specifically her father, are not openly communicative about sexuality and sexual health. It has already been shown that when parents do not impart adequate sexual health knowledge to their children, there are consequences that their children will suffer (Darling & Hicks, 1982; Somers, et al., 2000; Ferreira, et al. 2013). For example, I suspect that the lack of parental communication could be one cause of Mari and Susana’s less than satisfying sexual debuts, though of course this suspicion could be unfounded. When we were discussing Mari’s first time with sexual intercourse, she used one word to describe the experience: “Painful.” Since her sexual debut, intercourse has become much more pleasurable and enjoyable. For Susana, the only other sexually-active female participant, her mother had been the one to give her the “sex talk,” focused primarily on menstruation and puberty, as well as preventing pregnancy. However, neither of her parents ever mentioned the pleasurable side of sex. When asked about her sexual debut, Susana said that “it hurt, but it got better over time.”
Many participants discussed how their parents have either asked or instructed them not to have sex until they are at least 18 (or until marriage). Every participant mentioned how important it is to respect their parents, elders, and cultures (cultural-filial piety). Cultural-filial piety emphasizes “deference to and relatedness with one’s family and cultural background” (Richman & Mandara, 2013:627). In the aforementioned study, it was found that filial-cultural piety was related to higher levels of parental strictness, as well as less autonomy-granting. Furthermore, the study’s results corroborated previous research that showed that parents of adolescent males were less strict and
