The most coveted union

Regerege ni appang The frame of the basket Lalak ni sikkoru The rind of sikkoru grass Ibebere ni damang Father’s sister’s daughter

Anak ni namboru Son of father’s sister (meaning: ‘My darling!’)

(Braasem 1951:76)

Toba Batak adat also recognizes so-called positive marriage guidelines, which refer to marital unions considered particularly auspicious. The dalihan na tolu consists of relationships between a marga and its bridegiving and bridetaking clans; and the Toba Batak have a preference for the renewal of these relations in every generation. There is no strict rule prescribing that a marriage should reinforce a previous marital alliance, but betrothals arranged by parents used to be and occasionally still are based on this consideration. In the rural context, the guideline—put simply—states that a girl should ideally marry a boy from a family in her own or a neighbouring village, who belongs to a marga that has been receiving brides from her own marga in past generations. This is the Batak variant of marrying the boy next door.

A marriage between full cross-cousins—a marriage between a man’s daughter and his sister’s son—was considered particularly fortunate.⁴¹ This union perpetuates an existing hulahula-boru relationship most directly and perfectly. The man refers to his cousin as the hulahula-boru ni tulang (maternal uncle’s daughter) and she refers to him as the anak namboru (paternal aunt’s son), the term used in the fourth line of the proverb in the opening of this section. They address each other with the same term, pariban. The maternal uncle of a young man, his tulang, will always pay special attention to his nephew, as the latter may marry one of his daughters in the future.⁴² If the nephew plans to marry another woman, he will visit his uncle together with his mother and bring a ceremonial meal to apologize for passing by his daughter and to ask for his permission for the marriage (Ypes 1932:138-9).

Besides marriage between full cross-cousins, a marriage between a man and a woman from any of the marga related to his own marga as bridegiver in further removed generations is also considered desirable. In such a case bride and groom are related to each other as ‘classificatory cross-cousins’. That marriage between actual and classificatory cross-cousins is considered ‘ideal’

is still reflected in the usual term of address between lovers and married couples: they address each other as pariban, even if they are not each other’s actual or classificatory cross-cousin.⁴³ 2.7. Reciprocal marriage payments

Another conspicuous theme in the myth of origin is the brideprice. Tuan Soripada paid the brideprice to Batara Guru for his daughter Si Boru Surbajati, the tuhor ni boru, literally ‘what is exchanged for the daughter’. Receiving the brideprice created an obligation that Batara Guru

41 Such a union is known as ‘matrilateral cross-cousin marriage’ in anthropological terminology.

42 Vergouwen 1933:74, 209. The tulang also looks after his sister’s daughters and at their marriage he always receives a share of the brideprice, the upa ni tulang (Vergouwen 1964:173).

43 Braasem 1951:268-269, Niessen 1985:90. This is also noted by Kipp (1986:637) for the Karo Batak. Kipp makes an interesting observation that in Karo Batak society before marriage, lovers who are not (classificatory) cross-cousins address each other with the term used for a person of the other sex whom one is not allowed to marry. None of the sources used mentions this for the Toba Batak.

clearly had to fulfil: after his eldest daughter vanished into another world he had to replace her with her younger sister. The myth thus underlines the function of payment of the brideprice as the sealing of a contract: Batara Guru was reminded by his brother that if he did not provide a new bride he would be guilty of breach of contract, which would only ‘exacerbate the conflict’.

What that might lead to is clear from the argument used by the brothers to coax their second sister, Si Boru Deak Parujar, into acceptance of the marriage: their uncle Soripada might sell the whole family into slavery.

The brideprice is part of a wider set of marriage payments or gifts, which are exchanged

between the bridegiving and bridetaking parties in a two-way direction.⁴⁴ This is not referred to in the myth, probably because knowledge of this was taken for granted on the part of a Batak

44 Comaroff (1980) uses the term ‘marriage payments’, while Niessen uses ‘marriage gifts’. Neither is a satisfying term.

The term ‘payment’ suggests a transaction that can be concluded by anyone, while the items exchanged at a Toba Batak marriage always have a specific receiver: the term ‘gift’ indicates that its presentation is voluntary, whereas there is nothing voluntary about the goods exchanged at marriage. For lack of a more appropriate term, I use both terms interchangeably. The Batak themselves use the term jambar (see text) which means ‘share’. For an early and very influential anthropological work on exchange of marriage gifts, see Mauss (1990 [1923]).

4. Negotiations on the marriage payments (marunjuk)

audience. The ritual exchange of marriage payments takes place on the day of the marriage.

Without exchange there is no marriage and no alliance between marga. Phrased differently, in order for a marriage to be accepted by Batak society, it has to be concluded by the proper preliminary and finalizing ceremonies, which are always accompanied by the exchange of marriage payments or gifts.

The chain of gifts starts with the negotiations (marhata) between a hulahula and boru starting at the betrothal (mangoro).⁴⁵ This leads to binding exchanges of goods until the whole brideprice or a substantial part of it is handed over on the occasion of the marriage ritual

(parunjuhon) (Vergouwen 1964:170-1; 176-81). On the day the marriage is concluded, not only the two families who become related through marriage as bridegiver (hulahula) and bridegiver (boru) are present, but also the representatives from each of their respective bridegiving and bridetaking clans. This is reflected in the seating arrangement at a marriage ceremony. The two sets of dalihan na tolu sit on the village square. The parboru—usually the father of the bride,

45 If a couple takes the first initiative, the chain of gifts starts when they exchange ‘tokens of seriousness of their intentions’

(mangalehon tanda hata).

Photographs 4 and 5 in Vergouwen 1964 (1933) next to page 176. (Reproduction by Royal Netherlands Institute of Southeast Asian and Caribbean Studies, henceforward referred to as KITLV).

5. The bridegiver (parboru) gives an ulos to the bridetaker (paranak)

otherwise his substitute—and his brothers who are the host (suhut) sit with their bridegivers on their right side and their bridetakers on their left facing the rice barn. The bridetaking party and his bridegivers and bridetakers face the host and his house. This party consists of the father of the groom or his representative (the paranak), with his male relatives—and the representatives of their bridegiving clans on their right and bridetaking clans on their left side. Representatives of the two groups then express, through the medium of gift exchange, how they are related to each other. This way of contracting a customary marriage is practiced up to this day.

In principle, women are not involved in the negotiations about the marriage payments (marhata sinamot). This does not mean that they do not play any role in the process of bringing about a marriage. Mothers may be involved in sounding out the other party to find out whether the marriage is considered desirable or at least acceptable before more formal steps are taken.

And they will try to further a marriage with the tulang ni boru if they consider that marriage desirable. At the time of the marriage ceremony, the mother of the bride is fed by the hand (disulangi) by the father of the groom, who says to her: ‘with pleasure I feed thee, aunt, so that thy soul (tondi) will always bestow blessings, and thy daughter will soon get pregnant’ (Vergouwen 1964:94; Nasution 1943:97).

The gifts exchanged are prescribed by adat. In principle these are uni-directional, meaning that particular goods originate from the hulahula to the boru, and other goods go in the opposite direction.⁴⁶ The brideprice (tuhor ni boru or sinamot) from the bridetaking family (boru) is exchanged for the appropriate reciprocal gifts (boli ni sinamot) from the bridegiving family (hulahula). Meat is exchanged for fish, cooked rice for uncooked rice, and so forth. The brideprice is received by the man who marries off the bride, the parboru, who receives the largest share, whereas his brother(s), his son(s) and the representatives of his bridegivers and bridetakers also receive a gift.⁴⁷ Meat and money shares are usually distributed to the wider group of relatives and attending villagers. Up to this day, the ‘master of ceremony’ calls each person entitled to a particular share of the ceremonial meat loudly and clearly by his name, stating his relation to either parboru or paranak. If a person is given the ‘wrong’ share, he will be offended. All the gifts are handed over in public.⁴⁸ The community taking part in the festivities ideally includes representatives of all the marga inhabiting a certain geographical area. In this way everyone is informed about the marriage and the new marital alliance.⁴⁹

The brideprice is the main component of the marriage payments and used to exceed the value of the counter-gifts. The brideprice is called sinamot, but also tuhor ni boru, which means

‘what is given in exchange for the bride’.⁵⁰ The brideprice is part of the category of gifts that go from bridetaker to bridegiver, the so-called piso gifts (piso means knife). In public address the

46 The jambar is the share one is entitled to in accordance with one’s role in the marriage ceremony. There are specific jambar for the hulahula, boru, the raja of the village, and so forth. Niessen (1985:92-102) gives the following categories of gifts: 1) brideprice from the boru (sinamot, pansamatan); 2) the reciprocation of the brideprice (boli ni sinamot or ulos gifts) from the hulahula; 3) the meat shares (jambar juhut); 4) food shares; 5) money shares (jambar hepeng).

47 For details on the division of shares see Patik [tr. Vergouwen] (1932)2-4; Vergouwen 1964:177-81 and Niessen 1985:95.

48 Such a distribution of meat shares also takes place at funeral ceremonies where the representatives of bridegivers and bridetakers reconfirm their kinship relationships. I attended such a distribution of meat shares in Balige in 1985 which was conducted in the way described here.

49 Vergouwen (1964:36) reports that the group invited to a wedding is called the sapangan djuhut: those who eat the meat together at the marriage ceremony, which may in its most extended form, involve representatives from the entire horja (cluster of villages in the neighborhood). The circle of persons invited probably depended on the status and wealth of the bridegiver and bridetaker.

50 Another Malay word for brideprice often found in the colonial literature is jujuran, but this word was more often used in the sources in the context of the Batak living in South Tapanuli than in the north.

brideprice is still referred to as ‘young cows and old gold’ (horbo na poso, mas na lobangon), although today it rarely consist of these items. The brideprice is reciprocated by gifts from the bridegiving to the bridetaking side. This category of gifts is called the ragi-ragi or ulos-ulos.

These presents always include several Batak woven cloths, ulos, the product of Batak women’s hands.⁵¹ The most important part of the ragi-ragi used to be a paddy field called pauseang, a bridegift for the daughter, primarily meant to feed the family she is going to raise with her husband.⁵² In principle the value of the ulos gifts, although less valuable than the piso gifts, should nevertheless be in proportion to the received brideprice (Vergouwen 1964:174,181). The value and contents of the marriage gifts depend on the social status and wealth of the families concerned. The importance of the gift exchange, however, has decreased in the colonial period for reasons summarized in the conclusion.

In the myth of origin, the emphasis lies on the contractual nature of the exchange of marriage payments. But the exchange also served other purposes. Based on the extensive anthropological literature on the subject, Comaroff (1980:17-18) makes a distinction between different functions and meanings of marriage gifts which are relevant in the context of Toba Batak adat prevailing during the colonial period, which I have added (in italics):

1. Marriage prestations are essential in establishing the legitimacy of a union, it being assumed that a clear distinction is generally made between regular and irregular relationships. […]

Without payment of a brideprice a marriage was considered illegal cohabitation. This was regarded as an offense to the one who ‘owned’ the woman, her parboru, and the village chiefs for which the culpable man had to pay heavy fines.

2. The passage of bridewealth signals the alienation of various kinds of rights in a woman to her husband and his kind; where it is paid in instalments, the movement of such rights occurs in concomitantly reciprocal stages. […]

After a marriage with exchange of marriage gifts has taken place, a Toba Batak woman belongs to her husband and his marga. In the past, if the brideprice was not fully paid or the promised counter gifts failed to come forward, the negotiations were renewed or the dispute was submitted to the rajas for mediation.

3. Of these [rights], perhaps the most significant concerns the affiliation of the children:

especially in patrilineal systems, bride price is child-price.

Without exception children belong to the marga of the father. A woman has no rights of custody in case of a divorce. A child born out of wedlock does not become a member of the mother’s marga. If the mother is married, the child belongs to the marga of her legal husband and not to the clan of the natural father.

4. The payment marks a transformation of personal and social statuses, not merely for the couple, but also for the wifegivers and -takers, who become affines, whatever else they might have been before.‘

This pertains to the Toba Batak context, too.

51 The gift directly bestowed on the paranak is the ulos pansamot (probably meaning the ulos given in exchange for the brideprice, the sinamot, while his brothers receive a type of ulos of minor prestige and value. The representatives of the bridetakers of the paranak are also entitled to an ulos gift.

52 One should keep in mind that gifts from the bridetaker to the bridegiver never involve land.

Comaroff emphasizes that the ‘jural’ approach has been central to the established anthropological analysis of marriage payments, in particular of the institution of the brideprice, which is a common characteristic of patrilineal societies consisting of unilinear descent groups. This approach indeed had a pervasive influence in the Toba Batak context during the colonial period, which was fuelled by the many disputes related to marriage gifts that were brought before the colonial courts. But during the early colonial period the exchange of marriage payments encompassed far more than establishing the legitimacy of a marital union and a kinship alliance.

The exchange at marriage made it possible to channel to a wide variety of economic, political, and social interests of the concerned parties, as will be shown in the next chapter. Toba Batak men arranged marriages as a means to exchange valuable assets (Comaroff 1980:19).

The first European observers who wrote about Toba Batak society—both travellers and missionaries—were less inclined to pay attention to the jural aspect of marriage: they were far more struck by the economic aspect of the exchange, viewing marriage as a commercial transaction:

a brideprice for a bride. This misunderstanding created a huge problem of communication and tension between the missionaries and the Toba Batak rajas stretching over several decades (see Chapters 7 and 8).⁵³ Gradually a more sophisticated understanding of the multiple purposes of the exchange of marriage payments took over, which included the following assessment as described by the anthropologist Comaroff (1980:15): ‘corporate groups […] create relationships of affinity and debt with each other, affirming their own internal solidarity and mutual interests in the process’.

This may still be the case. However, in the concluding chapter I will argue that although the exchange marriage gifts is a custom upheld by the Toba Batak up to this day, it no longer not serves the previously wide variety of purposes.

2. 8. The right marriage is a fertile marriage

Ingkon na maraek manang martak do The sugar-palm must have sap or wine Asa na marrongkap bagot I tu pangindit If it is to be compatible with its tapper

(Niessen 1985:117)

Bintang na rumiris, ombun na sumorop, Sons as many as the stars of heaven, Anak per iris, boru pe torop daughters as many as the heavy, low-hanging clouds⁵⁴

(Tobing 1956:80-81)

Lakal di ginjang pintu, The bark of a tree placed above the entrance singkoru

nigolomfolom singkoru corn abounds

Anak sampulu pitu, May you beget seventeen sons boru sampulu onom and as many as sixteen daughters

(Braasem 1951:61)

53 In 1933, Vergouwen (1964:44) criticized the interpretation of the exchange as a commercial transaction as follows: ‘It is often said that the Batak “buys” his wife. With this idea in mind it is rather difficult to understand that relations can still be maintained between two parties after this transaction’.

54 These verses were used in the address to Julia Hutabarat and her husband (Chapter 1, page 1).

Batara Guru and Soripada, as we saw, were afraid that the inappropriate marriage between their children would be subject to the curse of infertility. This anxiety points to what they clearly considered most important: that the marriage of their children would be blessed with offspring.

This is confirmed by the presence of a particular deity in the pantheon, Debata Asiasi, who is invoked when a married couple is not blessed with children.

For a marriage to be fertile, the souls of husband and wife must be compatible, for which the Batak use the term rongkap. This is suggested in the first proverb quoted above which tells us that the tapper—symbolizing the male—must be compatible with the sugar-palm—symbolizing the female. Rongkap works two ways: the soul of each partner must be favourably inclined towards the other. As long as Si Boru Deak Parujar’s husband had an ugly countenance, she refused cohabitation because she did not feel attracted to him. Tuan Rumauhir had to change countenance before Si Boru Deak Parujar was willing to accept him. Only then could she have sex with him and conceive. Mula Jadi Na Bolon apparently understands this, and that is why he asks Mangalabulan to cut his son Tuan Rumauhir into pieces so he can reincarnate as a handsome man. The reincarnated husband, Bulu Gading, is acceptable to his wife, and becomes the father of humankind. The myth appears to emphasize the importance of a man’s physical attraction for a woman as a condition conducive to mate. The message of this myth addressed to fathers may be read as follows: if a father wants his daughter to accept his choice of partner, he should find her a groom she is (sexually) attracted to. In this way he fosters the possibility of his daughter’s fecundity and a stable relationship with his bridetaker.⁵⁵

The overarching theme of the myth of origin, however, is not women’s fertility. The theme is present, but mainly metaphorically in Si Boru Deak Parujar’s power to create the earth. Her

The overarching theme of the myth of origin, however, is not women’s fertility. The theme is present, but mainly metaphorically in Si Boru Deak Parujar’s power to create the earth. Her

In document Toba Batak, Missionaries and Colonial Officials Negotiate the Patrilineal Order (1861-1942) (pagina 58-68)